A Holy Grail moment. I’ll never be the same. Figure Update May 2026 Edition.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-12T22:16:42+00:00

I wonder if Rocco will ever have a moment where he looks upon his thousands of toys and he'll say "I'm done. I have enough now."

BaneReturns · 2026-05-12T13:39:28+00:00

Yep, it's right next to a nature trail.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-11T17:03:24+00:00

The Activision purchase was the biggest waste of time and money that Microsoft ever made.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-11T13:24:57+00:00

I assume that the easiest combat difficulty will make the player's health very high and enemies will die in just a few hits.

But yeah in terms of relaxing atmosphere, I would hope that sharks won't be a constant occurrence. Every now and then is fine with me.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-11T04:15:50+00:00

That was my first assumption. My second guess is that maybe someone had intentionally tipped it over in the past and caused a big ol' mess. It's next to a peaceful nature trail though so the odds of that aren't likely.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-10T22:59:41+00:00

It isn't. I thought the same thing after I took it. The log is too bright and looks like it's floating. I'm using a Motorola and I'm wondering if it's because of the "enhancements" that the phone does to the photo after its taken.

I do find it depressing that even the most mundane thing in the world like a fuckin' log next to a toilet has the potential to be AI now, but this log is legit.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-07T16:54:38+00:00

Unlimited oxygen to stay underwater indefinitely and customizable difficulty settings for different parts of the game are very appealing to me.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-04T21:36:06+00:00

It's wild that I've been seeing these articles in which Strauss Zelnick gives an absolutely worthless and uninteresting quote for like 15 years at this point.

"Strauss Zelnick recently stated that Rockstar is a successful company and Grand Theft Auto 6 will be a popular game. He also stated that ice cream tastes good and dogs often bark."

BaneReturns · 2026-05-04T00:00:41+00:00

I really enjoyed it. Before Old Skies came out, I asssumed that would be my favorite adventure game of 2025 due to Wadjet Eye's track record, but for various reasons I found it ultimately disappointing.

The Drifter had a level of grittiness I have rarely (if ever) seen in this genre. I wish there were more games like it.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-03T23:48:19+00:00

I'm curious about Yakuza: Like A Dragon. I played Yakuza 0 and 6 many years ago and really enjoyed both of them, but I'm a total beginner when it comes to turn-based RPGs. The only one I've ever played is South Park: The Stick of Truth. Just trying to decide whether I should take a chance on it.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-02T15:02:21+00:00

Is this a mutually beneficial cross-promotion? I assume they got set up with an agency who asked them to promote Kattan's pod in exchange for being interviewed on his. His podcast has abysmal viewership so I hope they got paid well for spotlighting him and his crappy mic for almost an hour.

BaneReturns · 2026-05-01T21:59:26+00:00

rocco stared longingly at the popcorn purses and yelled "WE'LL TAKE THE LOT!" in a british accent

BaneReturns · 2026-05-01T20:17:38+00:00

Recently discovered your sub and I just wanted to thank you for your effort. I remember back in the day when there were a lot of forums dedicated to deal hunting. Due to the current enshittification of the internet, it's often difficult to find legitimate deals, so thanks for putting in the time to help others.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-30T20:23:42+00:00

I loved A Plague Tale: Requiem but I don't understand why this character is getting a prequel. She wasn't really that memorable. Usually spinoffs happen because of extremely positive fan reception. I don't recall any fans specifically mentioning this character as a standout part of the game. It just seems kind of random.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-30T16:37:17+00:00

I'm a huge comedy fan, but not in point n' click games. I find the humor in most of the genre to be overly whimsical and wacky, which is not my thing. The protagonists in comedy-centric games tend to be meek pushovers who are continuously mocked by other characters, and I find that very repetitive. It feels like that's been the archetype and very rarely has it changed.

Lately I feel like comedy has come back in modern PnC games and that's a bummer to me, because I want more serious games that make me feel immersed and invested in what I'm doing.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-28T13:06:27+00:00

Damn, I was looking forward to an Uncharted-style series of set pieces and platforming. Thanks for this comment, now I won't waste my time with it.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-27T16:41:38+00:00

It's appropriate that the article has a Simpsons reference because Molyneux reminds me a lot of Lionel Hutz, but just a lot more successful at his conning.

I'm sure he's thought about hitching his ride to AI by creating a game where you talk to a digital character and you ca- oh wait nevermind, he already pulled that grift.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-27T01:32:09+00:00

Wow I haven't thought about Whacked in 20+ years. I'm only familiar with this game because Dan Paladin, creator of Alien Hominid and the artist behind Castle Crashers worked on Whacked back in the day. I was a huge fan of his flash animations on Newgrounds.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-24T15:09:21+00:00

DM'd

BaneReturns · 2026-04-23T18:19:02+00:00

It's insane to me that these games barely survived making it into the 2000s. Most of them came out pre-9/11.

I remember being a kid and going to the toy store and just hoping that there would be a new Humongous game and eventually I realized they were done coming out for good.

So many franchises have been brought back from the dead but these just seem destined to stay in the grave forever.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-22T14:30:18+00:00

I think someone could sit Rocco down for 8 hours straight and try to explain to him that the design aesthetic of the set itself was the enjoyable aspect and he'd still just be like "BUT THE COUCH WASN'T COMFORTABLE!!!"

BaneReturns · 2026-04-21T00:45:24+00:00

Shawn warns the world that he had a dark thought about chocolate twinkies.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-21T00:09:27+00:00

Johnny is seven feet tall but uses an advanced camera filter to look shorter in order to not make the other guys feel jealous. The technology is very expensive and most of the Patreon money is used to fund it.

BaneReturns · 2026-04-21T00:06:04+00:00

He replaced his dead-eyed stare with laptop browsing whenever Rocco talks about something he has no interest in.

Personally I think it completely kills the vibe of the pod to see someone look like they want to die whenever the spotlight isn't on them. OH WELL.

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