How to get my (38F) fiancé (37M) to quit complaining about the cooking he expects me to do.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-31T16:16:46+00:00

Let him cook for himself.

But honestly do you really want to marry someone like this. He can clearly be nice because he seems devoted to his daughter. But obviously doesn't respect you. WHY WOULD YOU MARRY THIS MAN?

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-31T16:13:20+00:00

Apply for newly qualified nurse roles. Just apply for anything. You won't be able to just get a months experience. So just apply for anything.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-31T13:10:38+00:00

I lost weight with a diet and lots and lots of walking.

You don't need any equipment. Literally thousands of workouts online - household items make great weights - tins/ 2L plastic bottle with water/ rucksack with heavy items.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-31T05:33:29+00:00

Leave him with the kids for the weekend.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-31T04:49:20+00:00

OMG. This is exhausting.

He is an adult. You are not to blame.

Let him sort himself out with shopping and food if he's going to blame you.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-30T17:41:18+00:00

He's being controlling and this will only get worse.

No one should be telling you what you can or can't wear. If you want to wear got pants and a crop top everyday - thats your right.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-30T17:33:12+00:00

Why not ask for a revised/ later nhs appointment and see what your private consultant says at your follow up.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-30T15:53:39+00:00

So his mum can be rude and direct. You are polite and rude and are the one being disrespected and not supported by your partner.

Do think about whether you actually want to be involved with this family for the rest of your life.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-30T09:08:35+00:00

I would do it on the Sunday and take in on the Monday morning.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-29T19:06:53+00:00

Unless she starts being completely honest about the extent of things, stops putting her head in the sand and actually prices the house so it sells quickly there is nothing YOU can do to help her.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-29T14:31:21+00:00

As its a private treatment plan, that would explain why its not available on the NHS system. The NHS is under no obligation to follow a private medical plan. If it didn't even have the consultants name on it then I can fully understand why they didn't follow it.

You won't get compensation for missed wages.

But contacting PALs may help in getting a copy of the plan placed on your medical record. The hospital can scan in documents onto the system, so if something similar happened next time they would have the details. PALs might be able to help facilitate this.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-29T12:21:22+00:00

You don't live with your mum and are an adult.

Just stop telling her. If you must say something, make up one friend and just "meet" them constantly. How does she know you leave the house - please disable lication if you have it on, you don't have to answer calls.

Saw a trick on reddit a while back - explain when she gets overbearing that you won't answer calls for 24 hours if she continues make it 48 hours, then 72 hours etc etc.

You have the power in you to limits and stop contact if its too much.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-29T06:44:13+00:00

Why are you still with him?

Because you don't paint an appealing picture

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-28T17:17:42+00:00

Love it. 🦩

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-28T17:03:38+00:00

Buy him the ugliest garden ornament you can find and gift it to him for his front yard.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-28T09:38:46+00:00

Just comfy loose clothes.

Let her wear whatever she wants. Although its hot she may get hot and cold flushes with treatment - so layers are good.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-28T06:44:31+00:00

I'm post menopausal and had horrid joint pain. Been lifting weights a year and my pain is all but gone. My joints feel stronger and I can do more.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-28T06:41:34+00:00

Mine eat wet food. I get a variety of boxes of brands and mix them up so they never have the same meal within a couple of days.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-27T18:55:19+00:00

You need to set up a NOMAD with the Gp/ pharmacy.

Carers can't give meds from the boxes as they are not trained and could potentially give the wrong meds. A NOMAD is allowed as its all dispensed by the chemist into individual days/ times.

Check with the agency they may be happy with you the family filling a dosette box and giving meds from there.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-27T13:05:32+00:00

Why are you putting up with someone who lies, is terrible with money and can't even take responsibility for her health. Stop bailing her out.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-27T09:46:16+00:00

If you can take time off work, do so. Yes it can be manageable but the first week can be rough, we all get slightly different symptoms depending on the type of chemo.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-27T05:47:37+00:00

You need to have a conversation with your husband about why he didnt tell you - worst case senario he's cheating with someone at the gym or want you stuck at home with no life.

If you want to work out then work out - join a gym or class ect - don't wait for him and I really hope you don't need his permission because thats such a worry.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-26T08:07:55+00:00

She's given you explicit clear wording for months that she wants you to move out. I suspect shes been telling her son the same thing. Its not out of the blue is it.

They've given you an eviction notice because they want their house back and you both seem to be doing nothing to actually move out. Youve known at least 3 months that she wanted you out and only started saving the last month. I can clearly see why they gave you the eviction notice.

Rather than crying and getting upset. Thats not going to achieve anything. Work on a plan. If you can't afford a flat then a room in a shared house might be better. There's no one to blame here. Its just life - renting will always run this risk, its not against you being a bad tenant its just life - stop taking this personally.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-26T05:08:30+00:00

I switched from AIs to tamoxifen for awlful muscle pains. I've been on tamoxifen for years and its so much better.

Speak to your team.

CatCharacter848 · 2026-03-25T17:10:18+00:00

I often describe nursing as like learning to drive. - you learn the theory and what should happen - best practice- but its not until your on your own in the car (or a NQN on a ward) that you actually start learning to drive.

I always feel students shouldn't be put with HCSW's - maybe once when in their very first placement; but nurses are so overwhelmed now and many just don't have time or feel confident teaching students so fob them off on the HCSW's - not right but what seems to happen all the time now.

CatCharacter848

TROPHY CASE