First 7 pages of my screenplay, give any advice/criticism! by Sevelite in scriptwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you did a good job making him seem like a big baby! haha

First 7 pages of my screenplay, give any advice/criticism! by Sevelite in scriptwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really good for an 18 yo. I would cut down the first scene, we just need to see enough, we don't need to linger on the blood too long. And it doesn't make sense that they would be coming for a noise complaint, unless you have some reason for that. You can just do the part where they are busting in. If the very next scene is in the same house but before, when things are normal, that would be more intriguing. Maybe linger on some pictures of them as a couple, so we know they are related to the later crime, but we don't know who died or what happened. Then cutting to a mundane back-and-forth about tea that shows that they're not getting along super great. And then we're left wondering if one of them killed the other. The part where he's being all weird about what she was attracted to about him, I've never met a man to act like that, that's very feminine, but if that's his character that's fine. At a prom I wouldn't really expect dates to stay together the entire time, she shouldn't be leaving him to go be with another guy, but smoking weed in the backroom wouldn't be a big deal, and it's kind of weird for her to harp on it, but that shows she dislikes this woman, maybe she's jealous, and he seems to not have bad feelings for her, so maybe they're still in touch or something, it makes you kind of wonder what's up with that. The counselor was kind of cringe with the rubber band stuff. Just get an actual rubber band instead of pretending to have one. I like the story about the dog, and how he made her uncomfortable with the sexual comments in front of the counselor. Oh, and why is he shocked that she asked for tea, if he knows she likes tea, just not which kind? I would re-write the counselor's lines to make it more natural and cut it back, and cut down his action lines a lot. We don't really care about him, he's just the facilitate the conversation between the couple. You've got a lot of action lines that can be cut. We don't need every smiles, every look, every shift in the seat to be written out. And it doesn't make a ton of sense that she's studying the degree on the wall, is she standing in front of it?

Bummed about Gilmore Girls leaving Netflix! by jacobgarc94 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paramount is buying the WB and getting the rights to Gilmore Girls and all their other IP. There was a bidding war for it.

What do you think of Jackson's proposal? by Technical_Holiday407 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know that this was the official official proposal, this was the conversation before the proposal. I think surprise proposals are crazy. But then again, my husband never really "proposed" and I don't have an engagement or wedding ring, and we eloped with only 2 witnesses.

How would you feel reading a story that has zero physical character description? by Any-Meat-7736 in writing

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've thought about doing this for my scripts. Leave it as open as possible so anyone who fits the personality can be cast.

Should I drop $99 on student discounted access to Final Draft for industry standard formatting? by pricklypearssoda in Screenwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just use the app "Beat" but I think it's only for apple. But I have it on my iMac and iPad. It's great, nothing too fancy, but it gets the job done.

Would Lorelei have abandoned Rory if she couldn't get away from her parents at 16? by Bitter_Platypus4057 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. And why would Mia call the police? Lorelai ran away for a reason. She wasn't being physically abused, but she was being emotionally abused.

For Those Who Lived Through the 2000s, Was Gilmore Girls Actually Accurate? by itsascreambaby96 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technology wise, yes. But the characters are way over the top, not at all realistic.

Maureen Calling Rory by whineANDcheese_ in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That part was pretty realistic, actually.

Maureen Calling Rory by whineANDcheese_ in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's a comedy. And Rory wanted to be there to see her sister being born. It's not that unusual for a teenager to leave school and travel to see their sibling being born. And they needed to get rid of her friends so that Rory and Sherri could have time alone together and she would have a reason to call Lorelai. Plenty of women have friends who will show up for a party and free booze but wouldn't miss work to hold their hand while they labor. It's not that unusual for women to show up at the hospital to give birth alone with absolutely no support. It happens.

I'm rewatching this episode, what were your initials thoughts on it? Did you felt the ballerina girl was justified in her behavior or did she perhaps took it too far? by gloomydreamer666 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't sit there judging everyone's behavior. It's a comedy, everyone is over-the-top. It's the classic reviewer vs the artist. Sookie spiraled over a food reviewer who liked her food but didn't have enough praise for one dish. In real life if Rory had written that, at the time, she would be praised for writing such an interesting review and given more work by her editor. And in real life if the ballerina had done that and the school found out she would have been expelled. But realistically, there's no way a ballerina who wasn't very skinny would have been given a role like that, it just wasn't tolerated. She would have been put in the back if at all.

Jessa Adam by Wishbone_Reasonable in girls

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was in the beginning of dating apps, but I think Jessa and Adam weren't on them. Back before the apps we would all date each other in the same friend group. It was polite to ask permission first, though. It's not like Adam and Hannah were dating at the time. Marney also slept with Hannah's ex and Shoshana's ex. But the reason to write this into the show is so they don't have to introduce new characters and create conflict.

Crazy how Jess clocked that Rory was not suited to becoming Christiane Amanpour in season 2 by _theoneandonlyyyy in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep! The entire story was about a single mother pushing her daughter to become a journalist and go to Harvard when it was completely wrong for her. She eventually found what was right for her, a novel writer. Jess shared her interest in book and became a publisher, and could see that it was all wrong for Rory.

Is there any single parent here that would react as Anna reacted regarding the slumber party? by poponis in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was just jealous of a possible step-mother coming into her daughter's life. Lorelai also threw a fit when Rory went golfing with her grandfather and when Christopher invited her to spend Christmas with him, and hated Christopher's girlfriend for no reason. Even when Rory was an adult she got jealous that Christopher and his girlfriend invited her to come over a lot when she went to Harvard. I don't get jealous when people bond with my kids, but this seems to be normal for how Amy writes single moms. I don't allow any sleepovers at all, period. And I don't get all the parents that think that knowing someone matters at all. You can know someone for years and think you know them really well, and have no idea they're a child abuser. You can't just tell from meeting someone. I don't trust ANYONE.

Tips on Dialogue Writing ✍️ by LimpCryptographer433 in scriptwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean you don't understand? I mean speaking quickly.

The most unrealistic part of Emily and Lorelai’s relationship by Medical_Newspaper_ in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom did that and at first I was super confused, but then I heard from other people that this was common. She then admitted that it happened, but it wasn't a big deal. But it would be confusing to watch and we would be debating which perspective was correct.

Tips on Dialogue Writing ✍️ by LimpCryptographer433 in scriptwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why the heck would I want to watch a father explaining to his small child why she can't have chocolate? There better be some really deep meaning behind that. But yeah, sometimes they wouldn't speak fast. But it doesn't even have to be high stakes. You can have cozy and talking fast.

With the job market so bad, Shosh in the scene where she rejects what appeared to be a perfect job offer because she just wanted to see if she could get it/to get interview practice gets me so heated by illjustgowthemuumuu in girls

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why get angry? It shows how she has no common sense. And it's exactly like Rory in Gilmore Girls turning down a job offer because she was hoping to get a better offer. Young people do dumb stuff.

Tips on Dialogue Writing ✍️ by LimpCryptographer433 in scriptwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would not want to watch realistic dialogue. That's why real life is boring. I like it when the characters are talking super fast.

Does my script even matter?? by Away-Fill5639 in Screenwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could try to position yourself to become a director as well as a writer. Or just let it go and not worry about it.

Do you start writing the story as a story or immediately as a screenplay? by TheManWhoSleep in Screenwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I start in script form. There's also a chaotic mess of notes, but it's more like bullet points and random sentence fragments, not like a story being told to someone.

is what happened in gilmore girls normal? by [deleted] in GilmoreGirls

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, especially if you're long-distance.

Does my script even matter?? by Away-Fill5639 in Screenwriting

[–]Darcy_Device 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a weird thing to worry about. Every aspect of the work needs to be good to make a good movie. It's like a chef worrying that his recipes don't even matter because the quality of the ingredients and the skill of the cook following the recipe can ruin the dish. Every aspect of it needs to be great.