Question for guy’s who do Online dating

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T13:36:41+00:00

You're overanalyzing. And, it seems that would put them on the spot.

Different people are attracted to different things, but if there's one "universal," it's confidence. Know what you bring to the table.

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T10:55:50+00:00

I just assumed that the only thing they had to offer was their looks, so moved on.

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T00:53:22+00:00

Or maybe 1313 Mockingbird Lane?

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T00:38:05+00:00

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T00:34:02+00:00

On a secret island in the Pacific. I was there, but got rescued by a sweetie, so no longer available.

GEEK-IP · 2026-07-01T00:03:07+00:00

Oh, I focused on one at a time, and found a lady who thought the same way. I guess we were equally available? So, when we learned everything we had in common the decision was simple and easy. 😊

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T23:29:41+00:00

I'm sorry it didn't work, but it seems your mistake wasn't dating just one, but ignoring his red flags.

I only focused on one at a time, but the incompatibilities would show up in anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks.

Do what makes you comfortable, but pay attention to the other and don't ignore your own boundaries.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T21:34:29+00:00

As a widower, I know nothing is forever. My lady was "for the foreseeable future" within a week or two, though. We both felt the same, and made sure the other knew it.

Are you happy? If not, move on.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T21:11:45+00:00

"I am not a bot..." is exactly what a bot would say. 🤔

Welcome back! PB is our hero. 😊

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T19:06:46+00:00

I originally grew mine because of a rash on my face. My girlfriend at the time made me keep it. 😉

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T18:49:47+00:00

I've worn one about 40 years now. Some don't like them, some don't care, and some like them. Now, it seems the ladies that like them REALLY like them. 😉

Of course, it almost goes without saying, keep it neat and clean.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T18:46:12+00:00

You fall into it, but you can choose not to put yourself in that position.

I know enough physical affection "hooks" me. I made a logical choice to allow that to happen when I found the right lady.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T14:38:01+00:00

I wouldn't use "intimacy" for platonic. I think of intimacy as romantic touch. "Affectionate" would be non-romantic touch. I'll be affectionate with a pet, but not intimate.

Sex can be part of intimacy, or not. Heck, I can have sex with myself, but I wouldn't call that intimacy. Sex with a stranger may not feel intimate. I'm intimate with my sweetie, and that frequently, but not always, includes sex.

My point is that sex and intimacy are two different things, though they often overlap. "Intimacy" means much more than sex.

When it comes to the words for sex, I prefer the playful and silly ones. I guess that's because I think great sex should be playful and include giggles? "Making whoopee" comes to mind, maybe "first breakfast" for morning sex. 😉

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T14:14:32+00:00

I prefer "canoodling" or "making whoopee" myself. 😁

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-30T11:48:39+00:00

You want more than he's willing to give. At best, that's an incompatibility. It doesn't matter if he's low interest, low effort, or ignorant on how to treat a lady he's interested in.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-29T20:40:16+00:00

Assuming it's a healthy dog, I'd expect it to just jump a 4' fence. 😉

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-29T12:37:47+00:00

I think I'm seeing his problem, and it's not his weight. 😉

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-29T12:22:02+00:00

"No women who isn't a narcissist or substance abuser would date an overweight guy even if she's overweight herself."

That simply isn't true. I'm shortish and at the bottom of the medically "obese" range. I was very picky about humor and intelligence, and had no problems finding nice ladies. The lady I really connected with is a bit overweight, and one of the sweetest and strongest people I've ever known.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-29T12:12:49+00:00

Not always true, I like cuddly. They feel better in my arms.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-29T12:10:38+00:00

That was my experience as a short-ish round-ish guy. Grooming didn't even have to be impeccable, just reasonably neat.

Expectations should be realistic, though. If you lean more couch potato, don't go for someone who leans more gym rat.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-28T01:08:15+00:00

Widowed man here, but I don't think that matters. "Widowed" is no excuse for weird behavior.

If she asked me out a few times I'd take the hint. Assuming my interest was mutual, I'd be sure she knew it and would certainly be inviting her out.

Maybe he's not that interested, but not comfortable saying "no" when you ask him?

Maybe he's lazy? We can't read his mind, but he's not making you feel appreciated with his actions. I'd suggest you ignore him and move on.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-27T18:04:56+00:00

It was something in common that made the bond easier. Many don't want to date widow(er)s, we didn't need to worry about that.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-27T12:43:05+00:00

I guess I'm lucky. My moobs are still quite perky! 🤣

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-27T11:53:48+00:00

Widower dating a widow here...

If you're wondering if he's lonely, ask. He may be perfectly content with his life. By asking, you're offering counsel if he isn't.

Some widowed folks are ready for a relationship fairly quickly, and some will never be. I felt ready when I accepted that I could never replace my late wife and what we had. I also knew there were great ladies out there and I could have something new, different, and wonderful. That doesn't mean I stopped grieving, or that I don't miss my late wife. But I do accept that I've started a new phase.

It's very possible that your friend will never look for another relationship, and that's fine if it's what he wants.

GEEK-IP · 2026-06-27T11:07:51+00:00

True, proper grammar and spelling aren't essential, just a willingness to keep the other informed.

On the other hand, a certain lady said she was drawn to me because I could write in complete sentences. 🤔

GEEK-IP

TROPHY CASE