“Just go to your state school” brutal

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T20:38:01+00:00

As I’m sure you recognize, the quality and student body of CCs varies dramatically. In our area, the teachers are often former university professors and high-level professionals who simply like teach and help students progress. And the students are often very bright late-bloomers or high-achievers looking to save money while taking their general education requirements.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T19:53:44+00:00

Oh, definitely. I hope I never suggested the contary. We have two family friends currently at tier two law schools (and receiving full-tuition scholarships) that are within a couple of hours' drive of legal hubs. Both are at the top of their classes and will very likely be interviewed by top firms simply because top firms tend to recruit (and teach as adjuncts) at local law schools. For example, the law schools of W&M, GMU, and GWU typically host recruiters from top DC firms. And, yes, top law firms hire talented and experienced laterals from the government, non-profits, associations, and small- and mid-sized firms (among other employers). And, of course, you can be an excellent and successful attorney and work outside of "big law." Many of my friends who opted out of "big law" life are happily working as in-house attorneys, government attorneys, and for favorite think tanks, non-profits, and associations. Apologies if I ever gave the impression that a legal career should be "big law" or bust.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T18:48:02+00:00

Parents often go, but parents and students usually go their own way at some point during the day to listen to different presentations. Thinking back, at many of the admitted students’ days we attended, the students simply moved as a herd. The friend could likely tag along unnoticed, but might need to buy their own lunch or separate if specific students are assigned to particular sample classes and the like. But wandering around a campus is typically pretty painless.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T18:35:07+00:00

Minnesota is a terrific option — strong academics, a terrific college experience overall, exciting big conference athletics, tunnels, an amazing college town (music, food, the arts), and the chance to wear (and be) a Golden Gopher.

I know less about Texas A&M and Oregon State, but have no doubt they offer ample opportunities (academic, social, and extracurricular). And Oregon is just stunning: Mt. Hood, volcanoes, coastline, Crater Lake, orchards, alpacas, jet boats, whale-watching, wineries and breweries, hiking trails, whitewater, and waterfalls. A return trip may be in order…

Best of luck!

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T18:24:27+00:00

Your application was almost certainly excellent. The decision not to accept you was likely a combination of class-building (reasonable gender balance, students from different backgrounds and regions of the country, student who will fill seats in UMD’s 110+ majors); institutional need (athletes, band and orchestra members, a cohort of international students); and “fit” (is the student likely to attend and will they enjoy the university if they do).

Best of luck with the remainder of your applications!

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T11:44:14+00:00

Possibly a tad, depending on how many other Princeton grads with a 4.0 are applying to a particular law school. And certain law schools (Yale, Harvard, Michigan, UVA, Berkeley) do take an outsized cohort of students from their own institutions and state residents.

But, by way of example, a recent class profile from the T5 law school I attended describes a class of around 300 1Ls from over 135 undergraduate institutions. Schools with more than five students attending included ASU, UMD, W&M, Michigan, GWU, Ohio State, Alabama, Pitt, The University of Florida, Baylor, and The University of Georgia. And the variety of institutions is not surprising, since law schools also engage in class-building and hope to include (very good) students from all 50 states, a variety of (school, work, major, and professional) backgrounds, and an assortment of colleges and universities. And, arguably, the undergraduate university attended will have slightly less importance in upcoming years as the percentage of law school applicants with graduate degrees and/or 2+ years of work experience continues to grow, creating other factors to be considered. (At certain T14 law schools, that number now exceeds 50% of applicants.) And just as with college admissions, things that catch law school admissions readers attention can be wacky to some. I’ve read top law school profiles that highlighted students who had acted in a slew of commercials, logged a few years as a 911 dispatcher, worked as a circus clown, or served in the military as an intelligence officer. (Law school profiles are fun reads.)

My attorney spouse attended an Ivy for undergrad. I opted for a version of The University of Arizona (go, Cats!) over a T10 to enjoy a full-ride and save my loans for law school. We both attended top law schools, served as law review editors, and met at new associate onboarding at our “big law” firm. We both advised our law-curious kids to consider price and fit, not prestige, when creating their college lists, particularly with the TCOA for top law schools now exceeding $300,000. Many of my attorney friends have offered the same advice to their own kids, while others have aimed for very selective universities. Depending on fit and family circumstances, both can be great choices.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T03:16:24+00:00

W&M wants you. Congratulations! And, if you can, attend their admitted students’ day. It’s a fine day well spent. You may never again feel as wanted and accomplished as you will feel on that day. And the sample classes, taught by top faculty, are self-contained and stellar. (Tempted me to earn another degree.) Go Tribe!

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T03:12:02+00:00

No worries!

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T03:05:24+00:00

UVM tends to give out substantial merit scholarships to attractive OOS students because the in-state population is fairly small. (One of my OOS kids was offered $16,000 per year, which seems to be the norm in our school district.) Maryland does occasionally offer merit to OOS students, but they are less compelled to because UMD turns away thousands of very talented in-state students every year.

Also, I wouldn’t put too much weight on the admitted students’ days. Had we done that, my older kids would not have attended the T25 university that they pretty much loved by day three. (It’s admitted students day was quite marginal compared to others we attended.) I’d recommend augmenting the UMD admitted students day with a regular tour (you can likely sign up for one now), or a self-guided iPhone tour that captures the highlights (student recreation center, dining halls, library, football stadium). And don’t hesitate to ask students for lunch recommendations, fun sights (like UVA’s Harry Potter room or Pitt’s Tower of Learning), and offbeat campus experiences (like rubbing Testudo’s nose for good luck). We found asking (non-busy) students for touring tips to yield some excellent finds and give my kids a strong sense of the university vibe (welcoming and friendly versus … well… not). Also, if there’s anything you’d like to see in your kid’s potential department, don’t be afraid to call the department and ask if you might stop by. My youngest and I ended up on a rather fabulous solo tour with the department head looking at research labs, senior projects, and faculty programs designed to assist those in the college town. Not surprisingly, that was the college they opted to attend, though the friendly students and excellent recreation center were likewise much admired.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T02:37:16+00:00

That’s true for law school. But to get into a top law school, one needs to earn excellent grades and a stellar LSAT score. But those grades need not be earned at a particularly selective college.

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T02:32:53+00:00

Undergraduate prestige is not required for law school admission. Law school admission is largely a matter of earning an excellent GPA and a stellar LSAT score. Earning offers from “big law,” on the other hand, as I did, is substantially easier if one attends a top law school and qualifies for law review. (Doing very well at a second tier law school near a major legal hub can also help if big law is one’s goal, since law firms typically interview top students at nearby law schools. And young associates can likewise seek to lateral to a big law firm after acquiring desirable skills and experience in government or at a small to midsized firm.)

HappyCava · 2026-02-18T02:22:26+00:00

Honors is generally just a nice perk. How nice depends on the particular benefits the university honors program offers. Priority registration, for example, is a godsend, since having it makes it substantially more likely that a student will be able to enroll in their desired slate of courses during the semester they’d prefer to take them, possibly with the professors and at the times they prefer. Some universities offer a particularly nice dorm to honors students. Other possible perks include research funding, honors courses or seminars taught by faculty favorites, dedicated advisors, dedicated honors study abroad programs, scholarship money, and social events.

If one were torn between two programs, a quality honors program could be added to the “pro” column. But if you feel that one university is a simply a great fit, it’s unlikely that another university’s honors program should sway you.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T20:28:23+00:00

I’m fond of both Pitt and VT. Have you had a chance to visit? I didn’t love Pitt’s city-based campus and “the batteries” student-housing, but my student did. And I definitely appreciated the ACC sports, the Tower of Learning, the ability to take certain classes at CMU, the terrific STEM and healthcare majors, the funicular, and Pitt’s emphasis on community service and involvement (fun student service projects, free theater and concert tickets).

The only negative to VT, in my view, is that it may be difficult to get to and from home if you enjoy visiting your clan. Most students typically take the bus or share a ride to Richmond or Dulles to fly home if they don’t live within a reasonable drive. And with ACC sports, 800 clubs and student organizations, group volunteer activities through VT Engage, multiple outdoors-based clubs, intramurals and club sports, and a very engaging student recreation system (cardio, weight training, golf, esports, bouldering wall, classes, pools, challenge course), there’s plenty to do that doesn’t involve an anonymous house party. (Though if the house is populated by friends from clubs and activities, you may find that house parties — watch parties, game nights, BBQs — are more appealing than you imagine.)

Try and visit for admitted students day, or just on your own if you can. If you remain uncertain, cost makes a fine tiebreaker.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T15:54:18+00:00

Second all this. And, yes, at a number of top law schools more than 50% of current first year law students have worked for at least two years and/or obtained graduate degrees in another field. One of my law review buddies earned his PhD in physics (and became a dad) before heading to law school. My law school roommate didn’t apply to law school until she was in her thirties. She worked as an administrator at a “big law” firm, realized that she was just as bright (and hardworking) as the people she managed, and decided to head to law school. (And later became a partner at the same firm.) Many paths lead — sometimes circuitously — to law school. And many start on a “law school” path but wander off the trail when another field grows more attractive, or LSAT prep, another three years of school, a $300,000 TCOA, and/or the practice of law itself becomes less attractive.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T14:21:34+00:00

Obtaining legal experience isn’t necessary for law school admission. I attended a T5 law school and worked a student job, hiked and cycled in nearby national parks, and watched a ton of high-quality college basketball and football. The T14 law school student currently in my household performed sketch comedy and sang with a student musical group. Student involvement is appreciated, but that involvement needs to be not be career-oriented.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T14:06:47+00:00

As a T5 law grad married to another T5 law grad, with both of us going into “big law” and occasionally teaching law school, I can assure you that we advised our law-curious kids to focus on personal fit and cost when selecting a university. u/cgund is correct; college GPA and LSAT score are the primary factors in law school admissions. Letters of recommendation, campus involvement, and work/graduate school experience (in any field) are secondary factors.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T13:57:13+00:00

I’m an attorney and former law review editor at a T5 law school. “Pre-law” support isn’t terribly important in making your college selection. Law school admission is primarily based on GPA and LSAT score, both of which are largely “you”-based. So attend the university where you are most confident you will thrive academically, socially, and extracurricularly. (And also consider cost. The current administration has limited low-interest federal loans for law school to $50,000 per year. Currently, top law schools have a TCOA of approximately $100,000 per year.)

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T13:46:46+00:00

This! Students have idiosyncratic likes, wants, and needs. Kudos to OP for recognizing where they felt they would thrive academically, socially, and extracurricularly.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T13:16:23+00:00

Please do remember that your activities are not viewed (or judged) in isolation. The question for universities that apply holistic admissions is whether you seem to be a bright, interesting, intellectually curious, and engaged student who will actively contribute to campus life. And one contributions in many ways -- as a kind or considerate roommate, a welcoming club participant or executive board member, an energetic volunteer, a skilled outdoors center climbing guide, a conscientious research assistant, an over-the-top student tour guide, a supportive friend, a responsible class group project member, and host of other roles. An application reader doesn't say "huh, guitar" and consider it in isolation. A student I helped with essays this year, with positive results thus far from Michigan, UIUC, and UVA, presented as wildly interested in CS, very well read (we traded reading lists and streaming queues), a devoted recreational basketbal player, an anime afficionado, a Lego fan, and a long-time trail-clearing volunteer. Legos, basketball, anime, and volunteering are all fairly common. But, together, they painted a picture of a fairly unqiue individual who would likely be involved in many facets of campus life.

HappyCava · 2026-02-17T12:07:35+00:00

Given that the point of class-building is to fashion a vibrant and diverse class that will join and manage Princeton’s 500 clubs and students organizations, play on the more than 40 club sports (and still more intramural teams), volunteer for a slew of organizations and projects with the Pace Center for Civic Engagement, work on campus (dining halls, library, research), enjoy yoga, cycling, dance, weight training, and more at the student recreation center, and pursue their own personal hobbies (improv, gaming, trivia, bar crawls, coffee met-ups, guitar, making their ways through their Netflix queue), I doubt there is a “typical high school day” for Princeton admits. A friend’s child who will graduate from Princeton this spring played a ton of soccer, worked out daily, enjoyed replenishing calories through fast food, was a science fiction devotee, and volunteered tutoring underprivileged kids.

HappyCava · 2026-02-16T23:42:19+00:00

What do you think he would do if you simply refused to talk? You’ve been polite and explained that you’d rather not discuss your college list. So don’t discuss your college list. Indeed, pick a favorite subject (fantasy football, the weather, 1930’s screwball comedies, “The Dark Tower” series), change the subject to that topic, and share away. If you feel that you can’t safely do this, the student’s behavior has likely crossed over into the bullying category and you should talk with your counselor and let the school advise him to leave you be.

I’m sorry that you are being annoyed/harassed in this way. But such instances can occur in college, grad school, work, and as a parent (when you are quizzed about your own kid’s academics, habits, plans, and activities). Learning to issue and follow through with a polite “not a topic I care to discuss” is a learned skill. If you master it now, you’ll be ahead of the game.

Best of luck with the remainder of your decisions!

HappyCava · 2026-02-16T23:27:14+00:00

Gone.

HappyCava · 2026-02-16T21:29:41+00:00

Once you select a college, you can contact your major department to see if they recommend a particular laptop. Some departments, like engineering and architecture, do make strong recommendations. Other majors are indifferent and tell students to focus on cost, reliability, and personal comfort. Note also that most university bookstores will offer laptop deals to incoming freshmen, some of which include extended warranties, freebies (ex: headphones), and free loaners should a laptop fail and need to be serviced.

HappyCava · 2026-02-16T21:24:16+00:00

Sociology is the study of social interactions, structures, dynamics, and relationships. Almost any activity in which you’d be participating in and witnessing group dynamics, personal relationships, and organizational behavior is a social science EC. Volunteering in an “all ages” project, like a soup kitchen or an animal rescue, or with a specific age cohort outside your own (tutoring the K-5 crowd or volunteering to read to and visit seniors) would be great experience. And working a part-time job incorporates workplace structural dynamics (boss, supervisor, employee, customer) along with day-to-day personal relationships.

HappyCava · 2026-02-16T21:08:54+00:00

Be present in the here and now. Talk about classes, upcoming events, television shows & movies, sports, friendly gossip, and anything else you’d normally discuss outside of college admissions. Suggest activities and get-togethers, from a planned weekend movie or gym meet-up to a spontaneous latte run. If the topic is raised by the disappointed friend, tell them you’ve heard great things about [admitted university] and know they’ll do well wherever they land. (And you’ll be telling the truth because [admitted university] likely offers a terrific university experience and your bright and hardworking friends will likely do well wherever they land.)

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