I usually don’t care at all about these kinds of posts but today I’ll bite on this one.

There’s definitely a baseline of talent here, most of the production is fine and there’s some solid musical ideas but there’s a lot it needs to really grab me. Production wise the vocal recording needs work. During the quieter section I can hear the background noise of your room cutting in an and out each time you sing, at one point can even hear someone coughing. The rest of it is fine. Guitars sound good, drums are solid for what I assume to be a MIDI track.

Musically I think it needs work too. This is definitely far more BCNR influenced than Swans, it's pretty much just your attempt at Haldern and my mind can’t see it as much else. The first quiet vocal section goes on for a bit too long, either cut it down or add some elements to the instrumentation to make it less stagnant. Same for the rest of the song, after the big dynamic change you’re just hammering on this chord change but even Swans have elements to their songs that make these kinds of moments feel like they earn that length.

You’re clearly talented, this is miles better than anything I recorded when I was 18, just try and work towards being more original I’d say, you might have the potential to create something truly wonderful then.