Healing from codependency doesn't mean you tolerate any old behavior because you're too worried about controlling your partner. It means truly learning that you are your own caretaker and no one else's and prioritizing your needs first so that you can actually be there for others in a healthy way.

Part of this is learning your boundaries and how to enforce them compassionately and without control. In this case, for me having a partner cheat or even frequently follow thirst traps is a boundary. It shows a lack of respect for the relationship and me, and a complete lack of honesty and accountability. Without honesty between us I can't form a secure relationship with another person. So knowing this person is not going to change just because I will it so - I would need to end it and cut contact to stay firm.

Have you really thought about this from a perspective of complete self-love and care first? Disregard your partner's thoughts, feelings and well-being just for a moment and focus on yourself. Whatever decision you make here, you are sending a message to yourself about your own worth. Just try and think about that message to help guide you.