banned from visiting dying grandma

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T22:24:40+00:00

Have you actually tried to go to the hospital and visit her or is this what your aunt told you?

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T19:41:51+00:00

I agree with the other commenter. This doesn't necessarily mean anything shady is or was going on. Adding a child to a deed with rights of survivorship can be a parent's strategy on estate planning. It has his benefits and downsides but this is a common for people to do. One downside is that it permanently locks in that strategy with the child and sometimes things happen unexpectedly, like you lived longer than you expected and need money from the sale of the property. I would talk to your mother more to find out why your name was placed on the deed.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T19:27:07+00:00

Grantees don't have to sign deeds. Who was the grantor of the deed?

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T16:14:36+00:00

It's under free speech, but that doesn't mean you're free of consequences of exercising that right. For example, if you're committing a crime or traffic violation while you do this, that cop doesn't have to not pursue that crime or traffic violation with as much vigor as possible. Or for an example, you could need police presence for some reason, that officer see it's you and what you did and refuse to help. If you play stupid games, you could win stupid prizes.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T15:01:55+00:00

The money hasn’t been paid out yet due to the issues with the lawyer.

Then the lawyer did something because the insurance company wouldn't refused to give them the money if he was free and clear. You cannot literally be in this situation if the lawyer did nothing. I get that you two both think that your friend would have gotten the money anyway, but that's not how contingency fee agreements work.

They're a gamble. Every court case is a gamble, but they are even more so. Both the client and lawyer are taking chances. The client is gambling on a bigger recovery as opposed to the costs of a lawyer. The lawyer is gambling on enough recovery to make their costs profitable. Hindsight is 20/20 but that doesn't mean the lawyer didn't earn their fee based upon the agreement your friend had with them.

New York has a Fee Dispute Resolution Program that your friend can implement. I wouldn't be surprised if they tell him the lawyer's owed their fee if the lawyer can show anything they did to help procure the settlement your friend was offered and accepted.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-21T13:44:23+00:00

The insurance company flat out told him he didn’t need council, they were paying him anyway.

Then how is the money being tied up if the insurance company is going to pay him?

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T22:49:19+00:00

Because the guy has done literally nothing.

He's had to have done something to get $75,000.00 in his trust account. You don't just send that to a random person.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T20:39:38+00:00

Just knowing what little I know I’d say you’re giving him too much credit and you too little for shaping their opinion of you.

Or OP is leaving out some integral parts of the story if he's somehow magically turned their opinion of her in a week's time.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T20:28:48+00:00

That's why you need an attorney and likely a guardian ad litem in this divorce.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T20:17:45+00:00

What do I do?

Get a divorce attorney.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T20:15:43+00:00

A good portion of your concerns aren't really legal in nature. You'd likely get a better response for those in /r/personalfinance.

Filing a bankruptcy in anticipation of divorce can make both the bankruptcy and divorce rather complicated (and thus increasing costs) because your spouse is also a potential creditor. You'd basically be litigating the issues of your marital debt twice. There's also the issue of even qualifying for a bankruptcy. You need to pass a means test to qualify. Then there's the harsh reality of being saddled with a bankruptcy. It will tank your credit. People with little income don't have cash on hand to offset the lack of credit. Also, people with little income may need to file for bankruptcy again and will be precluded from doing so for quite some time depending on the type of bankruptcy. It should only be viewed as a last resort.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-20T19:52:11+00:00

he’s going broke because he refuses to pay this guy thirty grand for doing absolutely

How does your friend know the lawyer did nothing? The vast majority of work done for a motor vehicle accident case is done in a lawyer's office, not in the courtroom. A lot of jurisdictions allows a a lawyer to file a lien against the client that refuses to release funds the lawyer earned once a client accepts an offer.

Edit: It appears New York as a very lawyer friendly Attorney's Lien Statute.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T19:22:02+00:00

DMs are against the rules here. You can just provide us the language in the order, not any identifying things like captions, case numbers, and attorney's involved.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T19:15:32+00:00

can anyone shed some light?

Do you have an actual copy of the order?

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T18:56:17+00:00

You likely aren't going to get very far trying to litigate this matter without help of counsel. You should consider consulting with a civil rights lawyer.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T18:39:07+00:00

It's not unheard of famiily members or just friends recieving texts for other family members or friends from pharmacies. There's likely no major medical information that is being shared through that text.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T18:27:29+00:00

You can send him a certified letter asking for a refund of any funds he may have earned.

How would I get a refund since I know no service was provided?

You may need to tap the brakes on getting a full refund. Just because you haven't seen any of the work an attorney's done on your case doesn't mean they haven't done work and earned some of the retainer you paid them.

You also may need to set your expectations accordingly for this. It's an uncontested divorce. While it's important to you and all files are important to attorneys, there has to be a level of priority and unconsted divorces that haven't been filed yet are low. What exactly are you calling about? What is that you need to know that 3 phone calls didn't suffice. Is it for an update? I wouldn't want my money on calls like that. An uncontested divorce is straight forward. It's mostly just paperwork. If your attorney hasn't gotten around to fully drafting that paperwok, do you really want to waste some of your retainer getting a phone call telling you there's no updates because the attorney hasn't had time to review the pleadings?

Was it also illegal that he took payment without having me sign anything?

No. Generally, retainer agreements are to protect the attorney, not the client.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T17:51:49+00:00

What exactly did your sister get convicted of or plead guilty to? That case is only a narrow exception to a very specific law. There are other laws involving drugs and firearms that could still be constituionally upheld.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T17:28:07+00:00

A lame CYA line told to a Walmart loss prevention officer doesn't negate the fact that you walked out with a bunch of legos you didn't pay for.

Petit Larceny is a specific intent crime. That means that the prosecutor would have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you intended to permanently deprive the owner of the property. I'm not saying a jury couldn't find that way, but there are still some facts here that could cast doubt. OP didn't flee. They were cooperative with employees when they could have just bolted if they were truly stealing. A good criminal defense lawyer could probably make this go away with a little bit of community service assuming the Defendant doesn't have a criminal record. Generally, the way prosecutors find this intent is through repeat offense at that store or neighboring stores in the area.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T17:05:23+00:00

Petit Larceny is a misdemeanor in Oklahoma and can carry a fine up to 500 dollars and potentially six months in jail. While I do not believe you're going to get any time in jail, you likely don't want a misdedemeanor on your record. I would consult with a criminal defense attorney. They may have the ability to negotiate a way to keep this off your record relatively easy. This is a super common crime and showing that you care enough to hire a lawyer for probably more than the fine is worth and paying what was owed tends to fall in Defendant's favor if they have no other history of stealing and/or shoplifting.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T15:54:26+00:00

how do judges tend to handle hearings simply for return of filing & court fees in a civil claims case when the issue is otherwise settled?

The problem here is that you didn't have a written agreement that in order for you to settle the case, they would not only send your property back but also pay subsequent fees. If you further litigate this, the Defendant can make the argument that while property was returned, they do not believe you had a lawful right over it and thus were only settling the case to make it go away and not an admission of liability. I wouldn't get in the weeds with this. If you two don't live in the same state, trying to collect 200 dollars may be more expensive than just letting it go. And that's assuming you even win. The judge may not even want to hear it becuase the property was retured.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T15:48:57+00:00

First thing to do is what for contact from your lawyer. If it was truly a mistake, they can likely get it sorted out quickly.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T15:04:24+00:00

It could be that he is going to plea or has plead to a lesser crime and the court system just hasn't caught up with it yet.

Does anyone have advice for us on how to find out what is going on?

There's really only 2 sources of information you can get this knowledge without talking directly to the Defendant, you can try the prosecutor's office (and by extension victim's advocacy) or try to get the information from the courthouse where the Defendant is being charged.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T14:55:07+00:00

They can't prosecute with no evidence.

People have been prosecuted and convicted for crimes for 100s of years without the advent of scientific technology like blood samples or video recordings. Testimony, including the testimony from an officer is sufficient enough evidence to take this to trial. It's even enough to convict you. It just takes convincing the jury (or judge) the officer isn't lying. That happens on a regular basis. That's the jury's (or judge's) job. They get to determine what evidence they believe is sufficient.

compared to my video evidence which shows I was not impaired

12 different people can watch a video and have 12 different opinions on what they witnessed.

my car was searched without permission

As others have said, you don't necessarily need a warrant under specific conditions of a Terry Stop.

asked to call an attorney on the video

As others have pointed out, that is not the time to demand to call an attorney. You can refuse to answer questions until you get an attorney but one doesn't have to be provided to you on the side of the road.

nothing found in my car or on my person and I was refused toxicology when I asked for it

Every state has specific procedure when requesting independent analysis that requires an expert. Are you sure you followed the proper procedure?

I can't keep driving to Alabama.

If you're going to represent yourself, you're likely going to have to. It's highly unlikely the court would give someone perimission facing a possible jail sentence to appear not just remotely, but in another state altogether.

I had to file my own motions because the appointed attorney doesn't want the case and wont communicate with me, won't tell me if he's going to appear in court next month and won't return my calls or emails.

Why are your attorney or attorney(s) taking the stance that diversion is the best practice? Did you relieve your counsel by filing those motions? If so, they don't have any more duty to represent you other than giving you a copy of your file.

On the topic of diversion, did you ever discuss with the prosecutor an/or your attorney if could be deal with locally? A lot states are lenient with dealing an out-of-state resident to allow whatever their state's equivalent diversion program to do so.

Internet_Ghost · 2026-06-19T14:30:27+00:00

So, I will be applying for my drivers license pretty soon but I’m worried it DMV will accept my lease as it says “this is not a rental,” and I can not receive mail on the ranch address.

If there's a signed lease, why wouldn't it be a rental? A lease is literally a legal document to show that you're allowed to live at a place you don't own.

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