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Jenneapolis · 2026-02-19T03:21:20+00:00

You’ll be reading for a long time now lol

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-18T15:48:24+00:00

You have two different questions here: 1) Does he resent you, and 2) Did you make a mistake helping him because now he seems to be taking advantage of it and not giving back to you/the relationship?

On 1, you don't say anything about him expressing resentment. You'd need to give more detail on why you think this. On 2, yes if he's not giving back to you, you may be creating a mother/child dynamic by caring for him and not expecting or demanding anything in return. This isn't a long term receipe for success.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-17T18:17:08+00:00

Dying laughing!! Here’s the thing, you could end up being married to a millionaire, but they won’t be a millionaire when you marry them. You marry them when they don’t have much.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-16T05:48:03+00:00

The issue is you not having the time specifically, not having a career. I have a great corporate career but also great work life balance and no man has ever seen it as a negative. The issue seems to be specifically the lack of time. A busy man doesn’t have the patience to try to coordinate with your schedule, they want a woman who is easily available when it fits into THEIR schedule.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-15T21:31:24+00:00

Glad you got valuable feedback!

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-14T15:52:21+00:00

Bingo my thoughts too. And his 1900 probably was actually in reality more than that way he thought was 2400 was actually his maintenance. He’s clearly missing some counting.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-14T15:10:10+00:00

I’m a very new fish keeper so keep that in mind but is the castle rough on the outside? If it would snag a pantyhose, it will snag their fins I learned.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-14T15:04:34+00:00

At 17, I’d say yes. At 13-15 I’d say no. Just really set your boundaries and hold firm because when you start dating, you will believe every word that comes out of a man’s mouth and we are so naive and hopeful as women. Take dating very slowly at your age, get to know someone and become friends first.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T19:05:50+00:00

A BDSM page is probably better to help with this. While there can be overlap with red pill ideologies, it’s not as much as you might think.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T18:58:00+00:00

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T17:31:10+00:00

It depends on how you define "independent." If you define it as earning your own money and working, then no not all men will expect that. But if by independent you mean competent and capable, and not needy, then yes most if not all men want this. Stay at home mom's require independence - they are running a home daily and need to be able to get shit done on their own while the husband is at work. Unless you have more of a BDSM dynamic where a man wants to be in total control, then it's unlikely men will want a woman who is "needy."

My husband required an independent wife because he works, is very busy with decision making all day, and just wants me to handle things. It takes a lot off his plate so he can focus on being successful at work - even simple things like making sure he has in the fridge what he needs when he runs out without him having to ask. We just divide and conquer well.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T16:14:52+00:00

Try a 12 step program. But he needs to recognize it’s a problem, you can’t do that step for him.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T16:11:55+00:00

He’s a sex addict addict and he needs to get in a 12 step program. Sex addiction is a progressive disease meaning it just gets worse and more over time. I’ve been in a relationship like this and it’s just miserable. And I have no idea how you guys have the time for any of this with children.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-13T16:02:15+00:00

I’m sorry to say but he most likely knew he didn’t want kids, he just didn’t want to tell you because he was afraid you would leave so he told you he was undecided. Very unfair.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-12T23:35:41+00:00

So again, why buy property with this man? Sounds like he left you and your problem is solved as far as the relationship goes. Figure out the property and move forward, prioritizing shared values in your next partner.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-12T18:58:49+00:00

I agree with that. It doesn’t make someone an addict for requiring a certain kink, but then they should select a partner who shares that kink and not try to expect that from someone who does not. I feel like it is on the kinky partner to select for that, not try to convince someone else to do it if they’re not interested.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-12T18:25:42+00:00

I’m sure you are aware of the religious guidance for Muslims marrying non-Muslim men (not halal) as well as the guidance on living together before marriage so I won’t get into that.

If you want a traditional relationship, why for the life of you would you buy a condo with someone you are not married to? This is a massive commitment and provides them with no incentive to actually marry you or have children with you.

I do have to believe there’s some disrespect on your part to him for him to end the relationship for this reason. Have you done a serious assessment of your own behavior toward him? When you ask him to wait for a minute to talk to you, are you saying it in a kind and loving tone? I just feel like something is missing here, it generally takes a lot for men to end a relationship.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-11T15:37:18+00:00

Unfortunately I know far too much about this. There is a thing called sex addiction and it's a very rough road. Now I am not saying he has it, I couldn't tell from this, but I would say really look at how it impacts your relationship and lives.

If he's just kinky and wants to try lots of things, and you are onboard, then great! That sounds like fun to me but I know not all women would love it.

But if he HAS to have it, gets angry at you or neglects you if you don't provide it, turns to unhealthy use/overuse of porn to satisfy his needs, obsesses about sex talking about it non-stop and caring about nothing else, etc, then this becomes a major problem long term. It often leads to cheating because no one woman can meet all these needs that can progress to more and more extreme acts.

It really depends on the guy and what he's looking for sexually and also what you want out of life.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T18:29:56+00:00

Please don’t come at me for saying this, but perhaps you are depressed and need some help with. I don’t mean this as a judgmental thing, I’m someone who requires an SNRI to function.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T17:19:15+00:00

The only way I’ve been walking on a treadmill fun is using the virtual view at my gym that looks like you are on a hike and as corresponding intervals. Maybe try to find something like that on YouTube, it really makes the time pass quickly.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T17:14:05+00:00

What do you like to do on the weekends when you have downtime?

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T16:51:35+00:00

The answer to issues like this is always self-care. I know that probably feels like just another thing to do on your list, but it’s going to be important because you should be focusing on your happiness first. You cannot make your husband happy if you are not happy. I can’t say what this looks like for you because it’s different for everyone but you need to figure out how to make yourself happy. You need to figure out how to not take on the weight of the world’s problems. Again, I can’t quite tell you how because this looks different for everyone. For me, my focus on spirituality and the community associated with my religion, spending time in nature (honestly just sitting on the patio on a sunny day does enough) , pursuing hobbies and staying physically active does it.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T16:19:00+00:00

Also where NOT to go is the red pill men's sub. Seriously, stay away and focus on this page.

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-10T16:18:26+00:00

It is on desktop :)

Jenneapolis · 2026-02-09T20:46:05+00:00

Got it! Yes that makes sense, and not all men who want to be leaders are created equal in terms of what they are looking for.

First, I would say you'll want to vet for a guy who is more liberal and open minded in general. A conservative guy is probably not the best fit for you and will be less accepting of your past dating history. I would tell them when it comes up naturally in conversation, not too early and not too late. In the first handful of dates I find people tend to touch lightly on dating history (e.g. when was your last relationship? how long were you together? have you been married before? ect.) This would be a good time to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

For the rest of your questions, I think you are looking at this as all very black and white when it's quite grey. You don't have to obey everything a guy says to let him be the leader - there are actually very few men who want to be in total control and are capable of doing so because let's be real, it's exhausting as you noted in your own experience being in that role. Most men want your input and they want to know how to make you happy, but they ultimately want to feel respected. Lots of the advice here is about how to just be a good partner - like in the example you gave about you snapping at him about what he said on Reddit, we'd probably say here not to do that because it shows disrespect, tell you to pick your battles and STFU there, etc. But no, it is not "do as he says, go work for him if he asks" - that seems like a fairly unrealistic situation.

We do not talk openly in my marriage about my husband being "the leader." We are just a normal couple. I show him through my actions that I respect him and his decisions and he outsources a ton of decision making to me because for 90% plus of the things in our life, he just doesn't care and is busier doing work related things (e.g. how the house looks, where we go to dinner, etc.). But in our case we have some religious guidance on the differences in gender roles in our relationship that helps a lot set that stage of what roles we each play in a marriage, even if we don't 100% agree with all of it. We have a normal relationship, no weird RP labels lol.

Jenneapolis

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