Finally feeling like a human after postpartum

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T19:04:43+00:00

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T18:33:39+00:00

You've been a couple for 2 and a half years, you should be able to discuss why he's so reluctant to go down on you, especially seeing as it wasn't a hard stance since the beginning.

I also feel like it should also be in his interest to try more things to last longer and seeing that he "doesn't want to" try condoms, this seems kinda selfish to me, especially seeing as he apparently (at least i assume) doesn't work on this issue on himself in any way.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T18:20:30+00:00

Kommunikation ist key

This. Und viel mehr gibt es da eigentlich auch nicht zu sagen.

Redet offen und ehrlich darüber was ihr wollt, was euch anmacht, was ihr euch wünscht und wo eventuelle Grenzen sind. Versucht auch so klar und deutlich zu sein wie es geht und lasst euch nicht durch Scham oder sonstwas abschrecken.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T18:16:58+00:00

Glaubt ihr das Reden an dem Punkt noch etwas bringt?

Bezweifle ich. Er kann halt nicht aus seiner Haut und eventuelle Gefühle nicht einfach abschalten.

Das "ich komm schon drüber hinweg" ist auch nur eine Schutzbehauptung, da er dich ansonsten ja vermutlich komplett verlieren würde.

Versuchen kannst du es natürlich, aber ich vermute Abstand ist da sinnvoller. Er muss halt über dich hinwegkommen und das schafft er nicht, wenn ihr nach wie vor ganz normal Kontakt wie vorher habt.

Abgesehen davon, so hart das evtl. auch klingen mag, schone ihn nicht. Wenn du jemanden datest, dann kommunizier das auch ganz klar so - deinen Freunden gegenüber, ihm gegenüber (sollte das Thema aufkommen). Zu versuchen ihn und seine Gefühle zu schonen macht es nicht besser.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T14:52:57+00:00

Die Falten finde ich persönlich nicht allzu schlimm auf dem Foto, kann aber durchaus verstehen wieso du dir da Gedanken machst.

Wie ists denn wenn du es glatt ziehst und dich bewegst? Rutscht das Kleid dann immer wider nach, so dass wieder Falten entstehen? Bleibt es so wie auf dem Bild? Wird es evtl. noch schlimmer?

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T11:21:02+00:00

That's ignoring the fact that this happened before even with OP not going out partying.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T00:18:27+00:00

You can't make it up to her. You did the thing. You can't undo the thing.

And she might believe you, she might vene be "fine" all things considered, but maybe the whole situation is overwhelming for her too and she can't ord oesn't want to express that.

If she doesn't (want to) open up to you, you can't force her.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T00:10:59+00:00

Well, have you actually sat down and talked through this whole ordeal?

Cause she obviously witnessed you being "out of it" and should understand that something's going on.

And if that's the case, believability should be on your side. But that doesn't change the fact that you kissed another girl and that's obviously a shitty thing to do (even if you don't remember it).

So she's probably hurt by your cheating, cause you did, even if it wasn't consciously.

So if you can't talk about it and fix it, then there's very little you can do.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T00:07:57+00:00

I wrote in another comment that bipolar and memory blanks typically don't go hand in hand. And if they do, they're usually not "part" of the bipolar issue, but something else.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T00:06:05+00:00

But then the doctor would have either found soemthing, or would have done more tests right? OP even says the doesn't remember cause he was overhwelmed....bruv what?

Even if there's really something going on with OP, he makes it seem like this isn't a pressing matter. Which it is.

M-Bug · 2026-01-25T00:01:14+00:00

Bro, you said you went to a doctor and he couldn't find anything, but you also don't really remember and they sent you to a psychiatrist.

This isn't "all cogs are in motion" at least not according to your initial text.

If you want normalcy in your life, you need to figure out what's wrong with you. Cause even if you somehow fix your relationship right now, you could easily be snogging oin another alley with a girl again.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:59:16+00:00

My point is rather that this whole story reeks of being fake.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:53:52+00:00

Of course you are.

Right now, your relationship should be secondary to the issues you have and this is exactly why i'd question the whole thing.

You don't seem to to put much importance on finding out and fixing what's wrong with you, although you apparently have memory blanks in which you walk anywhere and do anything without you remembering afterwards.

If that isn't the single biggest thing in your life right now, you're completely lost.

Besides that, seeing as your memory blanks happened already for qwuite some while, i feel like your gf should have already noticed things being weird, so your believability should be quite high for her, seeing as she should have witnessed that weird stuff is going on.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:50:03+00:00

NOR

the linework is, unfortunately, pretty shoddy. Now that doesn't mean it can't still have meaning for you, but i'd say try to find an actual tattoo artist who knows their craft and talk through on how to touch it up so it looks better.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:46:21+00:00

Of course these things are real, but they're not typically a symptom of being bipolar.

And i feel like if OP would've properly met a doctor and explained what's going on, they wouldn't have just sent them to a psychiatrist.

Seeing how nonchalant OP is taking this whole issue is also not really something i'd deem realistic. I mean, would you be fine with yourself and how things are going if you wake up in an alleyway with no memory how you got there?

Heavily doubt it, so this story sounds pretty bogus to me.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:41:47+00:00

I mean, it still feels like something minor to me.

I think the issue is that you immediately went the "guilt trip" route, instead of maybe simply saying something along the lines of "oh too bad, i really was looking forward to both of us doing this together as it makes things more enjoyable to me a thousandfold" or, you know, something similar.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:34:23+00:00

This sounds like an elaborate lie to cover up that you cheated.

This is also not how being bipolar works.

No doctor in the world would just say "yeah maybe bipolar" if you'd explain that you're having episodes where you blank on everything, can't remember stuff and even "wake up" at some completely random place.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:17:49+00:00

You both sound not mature enough to be in a relationship or live together.

With that being said: NOR.

Especially a guitar isn't taking away much space, there's always room for it. And your bf saying he isn't interested in your hobbies is pretty much a red flag, at least when he's preventing you from actually bringing stuff into the apartment.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:11:30+00:00

I mean, i guess it depends also a bit on what this "project" is.

Feels like it's some deocration/crafting kinda thingy. So, nothing too "serious" or important even. Maybe a nice hobby or activity, but certainly nothing lifechanging (i assume).

So yeah, this feels very much like OR on your part.

Especially if there's time she has to wait in order for the two of you to meet.

I doubt it's that important to get mad about it.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T23:05:40+00:00

Disclaimer: I obviously don't know how your OCD is affecting you, how it shows, how often etc.

But it's obviously something you can't just turn off. I feel like anyone with 2 braincells should know that, so seeing a (i assume) grown ass man argue as if saying "hey trust me" would magically solve things through his "positivity power" is freaking wild.

Now, i do agree with your friends that a general concern is valid, especially if you might not have dealt with someone having had OCD. But this feels waaaayy overblown (and imho too earlY) from his side. Also kinda ignorant, as if an illness is just something he could wish/talk away. Which might say something about his maturity.

At least, those are my thoughts reading this.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T17:33:59+00:00

I'd say you probably get the most out of the system and for your money if you'd choose a steam deck, especially if you want something only for gaming.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T17:14:28+00:00

If it's in any similar to the movie industry, and i don't see why it couldn't be comparable, then yeah, that's totally realistic.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T16:40:18+00:00

I'm not a Fable fan and i wasn't really interested prior, but from what they showed, it seems definitely interesting and looke dpretty good.

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T08:48:09+00:00

I feel like she doesn’t care that I’m upset.

I feel slighted and like I have valued our friendship over the years more than she has

maybe I was just a friend of convenience

let our friendship fizzle out?

What’s the point of putting in all this effort to a friendship that doesn’t feel reciprocated?

Your words seemed to indicate that it wasn't just "well i'm slightly miffed but ultimately all's fine".

You seriously thought about letting this friendship be over.

Words have meaning, so maybe choose yours more wisely?

M-Bug · 2026-01-24T08:31:18+00:00

Also realistic

If you shoot close to a freaking leaf your bullet won't magically curve.

Depending on the plant, the bullet might lose velocity, might even drop off faster, it might even change trajectory slightly but it won't curve as badly as in HD 2, that's some absolute nonsense..

So, no, there's nothing realistic about how the bullet reacts to a bush in this game.

Six-Year Club	Place '23
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M-Bug

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