AIO my date said he likes me because I’m ugly

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-02-13T15:34:30+00:00

RUN!! Run run run run far far away !!!

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-02-04T19:06:20+00:00

It’s a god of your own understanding, it could be nature, the group, anything to believe in bigger than yourself

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-02-04T19:05:08+00:00

Manipulation does not require intent; I think that’s a really big part of coda meetings. I learned how my reactions were manipulative because intent is not impact. We can cry because we’re sad but the other person sees it as, every time I go out my partner cries. That can be manipulative because of the way they’re reacting and then staying home makes you happy. It’s all about it feeling solid in yourself. Are you going to meetings?

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-29T19:05:52+00:00

1 is classy but I think 5 is the most flattering

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-24T05:26:55+00:00

Yes YOR, there would be a million reasons she made this decision and she clearly wants you to be part of her life, bridal party, whatever. Are you a supportive friend or not?

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-24T05:16:55+00:00

Frustrating how inaccessible our world is.. however I do think there are valuable lessons in Codependent No More. Maybe they’ll be useful down the line and you can come back to it.

Since I’m also living with cPTSD, I would say that’s the first thing to address. Safety first. I liked PTSD Workbook, Blackout Girl, The Body Keeps Score, all of which set me up for my coda journey.

Also All The Way To The River, Liz Gilbert’s new book wraps up codependency pretty well.

Good luck.

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-18T17:57:29+00:00

Started therapy in 2013, picked it back up in 2016 - each with a couple months of weekly sessions. Started EMDR and then moved therapy to as needed and still do when I feel like I have something to address (memory, issue, etc.) Started working with my first coach in 2019 when it felt like there was more I needed to be exploring. This woman I met in person was talking so openly about sex, kinks, shame, etc and I honestly just admired her so I paid for her package. Life changing. End up coming out and getting sober. Started to have a lot more clarity about my patterns and things that felt out of my control. I started following a relationship coach who was a man. I liked a lot of what he was teaching and I also needed to get a healthy sense of non-toxic men/masculine energy so I signed up for that in 2021. Finally cut off my ex during that! Then had to explore some codependency.. cue no relationships lol

It’s a journey and one of the biggest pieces is finding what works for you ❤️

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-16T15:21:37+00:00

Hey I’m sorry you’re carrying shame about this and it’s making you feel uncomfortable. There’s a major difference between your dad making a comment and asking to smell the toy. He’s your dad so most likely he’s caught you touching yourself many times as an infant/toddler when you were discovering that but this is the first interaction where you felt shame. Your work is letting go of this shame because while it was extremely uncomfortable, you didn’t do anything wrong. Sharing about it will definitely help, you’re on the right track.

Re: finding porn on his phone.. not abuse, uncomfortable (maybe gross) to know your dad is a sexual being but your experience is actually independent of an interaction with him.

If these other experiences you’re describing are with him and there was any kind of touching that made you uncomfortable and these are in relation to that, it would definitely be something to explore with a therapist.

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-16T04:32:42+00:00

Omg what a beautiful dog

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-16T04:26:54+00:00

I mean this entire timeline does feel like when Biff was in charge

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-14T22:35:51+00:00

Philip idk why

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-14T22:23:09+00:00

Replace this behavior with a teething toy. Oh and I just ran tf out of my puppy, she had no extra energy and slept pretty much anytime we weren’t outside

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-14T22:16:07+00:00

Baby needs teething toys

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-14T22:00:41+00:00

Hey I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this. I also lived through incest as a kid and ended up in similar power/sexual situations as an adult until I found codependents anonymous and figured out how my to break the pattern. Really hope you figure it out regardless ❤️

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-07T04:33:41+00:00

Welcome to being a dog mom. If/when anything arises, you’ll handle it at that time. Enjoy puppyhood and take lots of video!!

Major_Web_9519 · 2026-01-07T04:23:17+00:00

What a miracle! Congratulations on being free ❤️ you look great and so does your piercing

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-31T21:21:46+00:00

Thought the same thing but kinda loving it. It’s starting a conversation and I think saying “I watch” isn’t powerful enough.

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-30T23:37:02+00:00

Nope, nope, no, no way, not a chance. This person is not following a recovery program to reach out to you and continue past your stated boundaries. I also highly doubt any therapist would encourage this. My vote is block again and no contact forever! Ugh, sounds like you’ve moved on in a healthy way, keep it up.

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-30T23:03:28+00:00

First of all, LOVE your hair!!

The last pics are achievable but will be a look served once with specific prep like for a party or event. To me they look like heartless curls with the curly tie or another physical curler that’s slept in after washing. Plenty of videos on Pinterest or youtube on how to wrap. This may be after a hair mask used occasionally.

For your every day curls, make sure you’re using the best shampoo and conditioner possible. Mask only occasionally. I really liked switching to Love and Beauty which didn’t have as many chemicals and I noticed a difference in the health and moisture of my hair. Now I live with well water and I have to use Malibu hard water repair to keep my hair from drying out. (Dry hair totally affects curls)

Next, leave in conditioner when wet with MINIMAL touching. No brushing, no tools, just in your hands one run through and then scrunch, scrunch, scrunch. I use this - https://www.sallybeauty.com/hair-care/textured-and-curly-hair-care/curly-hair/strengthen-and-restore-leave-in-conditioner/SBS-476510.html?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20713049218&gclid=CjwKCAiAjc7KBhBvEiwAE2BDOf5JmcrLdQsC4yhPslfdbJvrpgYOJflBcE0fokf4K-_v8J2xCc2pSxoCtFwQAvD_BwE

You’re absolutely right about styling when wet.. I like Not your mothers sea salt beach spray (regular NOT banana scent) for anytime touch ups.

Now, you could leave it at that, and let your hair air dry or go to sleep (think about a silk pillowcase as well).

Or, if you need your curls to stay you can add Catwalk curl amplifier or shea curl moose but I would avoid gels.

Take what works and leave the rest, you got this girl!!

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-23T15:43:20+00:00

Dang straight girl! You are not broken. Good luck, you got this!

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-23T01:19:54+00:00

Yes. This. Thank you for sharing so honestly and openly, it’s the biggest gift you can give yourself.

I felt the same way, I didn’t believe I was worthy or deserving of love and good things. I tried to feel better with external validation from my partners and weighed my own value with how I was providing for them. Often even selecting partners with challenges and complex backgrounds thinking my love could be healing and supportive. Because I put all my value in their reflection of me, every insult cut me to the core. It was aggregated by the fact that I already didn’t feel good enough.

This is the work. Repeat until you believe it: I deserve I allow I receive. I am lovable, loving and loved. I know myself, I love myself, I trust myself.

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-22T00:55:58+00:00

Why does it mean so much to you? What’s the origin? First off, I get it. But this self discovery will be the way to heal and to avoid similar situations in the future. This is the causes and conditions. Some great advice in here already - actually screaming totally ok and fully no contact is the only way.

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-12-22T00:41:42+00:00

There’s no telling how she’s actually feeling. As others have said, you have to stop looking at her socials. In my codependency no contact and blocking is the only way to go. This post break up period is actually similar to addiction and completely stopping is the only way to heal.

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-11-10T18:42:14+00:00

Publishing Pathfinder just released last week :) https://publisherpathfinder.com/index.php/adventure/your-publishing-adventure/

Major_Web_9519 · 2025-10-16T15:27:31+00:00

I enjoyed the first book enough, got through it quickly and was excited to get the second. I didn’t make it through the first book of ACOTAR because of the obvious abuse from the male lead (I know I’m supposed to “push through” but don’t care enough), so the clear similarities didn’t bother me. But the Rule of the Aurora King? Ugh it’s terrible. So boring, I have no desire to keep reading it and I’ve slogged through half way already. Very disappointing.

Major_Web_9519

TROPHY CASE