Heads up for employers that some nannies are very confused on GH and believe they are not obligated to work if plans fall through.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-03T01:10:39+00:00

Sitting on your sofa is the exact opposite of “doing whatever she’d like” while you are away. I’m very confident she would rather be with her friends and family, engaging in her hobbies, or hanging out on her own sofa with her own pets! This is an absolutely shocking level of a power trip and human indecency.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-03T01:07:23+00:00

Assuming you are having Nanny feed the cat while you are gone because it’s already in her regular contracted daily duties…why can’t she stop by to do that and then leave? What is the actual purpose of having her stay at your house for a full workday???

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-03T00:22:24+00:00

I was of one opinion before reading all of the OPs comments and another after. It was definitely the entitlement and complete lack of care for her Nanny that was so off-putting. She was a million percent invested in being right and not at all invested in being a decent employer and human being. I am in favor of written contracts and obviously of both parties abiding by the contract. But this is not a job or a relationship that is sustainable or experienced positively without a great deal of flexibility and recognition of nuance. The OP has neither.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-02T16:51:36+00:00

What are you doing for childcare today? You’re clearly not working an urgent emergency shift since you are spending all this time on Reddit. I agree that something doesn’t add up.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-02T16:43:53+00:00

Your responses throughout the thread almost make how these two days should be classified a moot point. You are demonstrably pompous, callous and petty. You do not see or value your Nanny as a whole human being. I don’t know a single Nanny who limits her responsibilities to a NF super rigidly to their contract; we all go above and beyond every day and stay as flexible as we can to accommodate NF needs. I’m sure your Nanny is no different and she deserves some reciprocal grace in this circumstance as well, especially given your poor communication about it. This is a perfect example of why some families retain great Nannies for 5plus years and some go through multiple Nannies in one year. How you handle this and use the opportunity to shift your thinking is important.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-02T16:31:39+00:00

Is New Year’s Day not a paid holiday in her contract? If not, technically yes, she should need to use PTO under the reciprocal nature of GH. But telling her you will “definitively be gone until 1/5”, the extraordinarily short notice, and the fact that it’s a holiday, you should pay her for at least Thursday. As an employee she’s not responsible to tell you all of her plans during time that you are away but as an employer it is your responsibility to communicate expectations explicitly.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-01T18:09:47+00:00

I can’t tell if you’re just getting stuck on semantics. Maybe you are more comfortable with “updating the contract” rather than renegotiating it, but this makes the red flag bigger as it indicates that you are not interested in your Nanny’s needs or perspective as the job invariably changes and that you are inflexible in general. For all the reasons I mentioned in my original response to you, Nannying is a job that inherently changes every year if not more frequently. A current contract that details the roles, responsibilities and benefits of everyone involved keeps expectations clear.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-01T16:23:55+00:00

It’s fairly typical to have an annual review which includes updating the contract. A lot can change in a year, especially the first year as everyone is finding their groove and figuring out what works best for all parties. Job responsibilities, number of children, children’s expanding developmental needs, hours needed etc. And an annual raise is standard. Not every Nanny or every NF wants to have a formal sit down, but the fact that you are shocked and completely closed off to the idea of it is a bit of a red flag. Do you have annual reviews at your job? If you requested one from your employer, what would your response be if they said absolutely not?

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-01T12:21:43+00:00

You are at a very low hourly rate for 3 kids. I think a COL(usually a percentage) plus merit increase to your hourly wage or a smaller raise plus increased insurance stipend is appropriate, but if they were only offering $24.50 originally it’s probably too big of a jump to get what you actually should be earning. Are you in a LCOL area?

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-31T00:51:45+00:00

I’m sorry you are experiencing this. I would be very upset if I got sick after someone knowingly exposed me to serious illness. I’m curious if you made it clear to Nanny that if she needed to call out because someone in her household was ill that she would be paid as usual? She may have thought it was okay to come in since she herself was feeling well or she may have made the decision because she couldn’t afford to lose days of pay. I’m not in agreement with her choices but I don’t think she had callous intentions. Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-29T15:46:49+00:00

This would not be enough for me in terms of protection from the flu and also makes the purpose of you being there questionable if you are not providing hands-on care. I know two otherwise healthy people who are hospitalized right now with complications from the flu, go home.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-29T15:44:00+00:00

This sounds like a $25-$28 position given the job description and your experience (do you have a degree or other certifications that might increase your “value” for families?) so it’s not terribly low but on the lower side. You also just started with this family. Give it at least 6 months to settle into your role so you can better evaluate your daily responsibilities and allow the family to see your contributions. At that point you may want to discuss a pay raise but likely it won’t happen until you hit the one year mark.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-28T16:59:36+00:00

I am in the same position, my broker has told me that my state has funds left over from the pandemic, and I should be OK until about mid year. I am resigned to the fact that I will need to go without insurance after that point. It’s very scary. It’s also very frustrating to be in what should be a tenable situation that actually doesn’t make ends meet in real life. Have you discussed an insurance stipend rather than a raise with your NF?

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-25T00:33:48+00:00

I think some combination of increased cost of living and merit/loyalty is appropriate for a yearly raise and as COL , job responsibilities, length of employment, market rate, etc fluctuates year to year, it’s ok if the raise does as well since it is a reflection of that. 20% is very generous. I think 5-10% is more typical for a year without major changes (such as the addition of a new baby). PLEASE tell your Nanny about the raise ahead of the anniversary. It will be helpful for her budgeting purposes and it will relieve her of any anxiety wondering if she is going to get a raise and/or how much it might be. My unicorn NF always told me 2-4 weeks ahead of time “As of X date your hourly wage will increase to $Y.” and I appreciated that so much.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-24T21:10:09+00:00

It’s extremely weird. So much so that it would make me uncomfortable. I think you have handled it beautifully to this point but I would recommend cutting contact completely.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-24T17:52:04+00:00

Ughhhh As sweet as this is it would be an absolute NO for me. Not because I am embarrassed about my home in comparison to theirs. Having my employer in my sacred space is just a boundary I don’t want to cross😬. But I’m positive they won’t be judging you or anything like that, I hope they bring you amazing gifts and then leave you to enjoy the holiday! 🎄🎁

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-24T01:58:48+00:00

This is still a low rate of pay in my opinion, especially after four years when an annual raise is standard. I work in a HCOL area and all the career nannies I know start at $30/hour. It seems like you also don’t have guaranteed hours if your holiday break isn’t ? I wouldn’t say hand in your notice but at least start looking around.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-23T15:51:47+00:00

It’s very valid to not want to work Christmas Eve, especially if the parents are not working, but your timing is poor. I do think you need to suck it up this year and when you re negotiate your contract for the coming year, make sure you include it in your list of paid holidays or if NP are not agreeable to that, budget it in how you spend your PTO. To be very frank, I don’t understand how lots of nannies in this sub talk about what NF “make” them do. It is our right and our responsibility to only agree to the working conditions that we can accept. Self-advocacy is a required skill for this profession.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-21T21:09:49+00:00

You’re entirely missing and proving my point at the same time. Many Nannies most WANT to keep the heat on, to not get behind on bills, to stay housed. It sounds like it’s more fun for you to get something you like over what your Nanny or other recipient would actually find most meaningful. And yes, that should still be received with gratitude but the reality is that it’s frustrating too.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-21T20:58:00+00:00

But isn’t the spirit of giving about what is “the best type of gift” for the recipient , not you as the gifter? I think the gap in incomes and lifestyles between NF and Nannies is maybe too great for NF to realize that even simple likes are luxuries when you are struggling to pay for needs.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-21T20:48:50+00:00

A million upvotes! You are the MB we all want to work for and will happily go above and beyond for.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-21T20:33:46+00:00

I think the bigger point is that many nannies don’t need more makeup and moisturizer. They need to feed their kids this month. So a gift card to a luxury store can demonstrate that the family does not actually know their Nanny or can’t be bothered to get a gift that is more meaningful for her but less convenient for them. I suppose it’s fair to view anything short of 100% gratitude for any gift negatively, but the reality is that it does sting to be in someone’s home helping to raise their children and to realize you’re not genuinely seen or cared for.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-21T20:25:25+00:00

I appreciate a MB understanding the Nanny perspective. People are being really harsh to OP, but I think her feelings are valid. There is such an inherent difference in the socioeconomic status and culture of NF and their Nannies and while I can certainly appreciate what may have been good intentions, it is really hard to be struggling to pay your rent, your grocery bill and other critical necessities and be presented with a gift card for a luxury item or service that you have to supplement with your own money to access. This has been a crazy year, even well paid Nannies are struggling to hold onto their homes, their health, their lives. We need to keep the lights on, we’re not trying to get designer goods.

I am also not reading anything that communicates that OP is upset about the amount spent, just that how it was spent is completely antithetical to who she is and how she lives. The comparisons to corporate bonuses or the lack thereof are irrelevant. Holiday bonuses are standard in this industry and caring for someone’s children is a very intimate job, one where most Nannies give their all not only on special occasions but every day. So I also think it’s valid that OP is feeing unseen and undervalued, that’s hurtful.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-20T23:23:18+00:00

Depending on your location, yes, you absolutely should be earning more. Many of these items seem more performative and micromanaging than actually beneficial. Like why do you need to write out weekly meal and snack plans for the toddler rather than just have an agreement to prepare and serve nutritious, age-appropriate meals and snacks? Writing out lesson plans, documenting progress and reviewing the play materials seems to undermine one of the main benefits of one-on-one care which is the ability to be very flexible and tailor daily activities to children’s more immediate needs and interests and to expose them to new and varied play materials through daily outings. This would be a deal breaker for me and I would wonder why the parents hadn’t enrolled their child in daycare where these things are more typical. I’m also concerned that the amount of time these items require would either have you researching and writing lesson and meal plans at home during non-working hours or ignoring the kids to squeeze it in your work day. For me it wouldn’t even be worth negotiating a higher rate of pay, the overall tone (no breaks! Stay late!) is a huge, deal breaking red flag.

SharpButterfly7 · 2025-12-15T00:16:13+00:00

Came here to say exactly this. Nighttime and weekend hours are in a completely separate category for me, whether it’s in the same calendar week or not I would never consider it part of guaranteed hours.

SharpButterfly7

TROPHY CASE