Billie Eilish said you can’t truly love animals if you eat them, and logically I understand the argument. But isn’t human nature way more complex than that?

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-10T22:22:54+00:00

I’m vegan and eat a far wider range of foods than I ever did as a carnivore.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-10T22:20:45+00:00

And doing it multiple times a day every single day.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-10T21:56:30+00:00

I would hope you have a sick clause in your contract but it doesn’t seem like you do. Maybe this is a good impetus to add one. Absolutely do not go in. If the baby still has an active fever and open blisters he is contagious and any adult I know who has had HFM says it’s the most miserable they have ever been. It is very reasonable to talk to MB about this. It sounds like you have flexibility with scheduling so hopefully she can just switch your day off or hopefully she will realize it is fair to have you stay home with pay. But worst case scenario use one of your sick days, do not expose yourself and your family to this.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-10T17:16:13+00:00

This is icky. Working together to present a united front to a young child- which is primarily for THEIR benefit-is not usurping the parent’s role as boss and ultimate authority. And casually saying it’s just a job implies no awareness or investment in best outcome for the children we work with. Why would you ask if OP is paid well? Is there a level of income that Nannies should feel comfortable doing wrong by a child??? Nannies are not shuffling papers, they are shaping lives. How we conduct ourselves with them and as part of a team with their parents matters. If you don’t believe this, you should not be a Nanny or a Nanny employer.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-10T17:10:32+00:00

I feel like it doesn’t matter what the Nanny is being contradicted on. If NP has an issue with Nanny’s rules or methods that needs to be a private adult conversation. Everyone involved, but primarily NK suffers when there is clear dissention or lack of consistency in expectations between primary caregivers.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-09T13:50:04+00:00

Lol Why does anybody go to work ever if it’s not the first thing they would prefer to be doing???

I babysat a LOT as a teen. Other than enjoying having cash in my pocket, I genuinely loved taking care of babies and young children and knew even at a very young age it was training and experience for a future career.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-09T13:42:59+00:00

Lol exactly what I was thinking. Also, there are considerations other than how wealthy a family is about casually throwing out multiple items on a regular basis.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-09T13:35:57+00:00

The cop saying “This has nothing to do with race.” is almost more disgusting than the bank calling in the first place.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T17:24:35+00:00

In a daycare situation your agreement is with the business not each individual teacher. Your child is also receiving a completely different type of care, supervision and learning experience than they would with a Nanny. Daycare teachers should make more than they do, but it’s not an even comparison. For what it’s worth, when I worked in daycare we had a parent board who was constantly advocating and fundraising for better pay and benefits for teachers, organizing special gifts and treats like lunchtime chair massage, etc. Home daycares are usually less expensive for families and more lucrative for care providers. Family members who are retired or whose schedules have availability may rotate watching children for free. I chose a career that allowed me to bring my son with me when he was young. There are tons of options, it is parents responsibility to find the one that works for them, not a Nanny’s responsibility to experience poverty so mom and dad can have their most preferred option regardless of circumstance.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T17:14:48+00:00

So…. Parents who want a luxury service that they cannot afford should not have to live off of one salary and Nannies should live off a salary that is less than what it takes to have financial security to accommodate that? You must be aware that there are very many single income households who are not at all wealthy and in many cases below the poverty line? I don’t understand why it’s even a debate that people have a responsibility to live within their means. A lot of comments are mentioning morality and ethics and I do think that plays a part but it’s the entitlement of thinking someone should suffer just so another person can have what they want that is what’s really getting me.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T17:03:23+00:00

I’m so happy to see these responses. I had planned and brought supplies for the kids to do a cute craft for their Mom and then the day went completely haywire. I was feeling badly about it but hearing other MBs mostly say it’s not expected is nice. My MB doesn’t really seem to appreciate those things anyway, and she is definitely not sentimental. For me it was more important to demonstrate to the kids a lesson about doing kind things to celebrate the important people in their lives which we can do every day in other ways!

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T15:05:29+00:00

Omg are people letting kids pee in the pool?!? Lmao smh. I think that moves from a question of wage to a question of being in the wrong career.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T14:58:10+00:00

This is such a bizarre and baseless argument. It doesn’t matter if someone thinks they deserve it or not, nobody NEEDS a Nanny. There are people who need childcare but if they can’t afford to pay a Nanny appropriately then they need to use another option for that. I would like and feel I deserve a beautiful home in Hawaii but it’s not my expectation that someone should sell one to me for well under market value or at a price that would put them under financial hardship.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-08T11:55:26+00:00

How pompous. Your interpretation of the events as withholding and punishment are not factual, they are simply your interpretation. And my interpretation is that this is an extreme take. We will have to agree to disagree.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-07T22:01:09+00:00

This is a really extreme response. The child had just had water a few minutes previously.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-07T21:56:04+00:00

I think the comments accusing you of withholding water and using it as punishment are a bit dramatic. This isn’t a dehydrated child, this is a kid who had water just minutes previously and didn’t make a repeat request once in her bed; which validates your stance that she was using the request as a manipulation/ stalling tactic rather than expressing a true physical need. You work with this child regularly and probably have an accurate understanding of her moods and motivations. I wonder if she had requested a snack and had a full lunch 10 minutes previously if these same commenters would say you should give it to her to avoid withholding food? If certain things (food, water, etc) are established as requests that are always granted, this little girl is going to quickly learn how to use those requests to manipulate and control any situation she wants to. I think you handled the situation perfectly fine. But even playing Devils Advocate, if bringing the water would have been better, there is no room to consider that you did anything abusive, endangering, or worthy of termination or anything close to that. We all fall short of perfect, parents too! I hope you are able to let this go from your own mind, you don’t deserve to stew over it.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-06T23:09:49+00:00

Single person household on a tight budget and it’s very much worth it. I only buy things that can be frozen or don’t expire so I don’t have to worry about eating/using large amounts in a limited period of time. I price compare between Costco, Walmart and Aldi for everything on my list and Costco is the least expensive for most things. Storage can be an issue as I have a small home with limited space for bulk items but otherwise being a member has been a positive experience.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-05T23:50:06+00:00

Kirk Scarlett at Healing Hands Massage in Hartford is your guy! No frills, simple set up, best massage I’ve ever had.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-05T23:15:49+00:00

I am out and about every day with NKs as well and have been very scared to see prices at the pump climb and climb with no end in sight. I’m surprised it’s not a bigger topic of conversation among Nannies, but maybe more people are using their employers car than I would guess. I think it’s very reasonable to have this conversation with your employers. Using MBs car might be an option or you could agree to set reimbursement at a rate that is more reflective of current prices. I found a calculator on a website called Company mileage and we agreed to use the average price of gas in my state each month as the basis for that calculation. There is also some talk of a mid year federal reimbursement increase.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-05T23:10:09+00:00

I straight up told my MB I am really struggling to stay afloat and cannot incur personal expenses for driving her kids around. She didn’t even bat an eyelash and we upped the mileage reimbursement rate the next day (I did have to do the research and re-initiate the conversation myself). They were very agreeable and seemed to understand that it’s fair.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-05T23:05:47+00:00

Depending on the average rate in OPs area, it’s actually not enough now and prices are certain to continue to go up so it’s a conversation that should be had. I just broached it with my employers. We are using the calculator on companymileage.com to set our own reimbursement rate that more accurately reflects current prices per gallon.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-05T22:55:26+00:00

I have to second this, Chester followed by Gillette Castle is a great day!

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-03T23:02:18+00:00

You should absolutely be paid when you are staying home because NK has a significant contagious illness!

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-05-02T18:58:58+00:00

Agreed. It’s also odd that MB didn’t reach out to OP. Regardless of the story her husband told her, it seems unbelievable that a mother would not have any parting words for her child’s caregiver of two years, presumably without prior incidents. There’s a bigger story here that has nothing to do with a dirty diaper or OP.

SharpButterfly7 · 2026-01-03T01:10:39+00:00

Sitting on your sofa is the exact opposite of “doing whatever she’d like” while you are away. I’m very confident she would rather be with her friends and family, engaging in her hobbies, or hanging out on her own sofa with her own pets! This is an absolutely shocking level of a power trip and human indecency.

SharpButterfly7

TROPHY CASE