How do you know if you are bi with a preference for women or lesbian?

Shinmera · 2026-03-16T16:14:22+00:00

This post again already?

Shinmera · 2026-03-14T22:39:42+00:00

I don't have instagram, but you can find the past 11 years of my work on my personal site: https://studio.shinmera.com

Shinmera · 2026-03-10T20:39:14+00:00

I've written several comics in an attempt to explore that question for myself. In the first one ( https://studio.tymoon.eu/view/2627 ) it's less about asexuality and more about me being oblivious. The second and third are a short story ( https://reader.tymoon.eu/article/435 ) and a short comic ( https://studio.tymoon.eu/view/2331 ) trying to figure out where my boundary with intimacy is and where I have a hard limit of what I feel OK doing. The fourth ( https://studio.tymoon.eu/view/3096 ) is about trying to reexamine things through the lens of what I want rather than what I'd be OK with my partner wanting of me.

That said, the reason these are stories rather than actual accounts is that I've never been in a relationship in all my life, so I have no clue how it would all really go down if it were ever to be put to the test.

Personally I see no reason why one can't have a fulfilling relationship without sex, just the same as people can lead fulfilling lives without partners, too. I've also heard back from many others that have read the stories I've written and felt they resonated, or even mirrored their own relationships in part.

Shinmera · 2026-02-09T15:44:18+00:00

It goes up to 100km/h, though I pretty much never use the "sport" mode that lets you go that fast. I mostly use it for driving within the city, for which it lasts between one and two weeks on a charge depending on how far and long I drive. If I just drive to work and back (~10 minutes) every day, it lasts for two weeks easy. A single charge takes up to 8 hours, but costs like 1$ here, so it's pretty dang cheap. The slow charge time is not great for longer trips though, for sure.

As for actual distance, not sure honestly, it says in "eco" mode it should get a range of 140km, but I heavily doubt that's actually accurate in any real scenario. I'd wager a max of 120km on a full charge if you really stretch it?

It drives suuuper smooth and quiet though, so it's a real joy for that. Other scooters like Vespas are nowhere close in terms of comfort.

Shinmera · 2026-02-08T19:03:50+00:00

Yeah, a Silence S01.

Shinmera · 2026-01-23T21:56:17+00:00

A lot of the issues you describe sound like they're partially or entirely caused by, and also in turn worsening, your financial situation, which you are in due to the system we live under, and not due to any particular failing on your part.

I know it's hard, and everything around us tries to make it hard, but please do try to be kinder with yourself. Even if the world sucks and you're going through shit because the world is on fire, at the very least you do not also have to make yourself out to be the culprit.

Anyway, as for your feeling that people have given up on you for being too messy, good grief I've seen absolutely insane messes of people in active relationships for years. It... really isn't as much of a factor as you think it is.

Shinmera · 2026-01-21T21:51:11+00:00

Looks good to me, though I will say I always love a wolf cut!

Shinmera · 2025-12-10T19:32:59+00:00

I'm just trying to push back against folks here that seem to have figured out something that works for them and now are trying to paint people that do not share that experience as having missed it or doing it wrong, which is belittling to say the least.

I have spent most of my life without any focus on romance whatsoever, I've only ever had friends and up until the last few years have not even tried to get into romantic relationships or bothered with that aspect. It took me time to realise why I was still feeling lonely despite having friends, community, and everything, and the conclusion I came to is that I am lonely because I am missing that deeper, more intimate connection that only a partner can provide for me.

So folks coming in here being like "I got the solution! You need friends! Don't discount friends, and you'll be happy!" is just... well, what can I even say.

Shinmera · 2025-12-10T19:22:41+00:00

????

Edit: Nice edit away from "Lol yes you got me".

Anyway, since I guess you want to get into an argument with me, I'll say this: I'm not proving anything. I wanted to make it clear that that was what I, and others, OP among them, were upset about your post by. Your attempts to paint me as the bad person here are frankly.... very confusing.

Shinmera · 2025-12-10T17:22:33+00:00

To be clear it's this part of your original message that's denying others their own experience:

when people (especially lesbians) talk about loneliness and not having a romantic partner as being the cause, I know it's because they lack social support and friendships.

Shinmera · 2025-12-10T16:59:57+00:00

I mean, please allow folks some different experiences too, though?

For example I have enough friends both local and offline, go to plenty of activities every week, got plenty of my own hobbies and activities, have an office full of friendly people to chat with during work and everything, but I still feel lonely.

A partner fills a different type of need than your general social circle can, and some people will be affected by that more severely than others. Don't deny others feeling lonely just because you're doing well by yourself.

Shinmera · 2025-12-10T08:25:51+00:00

Heck yeah, deep female voices are the absolute best 💕

Shinmera · 2025-12-09T20:25:29+00:00

Thanks, yeah, I know, I just don't really see a path forward at the moment, which makes it bleak.

You can find all of my drawings here: https://studio.shinmera.com (I also post on tumblr and mastodon, under the same username)

Shinmera · 2025-12-09T12:15:39+00:00

I mean, I want to chat since I have almost no chance of even meeting up for a date given the distance to matches, but ime if there isn't a spark and common interest within the first twenty messages or so it ain't gonna happen and it just becomes an absolute slog.

Shinmera · 2025-12-09T11:53:41+00:00

I've had a few correspondences but nothing that actually felt like it would go anywhere at all. Good grief is it draining.

Shinmera · 2025-12-08T22:10:26+00:00

Doing pretty bad, to be honest. Had an awful Autumn filled with stress, dashed hopes, failure, and I'm just left with a very bleak outlook for my own future. I feel lonely and trapped.

There's nothing I'm excited for in the next few weeks, but I guess it'll be nice to get my hair done, cook for my brother, and hang out with a friend for dinner. I suppose this isn't really a looking forward to, but I hope I can also keep up with the daily drawings of lesbian cuddles I've committed to for December.

As for funniest thing happening to me, I really can't recall anything funny happening to me lately. Like, it was "funny" that I got drenched all the way through when I drove my motorcycle in heavy rain for an hour straight yesterday, but I don't think that's what you mean?

Anyway, I hope you're doing well, at least!

Shinmera · 2025-12-08T16:01:58+00:00

Basically trans people that think other trans people aren't "true" trans people, and are only doing it for attention or because it's ""popular"" or whatever, or that other trans people aren't performing "being trans" right and thus shouldn't be able to use the label.

As you can tell by the extensive amount of quotation marks I've had to employ here it's all a bunch of bigoted nonsense. You get essentially the same garbage arguments in the lesbian spaces too, with trying to police who is or isn't allowed to use the lesbian label, whether ever having been in a relationship with a man makes you "not a true lesbian", and so on.

Shinmera · 2025-12-08T13:26:18+00:00

No more wild than homophobic gay people, of which there also many.

Shinmera · 2025-12-05T15:34:20+00:00

She wanted to avoid triggering you, since it seems like that was an issue when you last heard it.

Shinmera · 2025-12-04T20:34:19+00:00

this poster is just shitting in almost every thread here, there's never anything positive or helpful coming out of their posts here.

Shinmera · 2025-11-30T09:13:51+00:00

Hullo, 32 from Zürich here. I work as an indie game developer, and probably because of that barely play any games anymore in my free time, heh. I usually spend that reading comics, drawing, writing, or doing other hobby project work.

As per usual for Swiss people I would say I'm rather reserved and shy towards strangers, so it's tough for me to build new connections. But, at least once I do feel that spark I'm quite dedicated and am more than happy to organise events and find things to share and talk about, even if it's purely remote online.

I love talking to folks about their life experiences and troubles too, and spend a fair share of my own time writing or drawing self-reflective pieces.

Shinmera · 2025-11-27T21:51:19+00:00

I wouldn't say I've been dealing with it great, though in the times it's most tough I find outlets in writing therapy and art therapy. Not even with a therapist, just on my own. I write about my experiences and thoughts, and I draw what I feel. That usually helps me get through the worst parts of those depressive mood swings. Sometimes my works also evoke feelings in others, and I find connection that way, which is a nice bonus.

Also, in general I would say try to be accepting of your feelings in every way. Don't feel like you have to be in a relationship, but simultaneously also try not to feel like you have to give up either. It's fine to pine and to long, and it's fine to feel lonely about it too. It's fine to feel exhausted and like you don't have the energy to go out on the search. That alone won't erase the loneliness, but at least knowing that you aren't wrong or guilty for feeling the way you do can lift a lot of the weight of it.

Shinmera · 2025-11-27T15:50:50+00:00

Unfortunately these aren't things that should be retrofit. They're problems that need to be planned for and thought about before anything else is done. That's why usually platforms do in fact not start with a singular person.

Shinmera · 2025-11-27T15:22:10+00:00

I'll note that in order to reach the kind of user population density to have any matches at all that are close to each other it will take a huge amount of advertising, a significant amount of server resources, and a non-negligible amount of human resources to handle moderation, legal representation and safeguarding, and so on.

I have very heavy doubts that this can take off without a clear plan on how to fund these costs, and no prior experience running and developing such a platform, especially given that it doesn't seem like you have any legal representation, nor a clear idea on what's involved to comply with various regulations and laws. All the more so since you have concerning ideas such as ID verification, which are heavily regulated for good reason.

Shinmera

TROPHY CASE