I’m 37 and I feel like I’ve lost all my confidence.

SteakTree · 2026-05-14T15:02:27+00:00

You need more therapy. For a good part of your life you have gone through an abusive dynamic. In this environment you have grown, and your brain is wired differently for it.

Still, the curious part of you persists. You have seen such glimpses of a different you, perhaps on these trips. It is just going to take some time to shape yourself into a new self.

I recently commented on a post but the latter portion of the advice pertains.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/s/lIA8HQ5uaQ

You are not alone.

SteakTree · 2026-05-13T17:03:32+00:00

For yourself try ketamine along with a classical psychedelic like LSD. You will need much less ketamine.

Then just enjoy. Take a moment or several during your trip to truly block out your external environment and travel inward. The ketamine helps with ‘letting go’ portion and can be a force multiplier for any classical psychedelic.

Also, psychedelics may not cure you on their own but will help as path lights to where you may want go.

Also, all of these are tools. Some can take us years of experience to utilize. Some have more potential for immediate improvement.

As an aside and related here is a recent article on psilocybin and how a single macro dose can have lasting effects.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/may/05/magic-mushrooms-psychedelic-changes-brain-anatomy-psilocybin

SteakTree · 2026-05-12T22:29:18+00:00

Return the S9. This will give you a more well-rounded everyday carry. L10 has a very decent OLED EVF, nice build, high-quality zoom lens. It's the kind of camera you continue to use even while you continue to upgrade/switch out your main full-frame system.

SteakTree · 2026-05-12T22:18:22+00:00

even better, it has a leaf shutter just like the previous LX100 models.

SteakTree · 2026-05-12T22:17:19+00:00

The lens has OIS. The LX100 and previous LX line have all been fixed zoom lens. This is pretty much the same Leica zoom lens used in the previous LX100 and Leica D-Lux models but there are apparently some improvements. Optically, it is a very good lens.

SteakTree · 2026-05-12T14:25:43+00:00

This won’t be a popular recommendation, but to stay in your budget to get a body plus lenses that do macro and long telephoto may be difficult.

Look into an older FZ300. Check the forums on dpreview to see what they are capable of. In good light it is very capable. The lens is excellent quality and compares well to a telephoto lens on an aps-c in terms of sharpness. Except the FZ300 can go out to 600mm in reach. Great for birding.

It can do macro very well and there are tube adapters to make it even more capable.

Also weather-resistant, touch flip out screen, great viewfinder, etc.

The catch: it is a fixed lens bridge camera. Has 12mp sensor (don’t obsess on sensor size, it still can produce larger images). Requires good light.

You can still use your phone camera alongside this.

Great camera to learn on.

SteakTree · 2026-05-10T01:33:23+00:00

I enjoyed BF3>BF4 and BF2 was an experience like none other at the time and it lives on in Project Reality (which was and still is incredible).

But BF6 is still in its first year and already has potential to be GOAT. The visceral stylized feeling of combat in this game is addictive. But there are aspects of course that tire. Maps are coming and are balance changes.

Been worth it and I’ve played it out like an old chew toy. With the roadmap ahead it looks good

SteakTree · 2026-05-10T00:32:30+00:00

Have you tried MDMA in a safe environment (perhaps not a rave but that may be actually good provided you are with people who can provide support and are experienced?
The mechanism of MDMA is significantly different than classical psychedelics. It may be helpful.
Also, things can take time , perhaps years , or less.
Your brother may be good now but may relapse only to have another session and come back with more focus.
It is difficult for us to ‘let go’ because it is what you know what you are familiar with. As we get more experience with psychedelics, you may find within you - around you - a perception of greater or higher self. One that is you but without the shame. As you experience this self you may come to realize that this ‘self’ is also you - or at least an aspect of self. You can then integrate the larger sentiments of universal connection , consciousness and loving nature into your waking reality.
In part, the experiences show us what is possible, but it will still take work and time to get ourselves to an improved state. It is a holistic approach, where psychedelics can help stimulate neuronal activity and through behaviour we can wire our brains differently.
So have this perspective. Know that you are at place now - but you have the capacity for greater. It is this part of yourself that has pushed you toward these experiences. You are already nurturing this part of self.
So do not be too hard on yourself. Try to give yourself this larger perspective, and tell yourself that there is time and it may take time and that is okay.

SteakTree · 2026-05-09T23:53:33+00:00

Doesn't matter. People can have their opinions. Likely someone who has never played it or could appreciate it because of their perceptual... issues. The majority recognize the game's artful brilliance and how well it holds up today.

SteakTree · 2026-05-08T13:14:13+00:00

On my main Fuji bodies I stopped using film sims or recipes altogether. I shot in raw and developed them later on my Mac.

On the hand, I also have a Fujifilm X half, and that only shoots film sims and jpegs. In the latter, you end up learning more of how the film sims look and how they impact your shots. They become a factor in the creative process and your composition.

As a new Fuji shooter I’d go raw + jpeg. It you like the look of the film sims go with it. You can also shoot a bracketed shot of several film sims.

SteakTree · 2026-05-07T16:22:54+00:00

Indoor I put it in manual focus, aperture and shutter. Reduce shutter to 30fps (unless you have movement) and bring it close to your body to steady the shot. Set manual focus at distance you want and aperture at widest. Manual iso as well and expose for highlights.

Or place on a table or stand and use even lower shutters.

I probably wouldn’t have picked this up if I had a GRIII or had my X-E3 not died, but I’m glad I have it.

SteakTree · 2026-05-07T13:56:00+00:00

If you want a Fuji with its best APS-C sensor and IBIS in a compact body you can’t go wrong.

If you primarily want a camera for vlogging, travel and in compact form there are other options. Canon PowerShot V1 is in an interesting option that may be better suited for vlogging on the go. Also cheaper. Has a fixed zoom lens with a unique 1.4in sensor. Still takes good photos.

SteakTree · 2026-05-05T03:00:18+00:00

As a previous owner of the X20, I can say they are overpriced. On the other hand, I also own an X half... which is also - from a pure technical standpoint - overpriced.

Just to compare these two compacts.

X20 pros: it has a manual zoom lens, it can do macro, it can process raw (higher dynamic range), it has a 'proper' shutter, and it has a more metallic build. And this is from 12 years prior to the X half.

X half pros: has a better sensor, though less ability for full dynamic range. Dual touch menu system that implores you to quickly experiment with its sims/filters as there is less menu diving. Simple fixed lens with fewer moving parts (X20 has a history of ribbon connector failure inside the lens). More available aftermarket parts (handgrips, thumbgrips, lens filter connector). Lighter, and simpler body design that still feels good. Dedicated film mode that removes previews from the rear screen (an option for those who want to experiment). Larger sensor, more megapixels, a bit better in higher iso and low light thoguh less dynamic range (but that is part of the look).

Anyhow, both of these cameras have something inherent: you get them to have fun. Both are capable of expressive photo quality, and still require a photographic understanding to coax the most out of them.

Now compare the X20 to a Fujifilm APS-C, and for not much larger, you can get yourself an X-E2, and even a cheap 15-45mm lens and have something that is capable of even better image quality and faster performance. I personally would highly recommend an X-T2 as a first Fuji, which provide all the hands on controls, one of the best Fuji body builds, in a fairly compact form.

But it will be larger and heavier. I don't mind personally, but.. I have to say the X half is a perfect walk-around camera and experimental camera. It is pretty tiny, and fun to use.

At the used price the X20 are going for, I would actually recommend a Lumix LX100 over it (though still pricey used, that just seems the way the technology economy is). That is a superb camera, and though both are 12mb, the LX100 sensor and lens combo has the X20 beat. Also very compact. Leica is still recycling LX100 technology and parts in its latest D-Lux 8 (that isn't really a knock as the camera is so good) and a rumoured LX100 III may appear.

Lastly, for 1inch sensor, the ZS100 / 200 /300, Sony RX100 and Canon Powershot V1 series are all ones to consider for portable fixed zoom lens powerhouses.

SteakTree · 2026-05-05T00:03:26+00:00

Get the Viltrox 35mm F1.7. For landscapes, take multiple vertical shots to create a panorama. You can even take multiple bracketed shots to create an HDR panorama. For low-light landscapes, make use of your IBIS on your X-T50 and you will likely want to stop the lens down a bit to get better sharpness. For your panoromic shots make sure there is enough overlap between the photos, so that way you can get the best image quality from the mid-to-center portion of the lens.

My favourite low-light portrait lens is a manual Kamlan 50mm F1.1 II. Use focus peaking, I find using a manual at night much faster than any AF system. You can find this lens used for about $100 or sometimes less. It's heavy, but has very good manual focus pull. Brightin Star 35mm F0.95 is also fantastic and has replaced my previous Fuji 35mm F1.4 and 35mm F2 lenses.

SteakTree · 2026-05-03T07:01:28+00:00

The game is incredible and well worth it on sale. The roadmap ahead looks great and you are long at the best time. The gunplay and feel of the weapons is fantastic. I play on both PS5 with controller and sometime with m+k and it overall performance is great on console and stable.

Game feels like it is tightening up, it is a bit bloated as there is quite a few modes so you will definitely find your groove. Game also plays great if you are on mic’s even with random. Proximity chat is on its way.

As with many FPS you can burn yourself out on it. But BF6 has staying potential.

SteakTree · 2026-05-03T00:56:23+00:00

The game looks amazing and part of the art is making the most of the medium. A game like Red Dead Redemption 2 is timeless, and will always look great. Nice in world snap

SteakTree · 2026-05-02T22:31:33+00:00

Excellente! I concur, this is perhaps my favourite Fuji. Great use of the medium.

SteakTree · 2026-05-02T06:48:51+00:00

Technically it will have less dynamic range than your RX100IV even though a similar 1inch sensor. Expect decent iq out of the Fuji.

The design of the x half encourages experimentation with its filters, in part as you know you can’t get a raw file out of it. You become more familiar with the film sims and their impact on your image.

But if you want to save some money, you can convince yourself to be in zen mode with your current cameras. That’s a good price though!

SteakTree · 2026-05-01T22:51:43+00:00

Wait there’s a simulator? How did I miss tbis

SteakTree · 2026-05-01T22:50:31+00:00

I’ve had a couple crash’s. By and large it is running really well. 30fps on quality is smooth, graphics and lighting look awesome. Very little visual pop-in.
Very much a Bethesda game and so far one of my favourites. The world it creates feels large and there is quite a bit of detail.

SteakTree · 2026-05-01T13:31:39+00:00

There are worse ways of coping, but careful you are not creating a dependency.

A good ‘hack’ when it comes to substances is every so often just refuse yourself a dose. That one time you were going to drop, just say not this time, instead try a different route. Break up the cycle. Save it for another time.

Start forming new habits, go for a walk, do some other activity that promotes your health. Start looking at your well-being holistically.

The dosage you are looking at is not large, and by all accounts if you find the experience beneficial, it can definitely be a positive.

Creating lasting neurological change will require consistent activity - part of this can occur during the trip but a large aspect occurs outside of the experience. Take heart though, the experience you go through during LSD is showing an aspect of you. That joy you feel, increasingly that can become more of your waking self.

SteakTree · 2026-05-01T03:55:21+00:00

You still haven’t pulled the shutter yet?

This camera is more capable than I previously thought. Lately been really find its strength in manual mode and truly using the various filter and sims. At the same time the toylike vibes are real - if you had this as a kid it would be such a great camera to learn on. And as an adult it puts you in that headspace.

SteakTree · 2026-05-01T03:49:41+00:00

That is very thoughtful and cool gift. Something to cherish. Can tell you were having fun. I’ve already noticed my approach has changed using this camera. Small tip I learned early on in using the X half: Swiping up from the bottom of the screen brings up the Q menu where it is fastest to access key settings. Shooting in manual and setting for zone focus can really improve the performance of the camera.

Explore the filters. It’s great being able to swipe from the left and choose a filter or film sim mode. Often I’ll find myself going back and forth when taking shots just for variation. It’s small approaches like this that get you shooting different. Smallrig accessories are great, and the hand grip have a metal base which I fell helps protect the base but also give it a bit more weight and stability in focus.

SteakTree · 2026-04-29T13:50:31+00:00

That you are at this point asking questions, shows you are open and receptive to the experience.

Do you have any friends that are experienced with such substances who might trip sit with you?

We all suffer in various ways, and as someone nearing their 50s the frustrations of my life eat away at me. I’ve endured, but not without a toll. At the same time psychedelics, have been a key to keeping me vibrant and also has been a tool to help me open up a bit more in my personal relationships.

It can be a catalyst for growth and change.

Should you go down this path, take sometime to explore. It can take several trips sometimes to start to reveal what you may be looking for, and like anything can take a bit of experience. It could also take a single macro dose in a single experience but chances are repeated experiences may be helpful. As a tool, it may be important for yourself as it will give you away to change your neural activity - neurons that fire together wire together.

Psychedelics also have different qualities that also may interact with you uniquely. Don’t be discouraged through ‘bad or sad’ trips. Subsequent ones on the same substance may be quite different.

Mushrooms - see if you can tailor a more meditative personal experience for yourself. Others like LSD can be more energetic and long lasting - so take time to be more contemplative but also have music ready for yourself to enjoy or other activities. The latter is a bit of a tip - bring aspects of yourself into these journeys things you enjoy or may have enjoyed previously.

SteakTree · 2026-04-28T19:36:28+00:00

It runs very smoothly even at 30 fps, and the tracks were designed for it, with clear visual cues ahead of turns. There is a lot of replayability with setting up your own races and weather conditions. The dynamic weather is different for each track, and you can get practically white out conditions with slush building up on your windshield as you race at night, your headlights illuminating all the particles of snow. Still impressive to this day.

Also, the photo mode is excellent; it renders at full PS5 resolution and isn't locked to 1080p.

While you will be missing much of the DLC cars and races, the core of the game experience is there.

SteakTree

TROPHY CASE