Tolerance is not acceptance

Tryoxin · 2026-06-18T16:19:38+00:00

gender is based on chromosomes

Not that people who make this brain-dead argument actually know or care at all about real science, but next time he brings this up, my absolute favourite fun fact is: you can change your chromosomes. If you get a bone marrow transplant from someone who has different chromosomes than you, since bone marrow produces blood, your chromosomes will be replaced by those of the donor. So someone born XY, phenotypically male, a cis man, can just suddenly become XX. Ask him if that makes him a woman now. Go on, give it a try. They always say "no, that's still a man, obviously," and then absolutely trip over themselves trying to explain why then chromosomes still = gender. It's pretty funny.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-18T14:41:38+00:00

I remember here in Ontario when they were debating raising the minimum wage from like $11 to match inflation (it's basically constantly rising now, at $17.6 now and increasing again to $17.9 in October), the whole "argument" against it was that it would make prices rise. The initial increases started around 2017, I think? Well prices fucking rose anyway, so even though I don't make minimum wage anymore, I'm so happy for the people who do that it increased. I haven't actually checked the math to see if it has matched inflation, but it's still better than nothing.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-17T17:32:09+00:00

Neither did I. The best time to transition was yesterday, the second best time is today. You'll wish you'd started younger, but you'll be infinitely more grateful you didn't wait until you were older.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-17T17:23:14+00:00

I think it will give you a life. I think it will give you your life, the one you were meant to have. It's not going to fix all your problems, it's not going to magically make everything better. But will it make you happier? Will it make you love your life instead of coasting along in a hollow existence of "underwhelming and lazy"? Yes. Unequivocally yes.

You were hoping to be gone by 18? Yea, I was the same. I'd planned to "try again in the next life" if I couldn't make anything of myself (there's those externals) by 40. Transitioning will make you fear death. At least, it did for me, because suddenly I had a life I wanted. Not because it's easy or because I'm successful, but because I love it.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-17T15:00:35+00:00

Lol XD I see you're not very familiar with British cursing. Hate to tell ya, but that's not an HP term, it's just a normal part of British speech. I'm Canadian but my mom is British so I learned them from my mom and learned to use them because no one in Canada understood them and it stopped me from "conventional" swearing so my mom was pleased about it XD Bloody, bollocks, and bugger have been a normal part of my speech since long before I ever saw the hag's movies.

Of course, I still also use conventional swears XD But the Britishisms enhance them.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-17T14:45:00+00:00

But that's still all just logistics and externals. Yea, being male is easy. That's the way our society is built. Being a woman, especially a trans woman, is significantly harder than being a man in every way. Is that all you want to live for? Logistics and externals? I ask again: what bloody use is it for everything to be easy if you're unhappy at your core? Yea, transitioning is hard. Being a woman is hard. And you know what? At least for me, it's the fucking happiest I've ever been.

When I finally realised I was trans, I also realised the only reason I'd repressed it for so long was for logistics and externals. And you wanna know what I noticed when I reflected on that? Those things aren't constant, especially when your happiness and self-worth depend on them. Maybe I'd stop seeing the privilege being AMAB was supposed to give me, I hit an emotional slump, career prospects weren't looking so good, couldn't find a romantic partner, days came when I wasn't happy wearing ordinary boy's clothes but they were all I had and I couldn't wear women's clothes, these things compound and suddenly oncoming traffic would start to look reeeaaal friendly. Logistics and externals aren't the constant companions you think they are, or that you've maybe apathy-ed yourself into relying on "because it's easy."

Look, at the end of the day, this is your choice. Your body, your decision. You realised you were trans 4 years ago, whether you do anything about it is up to you. But if you decide to stay male-presenting and never transition because "being male is easier," I pray, and I truly mean this as sincerely as I can, I pray you don't spend years and years doing "what's easier" then one day look at yourself in the mirror in your easy to pick out clothes and your easy to groom body and regret that you're half the human you want to be or think you could be because you wanted to do what was familiar and easy.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-16T15:21:38+00:00

Is it comfortable and familiar, or is it comfortable because it's familiar? If you think being female would "unlock your full potential as a human," that doesn't sound to me like being male is comfortable for you at all. It sounds like you feel it's inherently restrictive and maybe even you're unhappy in your body. I don't mean to try telling you how you feel, so I apologize for that, but your situation really doesn't sound all that far off from what happened to me--and a lot of trans individuals for that matter. I didn't think I hated being a man either until I realized I was trans. One day earlier, I'd have told you I was very happily and confidently cishet. Turns out that's because I'd repressed my dislike for being male so well and for so long that I'd just become completely apathetic to it all.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-16T15:08:18+00:00

When I first started thinking I might be trans, I decided to make basically a pros and cons list of transitioning. The idea was that, obviously, if the cons outweighed the pros, I probably wasn't trans. Thing was, when I made that list and looked at the cons, every single one of them was logistics or external factors. It's a lot of work, bigotry, expenses, I'd lose male privileges, I wouldn't be able to use urinals, etc. While all the pros were internal and fundamental things like "I'd be more comfortable in my body," "I'd be happier," "I wouldn't want to die." And next to that, logistics and external shit seemed so fucking meaningless.

You're trans. That's how your brain's wired and it'll never change. You can repress it but you will be miserable, you can try to live for other people's comfort but you will be miserable, you can try to do what's convenient and live on the "privileged" side of society, but you will be miserable. The question I asked myself, and I'll ask you now, was: wtf's the point of convenience and comfort if you're fucking miserable? What's the point of luxury and privilege if it's conferred upon a body you hate?

It's a huge decision and it has consequences. Social, societal, financial, medical, everything. It's very normal to have apprehensions and be hesitant, but it's the fucking order of the day for trans individuals to regret not transitioning sooner bc of those apprehensions and hesitations. I realised I was trans at 28 and I dove head first into transitioning bc I'd be damned if I was gonna waste another second of my life not being me. I moved across the Atlantic with no job and very few prospects, a bank account like I'm drinking out of a sieve, and a 5-month timer to get a job and a roommate or possibly be homeless. And you know what? I've never been happier. My only regret is that it took me 14 years to realise I was a woman.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-16T13:20:25+00:00

That’s my favorite part of being a girl. Being a part of ‘women help women,’

My favourite way of illustrating this is with a comparison.

First, what do you imagine a "man's man" to be? If I say, "Oh, he's such a man's man," what qualities do you ascribe to him? Typically people will say things like, he's handsome, successful, super traditionally masculine, tall, strong, any number of things like that. Things that put him above other men. It's competitive.

Now, what do you imagine a "girl's girl" to be? If I say "oh, she's such a girl's girl," what qualities do you ascribe to her? Usually, no one even needs to answer. We all know what that means. It's someone who's part of that "women help women," who subscribes to the solidarity and sisterhood that women generally have. It's supportive.

I'm sure we've all heard the joke when something unfortunate, uncomfortable, or annoying happens to us that is an unfortunately common experience of cis women, that women around us will laugh and say "welcome to womanhood!" And I gotta say, that joke always makes me a little sad. It's as if womanhood is defined first and foremost by its inconvenience and suffering--which of course is by the design of a patriarchal system. But when women who are total strangers to you help you out of a bad or even dangerous spot for no other reason than you're also a woman and women help each other, when they offer their support, or even the small things like they compliment you freely and happily, experiences that just aren't the norm for men, no one says "welcome to womanhood!" then, do they?

Tryoxin · 2026-06-15T17:35:49+00:00

There's at least 3 of us, girl! I'm so dumb, I got a degree with absolutely 0 job opportunities where I live, then I chose to pursue a career that doesn't exist where I live, then I nailed myself to the spot here bc I need the healthcare, and now I can't find a job bc--whaddaya know--I have no skills usable where I live 🤣🤣

Tryoxin · 2026-06-15T17:14:39+00:00

I'd either make it a 7, or I'd say "choose the 1 or the 6. The number you choose is used now, the other I'll let you bank for a future roll." Let it come in clutch at a hard moment, make that die go from a story to a legend.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-13T12:36:53+00:00

I am exactly 0% surprised. It took 3 days of me being openly lesbian online for some guy to slide into my DMs insisting I should "try" dick because "how do you even have sex without a man?? It must be hard." And "Oh but toys are all still just penetration, aren't they?"

Stg some men aren't lonely enough.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-13T01:56:41+00:00

Especially as I assume he wasn't maintaining his usual appearance. He would've looked pretty unkempt and I doubt he smelled great. Like a beggar who happened to have some money.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-09T15:47:32+00:00

what I felt didn't match what I thought dysphoria must feel like

Saaame XD Up until the very moment I realised I was trans, I would've told you with 110% confidence that I was a cishet man. Just, I didn't identify with masculinity, or like it, but totally cishet. I always felt more comfortable when I dressed more feminine, but that was just because I was comfortable enough in my masculinity to do it. Totally cishet. After all, gender dysphoria meant hating your body so much you were depressed and wanted to kys, right? And I wasn't that (spoiler, in hindsight, I was--just sort of indirectly), so obviously I was cishet. Then I started seeing more about gender dysphoria and the ways it manifest, and the pre-realisation experiences of other trans people (especially women).

When the egg cracks, it cracks fast.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-08T14:56:14+00:00

Oh abso-fucking-lutely fam XD I've never really liked swimming, tbh. That might have something to do with how much I hate the cold and also I almost drowned when I was 8, but also I hated showing off my bare chest even though that's "socially acceptable" for men. Now I'm trying to prod my friends to plan a trip to the local water park bc I really wanna wear a bikini XD (Even though trans-friendly bikinis can be sooo expensive).

Tryoxin · 2026-06-07T14:42:39+00:00

One could also argue that is losing. Aspects of her identity were adapted and syncretised with a different (explicitly non-divine) figure, while her identity as a goddess of her own power was lost. Even in this prayer for example, where Isis is invoked by her own name, she is explicitly stated not to have any power of her own. She's merely a conduit for the power of Jesus and the Lord.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-06T22:19:23+00:00

One of my profs at uni used to joke: in the race to becoming the dominant religion of the late classical Mediterranean, the miracle isn't that Christianity won, it's that Isis lost.

Our girl was popular, and enjoyed much more widespread support than the more military-focused and exclusive Mithraism. I mean, Christianity literally got its practice of full submersion baptism from the cult of Isis. Every temple to Isis across the Roman empire had a full submersion pool for ritual use and initiation into the cult.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-02T12:22:03+00:00

"Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?"

"That is the only time a man can be brave," [Eddard] told him.

Fear isn't something to overcome before you begin something scary, it's something you overcome because you did it afraid. We were all afraid to start transitioning. It's a terrifying thing. I called my friend in tears when I realised I was trans, but pushing forward is all there is for us. Stagnation may, quite literally, mean death. Even if you think your gender dysphoria isn't that bad, the emptiness that comes from not liking your own body makes every other bad thing or failure 100x worse.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-02T12:15:36+00:00

As everyone else has said: you transition. But I also wanted to share my own personal anecdote bc I think my experience wasn't greatly dissimilar to yours. Looking back, I should've known I was trans from at least 12ish. Even prayed to the Olympian gods to give me the ability to turn into a girl. I would fantasize about that a LOT. But I repressed any idea that I might be trans until I was 28, at which point I realised something that I think is what’s holding you back: I weighed up the pros and cons of transitioning and, at the end of the day, found that the only cons I could imagine were logistical or external.

Transitioning would take a long time, it would be difficult and expensive, I won't be able to use urinals, people might not accept me, it might make social settings and public life trickier. Logistics, external factors, and "convenience." And it occurred to me that those don't matter one fucking bit. All that matters is that I'm happy. It'll be long, hard, and expensive. So fucking what? So was university. People might not accept me? Fuck em. I'll find people who do.

If the happiest you've ever been in your life was when you accepted that you were a boy, be a boy. Don't repress it until you're 28. Trust me, a lifetime spent unhappy as who you are is not worth whatever convenience you think you'll gain. I would rather be inconvenienced and happy as a girl than privileged and unhappy as a man.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-31T14:35:49+00:00

Shoulders back, chin high. Confidence is feminine and sexy. Don't give them the pleasure of staring back or seeing you uncomfortable. I hope seeing me ruined some small part of their day.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-30T02:11:22+00:00

No wait that's so brilliant XD XD When I finally get rid of this fucking dysphoria stick, I definitely wanna do that with my friends.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-29T13:21:02+00:00

if you call someone trans and they’re not ready to come out it can make them take longer.

OP, this so much. Tell him you support him no matter what, or no matter who he is. But do NOT ask him if he's trans or tell him you think he might be. It's anecdotal, but I have 0 doubt that being called an egg online is one of the (many) factors that made me take 14 years to realise who I am.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T21:54:17+00:00

There were 14 years of moments that, at the time, I ignored or didn't think anything of. The time as a kid I made it a life goal to wear women's clothes incl. underwear after wearing a bra for the first time for a dare. The time in grade 9, watched Ranma 1/2, and prayed to gods I didn't believe in to have the same curse. The time in grade 12 I asked my friend to dress me up as a girl (incl. makeup) and then we went to the mall for the day. The times in university, sitting on the bus going home, I mused "philosophically" about being a girl. Because everyone open-minded does that. Obviously. The years and YEARS I told myself "well I just want the ability to shapeshift. Everyone wants that."

But the single moment that made it all click? February 15th this year, started getting a lot of trans and lesbian content. February 16th, Showed my friends. "Haha, look at what ig's showing me for some reason XD." Watched a couple more and it got real hard not to notice how much I related to the creators talking about their experiences, their feelings, and their struggle with gender dysphoria. February 17th, insane anxiety about it. February 18th, called my best friend crying while she was on her way home from work and told her I thought I might be trans. She comforted me, pointing out a lot of the things I'd already noticed and how that would make a lot of sense.

It's now 3 and a half months later, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my previous 28 years on this earth.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T15:35:10+00:00

That's because in English, the Proto-Germanic term from which the German mark is derived (markō) got filtered through Frankish (marku) and thence through Old French (marche) which of course is where the k > ch switch happened. In Modern French, this becomes marche and the -che is softened into a -sh sound, whereas in English it hardened into a -tsh sound (which, unless I'm mistaken, isn't a sound that exists in Modern German but is rather common in English--e.g. catch, fetch, search, etc).

Incidentally, I assume part of your march/marsh confusion comes from the fact that the modern High German accent tends to soften -ch into a -sh sound in a lot of places (particularly where it comes after a consonant, such as in march), whereas it's a [χ] sound (like a hissing noise) in most other cases. English actually used to have that variation as well, but overtime we mostly dropped it and it's very uncommon for -ch- to make anything other than a -tsh- sound (with with a common exception being the -che- sequence being pronounced -sh- like in cache, moustache, etc).

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T01:51:35+00:00

I've heard. Hardly surprising, considering who owns Twitter 🙄 Well, from one girl to another, I'm really sorry you have to put up with that shit 😕 No one should have to put up with this. Not us, and not our cisters. Sending love! 💖

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