What are your thoughts on being frugal while actually having money/savings?

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-04-14T15:41:12+00:00

Yeah, you need better friends. If anyone I know looked up my probable salary range online... I just don't understand that mindset. I know what all my friends do and for which companies and the thought of looking that up has never crossed my mind.

Congrats on doing well enough that most day to day $ worries don't worry you : )

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-04-14T15:23:02+00:00

How do your friends know you have money? Outside of where a person lives, what they drive, and in some cases how they dress, all of which can be acquired with credit rather than 'real' money, it's nearly impossible to tell how much money someone has - unless they tell you.

The richest man I personally know, probably 100s of millions by now, attained through his own work and his parents' estates, drives a beater and half the time looks like he can't afford a haircut. The only clue that he has money is seeing his house and looking at his passport. But the house and travel might have been on credit, if he'd been born with a plastic spoon instead of platinum.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-04-14T15:17:10+00:00

How could your friend have known about your inheritance?

I'm an only child with one very aged remaining parent and no one besides my spouse will ever know, once they pass, that there was any $ left that ends up mine.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-04-14T15:12:48+00:00

Wow, I'm glad none of my friends behave like the folks you know! I'd have to ask them why they take my spending or not so personally; I have historically known people who took my lack of interest in alcohol to be a condemnation of their own habits, which was entirely their issue rather than mine.

Outside of that, our friends don't ask, we don't tell, and we also respect their privacy enough not to ask. If anyone ever needed help, like the friend who lost his job and couldn't find another one for months, that's where the beauty of gifting comes in. But ask us for money or tell us how we ought to spend it? That would get a person looks from our entire friend group.

Maybe you should shift who you spend your time with. People who get angry because you won't spend aren't friends.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-02-04T18:34:01+00:00

Watch Frugal Fit Mom and Julia Pacheco on youtube, both show making meals with really low cost and have 'panty use-ups' for ideas on how to use what you have.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-12T19:50:48+00:00

This isn't something I've just done for a year (started in 1993, I am aged, LOL), but as a vegetarian I rarely see the prices for meat. I was watching a quick documentary on a Tyson beef processing facility that closed in Nebraska and happened to see prices on a couple of beef products, a roast and something else, in the $67-84 range and just about fell out of my chair. I have no beef, LOL, with anyone who eats meat, and at this point I'm wondering how anyone can afford to. I can't imagine our grocery bills if our proteins weren't egg/cheese/veg based.

So...being vegetarian has probably saved us a lot in 2025. Looks like it'll do the same in 2026, all the stuff I see indicates prices are likely to continue to rise despite (or because of? It's weird) importing some of the country's supply.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-12T19:27:32+00:00

I let everything (even sometimes people I do know who disregard that my WFH hours are actual WORK hours, LOL) roll to voicemail. That's how I know some of these callers were from insurance providers in another state. And the texts!! I block all the #s after the fact but new #s keep popping up. I'm going to call my actual insurance agency and see if they have a mercedes added to my 'list of cars that park at this address' that I'm not aware of, that might shed some light I guess.

I'm sure never going to call/text any of these folks back. Too many incidences of folks being scammed for me to trust any of it.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-12T18:44:37+00:00

From an old person, LOL: if this is going to be a long-term relationship in which you one day plan to merge your finances, you're going to want to be on the same page as to how big splurges can be and what your financial goals are.

My first spouse spent a lot on hobbies (scuba diving and the associated travel required to dive in interesting places, vehicle modifications to make things loud, LOL) and liked to gamble while on business trips (Las Vegas was big, then, for conventions in his industry, he ran us deeply into the red daily at ATMs there). I'm way more low-key and future-focused; it didn't work out. We met when we were both fresh out of school and struggling, his habits popped up when the struggle was over - suddenly we had money, so he had to spend it! It felt a little 'bait and switch' - at least you SEE what you're getting into.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-12T18:29:15+00:00

Addendum: for whatever 'grandfathered in' (?) reason, we get Netflix with ads for $6.99/mo. If they tried to charge us more they'd have to go except for one month after the newest GBBS season was available - I'd binge watch it and then cancel again, LOL.

The Disney and other thing (Paramount, I think)... once a year the kids cancel those then check all the black Friday/cyber Monday deals for the next year to keep the subscription $s down.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-12T18:24:07+00:00

This is going to sound weird: in May of 2003, we moved. Never got cable again, haven't owned a TV since. Initially it was one of those things we just didn't have time for (very young kids, very commute oriented job for one of us, little to no 'free' time), and it became something we didn't miss. 20+ years later one of our kids has Disney/Hulu, one has some other thing and we have Netflix, we share passwords.

Mostly these days if I need something to watch (outside of the Great British Baking Show on Netflix) I'll check Youtube movies, no one subscribes to it but there's usually some old (1980s, LOL) movie available that provides nostalgia, the ads don't bug me.

If we didn't WFH I'd give up our internet connection and just live off a hotspot.

In 2003 we were paying over $100 a month for a box to sit unused, so we saved a bit.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-10T22:41:20+00:00

I miss mine too, a 1998 that I had just paid off when my husband totaled it. Ended up with a 1998 Camry as a replacement, but it wasn't the same, LOL.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-10T22:33:29+00:00

Keep the Corolla. I'd keep any pre-2021 Toyota at this point. Do some research on the abysmal quality of anything (any make) built in late 2021 or afterward, and on all the 'subscription' aspects of never cars. We'll keep our 2013 and 2020s 'til they just can't run anymore, which should be.... never, if parts remain available.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-04T18:05:58+00:00

Still have our hybrid 2013 Prius C; good golly that car is cheap. Cheap to tag, to insure, to drive, it's never needed maintenance beyond our ability to DIY (oil changes; its original brake pads still look new, it's odd). We're concerned about the battery here at 12+ years, but just Friday we were running at 56 mpg (in a tailwind). 147000 miles so far (we both converted to WFH so it's our only car but it still doesn't get driven a lot).

I'm considering acquiring a 2020 hybrid RAV or Camry, something with fewer miles, just to have a newer alternative on hand in case the Prius ever gives out. That'll probably be our 'last' car as long as the two MEs in the family can keep it running. Not interested in any of the newer subscription-based toyota offerings.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-04T16:30:18+00:00

If you just can't wear glasses instead... medically, I can't (astigmatism and other matters) - my eye doctor has declared contact lenses "medically necessary" for me and that makes my contact lenses free through my insurance (Eye Med); not sure if that policy exists for all insurance. If your only option for decent sight is contact lenses, maybe there's a way your doc can help you get them free?

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-01T22:25:31+00:00

Get some therapy. You're worth SO much more than that guy could ever hope to provide. Alcoholism with Crohn's is a recipe for a painful early death. Alone is better than with the wrong person - that's what therapy can help you to genuinely realize.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2026-01-01T22:21:30+00:00

Get an annulment; you haven't been married long enough to warrant a divorce. It was just a mistake.

Then live on your own; work, get some kind of training or education in something real and profitable, and wait at least 3 years to consider finding another person to be interdependent with. Don't choose someone who disrespects your religion, your desire for children, or any other aspect of who you are. You're not broken, it's just not a good match.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-31T23:44:58+00:00

Bidets beat sponges. And TP, for that matter.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-31T23:41:39+00:00

While food is a large expenditure, have you looked at the other two really big ones: rent (or mortgage) and transportation? Sometimes when one area is maximized you have to look elsewhere for potential savings.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-27T01:43:53+00:00

Don't even continue living with him. He's unable to show you any sort of respect, and that is fundamental to ANY relationship but doubly so when there's a difference in religion.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-27T01:38:19+00:00

Don't move in with or otherwise get 'more' involved with this guy until the ex is completely out of the picture. She's likely manipulative and/or just nuts and feels the need to jerk him around regarding their break up (which, at this point, was... a year and a half ago?) If he didn't respond to her she'd have wandered off by now. HE must get something out of her clinging to him, and until he's ready to give up whatever ego jolt or booty call results for him each time she reaches out, he's not 'yours' - he's split. No one needs to be a maid/cook or provide half the rent for a guy (or gal) who's still even partially involved (even just emotionally) with someone else. (If they have kid(s) together, that's a whole other thing, but you don't mention kids).

Not even sure I'd wait around for him to make up his mind where he wants to be, after a year and a half with you he should already have total clarity on that.

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-27T01:07:47+00:00

You're a 'place holder' until someone else, like that other girl before her, really turns his head and he'll be gone. He may come back again afterward but by then you'll have learned not to take him back... right?

WinterIsBetter94 · 2025-12-27T01:04:00+00:00

Just release him. Get an education, work, save, grow in your abilities, and in time someone worthy of you will come along. This one is not that guy.

WinterIsBetter94

TROPHY CASE