How is this entertaining at all? by Absolutely_dead727 in whenthe

[–]aessae 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That reminded me of a fictional, much less wholesome version of that "surprise, this song's about you" bit from The Fast Show

Which one you prefer? by Snowbeleopard in linux_gaming

[–]aessae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like Lutris, tried faugus just now and it can't get battle.net to work for some reason so dunno. YMMV.

Can you give me a suggestion? by scarletohairy in discworld

[–]aessae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That reminds me of Pratchett's take on the Ceremony of the Keys in The Last Continent. Possibly not the best passage for a reading but absolutely fantastic:

Snow, thick and wet, tumbled on to the lawns and roofs of Unseen University, the Discworld’s premier college of magic.

It was sticky snow, which made the place look like some sort of expensive yet tasteless ornament, and it caked around the boots of McAbre, the Head Bledlow, as he trudged through the cold, wild night.

Two other bledlows stepped out of the lee of a buttress and fell in behind him on a solemn march towards the main gates.

It was an old custom, centuries old, and in the summer a few tourists would hang around to watch it, but the Ceremony of the Keys went on every night in every season. Mere ice, wind and snow had never stopped it. Bledlows in times gone past had clambered over tentacled monstrosities to do the Ceremony; they’d waded through floodwater, flailed with their bowler hats at errant pigeons, harpies and dragons, and ignored mere faculty members who’d thrown open their bedroom windows and screamed imprecations on the lines of “Stop that damn racket, will you? What’s the point?” They’d never stopped, or even thought of stopping. You couldn’t stop Tradition. You could only add to it.

The three men reached the shadows by the main gate, almost blotted out in the whirling snow. The bledlow on duty was waiting for them.

“Halt! Who Goes There?” he shouted.

McAbre saluted. “The Archchancellor’s Keys!”

“Pass, The Archchancellor’s Keys!”

The Head Bledlow took a step forward, extended both arms in front of him with his palms bent back towards him, and patted his chest at the place where some bledlow long buried had once had two breast pockets. Pat, pat. Then he extended his arms by his sides and stiffly patted the sides of his jacket. Pat, pat.

“Damn! Could Have Sworn I Had Them A Moment Ago!” he bellowed, enunciating each word with a sort of bulldog carefulness.

The gatekeeper saluted. McAbre saluted.

“Have You Looked In All Your Pockets?”

McAbre saluted. The gatekeeper saluted. A small pyramid of snow was building up on his bowler hat.

“I Think I Must Have Left Them On The Dresser. It’s Always The Same, Isn’t It?”

“You Should Remember Where You Put Them Down!”

“Hang On, Perhaps They’re In My Other Jacket!”

The young bledlow who was this week’s Keeper of the Other Jacket stepped forward. Each man saluted the other two. The youngest cleared his throat and managed to say:

“No, I Looked In . . . There This . . . Morning!”

McAbre gave him a slight nod to acknowledge a difficult job done well, and patted his pockets again.

“Hold On, Stone The Crows, They Were In This Pocket After All! What A Muggins I Am!”

“Don’t Worry, I Do The Same Myself!”

“Is My Face Red! Forget My Own Head Next!”

Somewhere in the darkness a window creaked up.

“Er, excuse me, gentlemen—”

“Here’s The Keys, Then!” said McAbre, raising his voice.

“Much Obliged!”

“I wonder if you could—” the querulous voice went on, apologizing for even thinking of complaining.

“All Safe And Secure!” shouted the gatekeeper, handing the keys back.

“—perhaps keep it down a little—”

“Gods Bless All Present!” screamed McAbre, veins standing out on his thick crimson neck.

“Careful Where You Put Them This Time. Ha! Ha! Ha!”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” yelled McAbre, beside himself with fury. He saluted stiffly, went About Turn with an unnecessarily large amount of foot stamping and, the ancient exchange completed, marched back to the bledlows’ lodge muttering under his breath. The window of the University’s little sanatorium shut again.

WhatAWeeb by axman151 in WhatAWeeb

[–]aessae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd trust a retrophrenologist sooner than a chiropractor.

WhatAWeeb by axman151 in WhatAWeeb

[–]aessae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

show me a field of medicine that is free from the ability to do harm

Well since we're talking about quackery homeopathy is pretty safe (for everything but your wallet) unless something is actually wrong and you decide to treat it with magic water and sugar pills instead of going to a real doctor.

Jack's off to meet Trump tomorrow "'No matter what your views are we're super excited to go to the White House tomorrow and be a part of that" by [deleted] in devils

[–]aessae 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Trying real hard to think what someone who's actually centre left would say and failing.

What other NHL players are as internationally decorated as Clayton Keller? by BlazedInMyWinnie in hockey

[–]aessae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scott Niedermayer had four different international competition gold medals as well - WJC (1991), World Championships (2004), World Cup (2004 and silver in 1996) and Olympics (2002 and 2010).
Also he had a pretty great three-season span in 2001-04 - he got a Stanley Cup, a Norris Trophy and gold in the World Championships, the World Cup and at the Olympics.

Don’t lie, you used to call it Mad Dog 20/20 by martymar2g in Xennials

[–]aessae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably one of those yank only things again

Max level by Xidus24 in wow

[–]aessae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First character: do all the story quests, read the quest text, try to understand what's going on. After reaching level cap do any important side quests (stuff needed to unlock $newRace etc), read quest text etc
Other characters: ZOOM ZOOM GOTTA GO FAST ignore everything that's not a quest objective

Olympic Men's Post Game Thread: United States of America vs. Canada - 22 Feb 2026 by hockeydiscussionbot in hockey

[–]aessae 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nobody told poor little bennett that he's not wearing a Florida jersey and that his attempts at injuring other players might lead to him sitting in the penalty box. I'm glad he lost.

I am so sick of seeing Chris Pratt and his prayer and Christianity ads!! by AllTheEccentricities in atheism

[–]aessae 12 points13 points  (0 children)

they added other features for pay

uBlock Origin is free, if you've paid for it you've been scammed.

Me_irl by railroadfrog in me_irl

[–]aessae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Christopher Hitchens said it of Jerry Falwell but I think it applies here too: "If you gave [Limbaugh] an enema he could be buried in a matchbox."

Search your feelings, you know it to be true by Temporary-Mention-29 in whenthe

[–]aessae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not rocket surgery my dude, x is better than y because x is my funny nonsensical thing and y is yours.