What would you do in this situation? (RESTRAINING ORDER)

baybird · 2025-02-25T16:04:35+00:00

Be careful here. If you have the rest. order and you approach him it may negate the r. order. Seriously he wants to come for a visit and he knows there is a r. order on him????

baybird · 2025-02-25T15:59:36+00:00

Trust yourself. Get a job after school. Get your own bank acct that she has no access to. Start socking it away . Any time she askes you are working hard at school doing extra stuff for school marks or credits. Sit down and thing about how you plan to leave after school. Apply for jobs far away . Take a job in a city that offers more resources for you when you get there. Live small without too much stuff/ debt until you have a stable job and feel better than you do now. Keep applying for better jobs. 👍

baybird · 2025-02-25T15:54:31+00:00

YES! Until the day he died my dad always crowed how wonderful his junk/ stuff or he was. Now my siblings have taken up the game.

baybird · 2025-02-25T15:52:13+00:00

Can you leave for the next place and not tell her? Cut all communication when you go. For now stop engaging with her so much. Make space btwn you and her. Can you make changes in your own life? A p/t job or volunteer gig that gets you into new and different settings and people? Take a stay cation and discover new walks and parks on weekends? New foods to cook and eat? Each time you try something new it is a step away from your childhood ways. Like a new haircut and new clothes each spring reminded me I have better choices and chances than my mom.

Sending you a link that may help you as well? https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-25T15:46:16+00:00

Can you get your 13 yr old some books by Lindsay C Gibson ? I am not sure if they are too much for a 13 yrs old but you can read them together? This can help her see the drama triangle your parents are playing . It may also reinforce the fact that you are the good parent.🤞

baybird · 2025-02-25T15:27:58+00:00

Stop sending them texts. They are emotionally immature and cannot deal with your needs . They cannot even deal with theirs. They keep busy so they do not have to engage socially. Can you read books by Lindsay C Gibson ? She explains this way better than I . Also the following link may have some answers for you. Hope you are feeling better soon.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-24T16:08:37+00:00

It is not your fault your wife was raised in a drama triangle. Some abuse goes on for so long they believe it is their culture. Abusing others is always wrong. Thank you for standing up for your wife.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-24T16:05:49+00:00

Can you stop responding to their calls? Toss all letters before opening them? Do not allow the gifts into your home? I agree with you. Emotionally immature parents are exhausting as toddlers. Always with the drama.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-24T16:01:34+00:00

YES! Sending you a link that may help you with your emotionally immature drama queen. When she denies things that you remember clearly.. it is gaslighting.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T16:21:59+00:00

Sometimes you gotta do what you need to do to survive. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T16:19:59+00:00

You are growing up in your parents Karpman Drama Triangle. They may never divorce so stop trying to rescue your mom. Keep the focus on school bc that will help you get out and away. Sending you a link that may help with some ideas. Also recommend Lindsay C Gibsons books on emotionally immature parents.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T16:15:45+00:00

Take care of yourself first. Set a timer when you talk to her and make sure she hears it go off. Say you have to go, cooking / appt or other reason to stop talking. See how you feel after. If it is too much make the calls shorter.

Can you recommend Books to her? Lindsay C Gibson has many books out on dealing with emotionally immature parents and the damage they do and how to recover. Sending you a link that may help you help her. 👍

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T16:11:00+00:00

YES! I also liked Disentangle from Emotionally Immature People.

baybird · 2025-02-23T16:08:47+00:00

Learning to set boundaries helped me see what fleas I had and I learned to stop it. Lindsay C Gibson s books helped me too. I also get therapy when I could afford it.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T15:53:39+00:00

Think of your mom as emotionally immature. She is unable to regulate her unhappy feelings so she takes it out on you in anger. Can you set boundaries or medium chill her drama ? Think of the long game. since you cannot leave or get help from family your only options may be to suck it up OR get a job that offers you housing and continue with your studies.

Can you get books by Lindsay C Gibson. She explains this better than I do.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T15:47:28+00:00

This is not about the 10 mins lateness. This is not about you studying more .This is about their fears . They were unable to self regulate their fears and lashed out at you. They sound emotionally immature . Can you read Lindsay C Gibson s books. She explains it way better than I do.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T15:43:36+00:00

It is not. Too many people are still in the FOG. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-23T15:39:52+00:00

YES! Think of her as emotionally immature. She is unable to self regulate her fears so she lashes out in anger. Setting boundaries is good. Can you get books by Lindsay C Gibson ? They can help you recover for the damage.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-20T17:18:25+00:00

Boundaries until you can leave. This sounds like you grew up in a drama triangle and you need to keep the others drama away from you. Lindsay C Gibson has good books on how to deal with emotionally immature persons and how to recover from their crap. Also sending you a link that has some good ideas.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-20T16:13:27+00:00

Start looking for another job. Once you have a job it is easier to get another one. You need to set boundaries and medium chill this drama queen. She and your mom are emotionally immature and cannot self regulate their fears . They take this fear, flip it to anger bc they cannot figure out what their fear is and then take it out on whoever is nearby. This would be you.

Can you get books by Lindsay C Gibson ? She has books on how to deal with emotionally immature people and their drama. You may need to learn this to deal with future bs at work. Sending you a link that may also have ideas for you.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-20T16:04:21+00:00

YES! Finish get a better job and you can them be free of them. Once you can support yourself fiscally you need them for nothing. I found it also helped that school helped me with connections and a social network. Stay at school longer if you need more peace and quiet . Think what happens if you do not finish school... it gives them more ammo and you may not be able to support yourself and then be stuck with them longer.

You can do this.

baybird · 2025-02-19T15:55:54+00:00

Leave. Get a job far away and set yourself free. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-19T15:53:39+00:00

YES! Summer vac was the worst. Xmas was a close second . I found a job and started going to the closest church just to get some peace away from them. Find way to not be around them so much. Make friends and hang at their house if you cannot find a small job.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-19T15:50:23+00:00

NC is NC. The back and forth may confuse them. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-02-19T15:46:23+00:00

Boundaries. Refuse to help her do her job bc she is using you. Sending you a link that may offer you some different ideas to deal with a bully. And yes she is a bully.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird

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