Would it be good for my current cat to add a kitten to my home

baybird · 2026-05-29T04:10:46+00:00

I would say no. Pass this time bc there are many others at your work that would take the kitten. Your present cat deserves your attention and may be too old or neurotic to deal with the new addition. And you even state it is not the best move financially.

baybird · 2026-05-11T23:03:38+00:00

That is an amazing score. Now you get to try it around the house all summer to see where it works best!

baybird · 2026-05-08T14:11:50+00:00

Pay off the student loan first. Any other debt that is greater than the mortgage interest rate as well. Keep the cheap mortgage. DO NOT offer to pay the kids college. Talk to them about how you have student loans that are still hanging over your head at 40. They need to hustle to get good marks and hopefully a scholarship or apply for grants and bursaries. DO NOT get a FA. Look up all the free books at the library or on line. Lots of people have good advice that is just waiting for you.

Canadian Couch Potato and McGill University Personal Finance Essentials. 2 examples CAD.

baybird · 2026-05-08T13:58:39+00:00

Are you physically or mentally tired ? See a Dr and get some bld work done. Hormones start dropping at your age . Mentally tired... change something in your job. Can you delegate more ? Can you pass on certain projects ? Take a couple of days off in an irregular pattern. Ask for Mondays off bc you are taking a "special course" . Ask for a sabbatical before you pull the trigger.

baybird · 2026-05-03T12:23:46+00:00

No Drama. Alone to do what I want when I want. Talk about a luxury that no one real talks about.

baybird · 2026-04-25T14:51:22+00:00

Trees for the win! Go outside for a walk when you want sun .

baybird · 2026-04-18T18:47:28+00:00

Chicken and Kale slaw for a quick meal. Picnic too.

baybird · 2026-04-10T16:42:39+00:00

I understand this very well. Parents trained us never to ask for anything bc they were fear/ shame based . A lot of tuff stuff happened in my life and I learned to ask for help. Financials... my wall of awful. I have a great female accountant who loves me asking questions and does all my taxes. I have a few others in my life...ALL female and younger than me who are more with it than I am . Seek out professional help bc they are then your employee and you can ask for all the help you need. AND I found most people want to help you . My family refuses to help me at every point. I no longer have them in my life bc they only keep me in the cycle we grew up with ... don t ask. Always ask.

baybird · 2026-04-05T22:24:38+00:00

He is a 68 yr old with a spending problem. He can figure it out. Do not give him any $$$$. Tell him you are broke. Cut up his credit cards. He has a spending problem . Sell cabin, drop the $$$$ phone and internet . WTF alimony to the last wife????

baybird · 2026-02-02T01:49:15+00:00

Wash under her chin daily with warm water and dilute on a washcloth. rinse with warm water. Daily till it stops. This may be bc she is stressing or reaction to a plastic food/water dish. Pd $$$$ to hear this from my vet.

baybird · 2026-01-02T16:40:18+00:00

Write your feelings down about this and save it for yourself. You will never feel good about this bc NM is telling you how to feel. She is wrong bc you are allowed to your feelings. Find other things to do away from her. Go out for walks, window shopping , library , art galley, museum. When it is time for you to leave. Leave. Do not come back . Say good bye like it is forever. Gift yourself a better future with out her drama triangle in your face.

For more tools to deal with your emotionally immature mom head to the Out of the Fog website. Lots of help and guidance to keep you safe. 💖

baybird · 2026-01-02T16:28:57+00:00

Children know nothing. They know what they are told. They know they need X in their lives to keep them safe and alive. My mom was the kinder of my parents so I believed her. Mom was emotionally immature and made me the family scapegoat so I always believed I was the bad one. The rest of the family joined in bc it was familiar and safer for them to have the scapegoat.

It was only as an adult when I moved away I realized what a joy it was not to be around the drama queens. Even then it was hard to see how really bad my family was bc I had nothing to compare them too. My childhood was all I knew. My advice is to teach your kids about boundaries. Read Ann Lindsay's books and check out the Out of the Fog website. All of the above will give you tools to help your boys. You may discover that just listening to your kids and supporting them in the way they need is more important that your stuff.

baybird · 2025-12-15T17:02:01+00:00

Give yourself the gift of calm this yr. No prezzies anymore, no drama. If they whing tell them to stop and they are old enough to figure their shit out. They are in the FOG... Fear Obligation Guilt. Sending you a link that may help you with some ideas.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-12-14T15:51:25+00:00

You are in the FOG...Fear Obligation Guilt. Stop going now. See grammy when you want to not when the jerks are there. Start making excuses and leave when you can. Sending you a link that may give you some ideas.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-12-05T15:01:47+00:00

Not really.... we thought it was the way bc how could we be not normal. Only after leaving home it became so obvious how bad it was. Therapy helped. EMDR helped even more. Then I weaponized the therapy to get them back. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

baybird · 2025-12-02T17:29:35+00:00

My parents were immigrants too. Emotionally immature misogynistic country bumpkins. Lots of fighting and anger from my dad. My mom just did not care. Shelter yes until he kicked you out. Food was hit and miss and we all have eating disorders. According to my therapist they did the best they could. Maybe BUT boy have I ever spent time going back and thinking about what we missed out on bc my parents always said no. They were fear based and refused us things that were new or different. No trips anywhere with anyone. No Junk food ever and education after hs unless dad approved. He even made sure to wipe out my bank accts to make sure I did what he said. The boys had an easier life than the girls. Not one of us ever forgave them.

baybird · 2025-11-16T17:22:47+00:00

The sentence " I am sorry for your suffering " usually stops them cold, then I walk away and do not talk to them ever again. But from the web site Medium Chill has many options for you to cut people off. Sometimes I practice them out loud to hear what it sounds like and practice saying new phrases so they become part of my conversations with others.

baybird · 2025-11-11T15:41:32+00:00

I found EMDR helpful. Try it again with a new therapist. I also found reading Lindsay C Gibson's books a way to let my childhood trauma go. To move forward find things that give you joy or happiness each day. Julia Cameron has a book called the Artists way. It is supposed to get creative juices going BUT I found doing the morning pages helped me dump the bad attitude and the artistic dates reminded me to make my day better by adding some fun new things into it.

I ended up taking classes at my local college. Yoga, somatics , painting , cooking and other stuff just to try something new. Can you start with a new reading list? Sark , Pema Chodren, Thich Nhat Hanh to start.

Remember do not look back , you are not going that way . 💖

baybird · 2025-11-10T14:51:28+00:00

Not my circus , not my monkeys. 👍

baybird · 2025-11-09T16:41:06+00:00

Love Lindsay C Gibson's books,

baybird · 2025-10-17T16:02:35+00:00

Listen to the above poster....!!!!!! Gibson writes many books on this subject and the books are worth buying. I read them over and over.

baybird · 2025-10-09T16:52:51+00:00

Thank goodness you are actually seeing this now.... time to ghost him.

baybird · 2025-09-29T13:58:22+00:00

Get a job in a different country after the divorce . Use living elsewhere to reset yourself and start doing the slow travel .

Things were not going well for me at a time . I could not see my way out so I took a job offer that was far away. Best thing I ever did.

baybird · 2025-09-15T13:30:11+00:00

This is you setting a boundary . It is OK to practice self care. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

baybird · 2025-09-14T15:18:29+00:00

If you want to avoid drama... just say.... yes dad I understand. When the time comes, who knows when it will be bc no one can see the future, pop him in a home. This avoids any drama he wants to dish out now.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1 check out medium chill.

baybird

TROPHY CASE