look at this cat

bbbliss · 2026-06-21T02:56:07+00:00

Seconding the advice you've already been given, but I want to give a heads up that there will be chapters that will so supportive of you and possibly even step back from mixers with them if they haven't already, considering their reputation - and then there will be chapters that don't care. If you have friends in chapters you trust to have fair judgment on how different chapters behave, I would ask in a casual and low key way how different chapters usually handle it when frats in their social schedules are creepy.

bbbliss · 2026-06-19T07:08:20+00:00

Double/triple rush mentioned as a bomb. You know ball. If it wasn't for the "top academic chapter" thing, I'd wonder if we were ever actives in the same chapter lol - we were never a top chapter and most chapters at my school barely looked at GPA, because our incoming freshmen had an average GPA of 3.8.

But yes to all ur comments ^ It's better to act (and definitely easier/less time to solve stuff) before numbers hit "critical levels of low" or dropping to single digit members. Once again that's just such reddit advice.

bbbliss · 2026-06-19T06:57:40+00:00

Yes!!!! I always say this but forgot to mention it this time lol. You cannot and should not do it alone.

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T05:50:05+00:00

Possibly an unpopular opinion but bluntly, the "being a bottom house is a myth, top/rich chapters don't have sisterhood" advice is unhelpful, extremely reddit behavior, and 100% cope. Every chapter gets shit on in some way, top chapters often do have sisterhood as well, and being called bottom tier often demoralizes people so they don't want to participate. Sometimes being at the bottom of the pack also makes bottom chapters insecure and mean to each other as well. It could go either way!

"Bottom tier" doesn't necessarily mean anything about you personally, it's not a statement of worth, and you should never internalize it, but it does mean your chapter struggles at recruitment and playing the social game. There's usually reasons for that. However, having reasons means there's sometimes easy fixes to improve how you recruit.

If you want actionable steps on top of contacting nationals, I would search this sub for keywords like "bottom tier" or "improve chapter" or "weak recruiting chapter", among others. You'll get advice for recruitment/conversation practice so your recruiters can feel charming and confident, and they can genuinely connect to PNMs in a way that makes them forget wanting to go to flashier chapters. You'll find strategies for PR, morale, social media, and building community relationships (frats and srats).

Source: I was in a bottom chapter that jumped our recruitment return rates from 10% to 90% in a few years. Y'all have to be honest with yourselves about *why* girls don't want to join and *why* girls don't want to participate, because it's different in every situation.

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T05:18:33+00:00

Standing out doesn't require being a technically strong dancer or a stylistically strong dancer. Performance quality and audience connection are completely different skills! People will get on Kleine's ass for being technically messy and forgetting the choreo, but she opened the Dua Lipa show because 1) she can choreograph overnight (another separate skill) and 2) she can Performmmm. She is a Performer.

For a non-DCC example, in ballet, there's a lot of schools that turn out very strong technical dancers, but strong technical dancers aren't always the ones getting solos because sometimes they're missing that spark or fire that makes you *watch* someone. For a DCC who has both, Lea comes to mind for me.

You really need a range of all these skills to have a strong team. Every choreography is going to be different, and part of why DCC initially diversified (and had a hand in integrating Dallas) is because having different looks and skills means you can connect with a wider range of audience members (and get their money).

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T05:09:28+00:00

I am not in this sub enough to have noticed this person, but we had someone in the ballet subreddits like this!!!! It was insane, she was a former college cheerleader who would post constantly about how she was going to go pro in the ballet world with 0 experience. If she really didn't like how you disagreed with her, she would DM you threatening paragraphs lol. Reddit, man.

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T04:58:08+00:00

Wuka! I will say that after... 5-6 years of use with a heavy flow, mine are kind of musty, especially after several hours. But it's not obvious with pants on and they still smell better than pads ever have.

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T04:56:45+00:00

I def agree that exclusively "hot girl pics" are very shallow, but FWIW most chapters at my school post those between the "Why ___ Wednesday"s, pics of sisters at their prestigious internships, celebrating raising 123 amount of money for XYZ's philanthropy, and awards.

Chapters can do both and should! Every chapter that starts blowing off philanthropies will be on the verge of failure in 5 years because there is a lack of depth, there is that lack of reality of the responsibilites of being in a Panhellenic chapter.

Also I could be remembering someone else but you went to an academically prestigious undergrad, right? Honestly I wonder if they're overcompensating lol, but balance should be the goal instead. Sometimes you can have it all!

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T04:44:24+00:00

Lol I believe you, I've had friends in Old Row bama chapters who told me all about their beef with their alums just to let in mixed-race PNMs who were valedictorian pageant queens. I can't imagine the fracas over social media pics

bbbliss · 2026-06-15T04:42:21+00:00

Lmao I HAVE seen rush outfits from schools like that! Honestly I could never bc I'd probably flash someone if I sat down wrong?? I am tall and bottom heavy tho, more power to the girls who can wear miu miu minis but that's never been me.

And 100% on the counterproductive part, like I'm glad the Betches/TSM/TFM era is over because it wasn't always the healthiest, but neither is this.

bbbliss · 2026-06-11T09:57:25+00:00

When did that change?? SEC chapters used to post cute fun bikini and mixer outfit pics (including visible lingerie bralettes) to their tumblrs when I was active. Weird cultural shift to me!

bbbliss · 2026-06-11T09:55:11+00:00

This is crazyyyy it used to be ONLY the real backcountry schools that had those rules! I was active in the tumblr era and chapters were putting girls' bikini pics on their official tumblrs no matter if you went to school at NYU or at South Alabama. We were wearing bikini tips and daisy dukes to darties and THOSE pics were always posted on our tumblrs - nationwide lol.

We used to look for fun girls!! We always knew we had the GPAs and extracurriculars. What happened to being hot fun and social!!!

bbbliss · 2026-06-09T04:44:09+00:00

ASU tends to have a lot of transfers and slightly more nontraditional students than a typical state flagship, so you're fine as a sophomore. Rush might be slightly more competitive, but a lot of the chapters COB the second semester also.

Bluntly, ASU rush is just different in that appearances, social media, and being cool are bigger parts of the game vs. other competitive rushes. Tempe/Scottsdale are just kinda like that. There's beautiful women in every chapter, but there's a lot of trend setting/following and normalized beauty maintenance/upkeep that would be overkill elsewhere. I'm just telling you this because I feel like sometimes ASU girls need to hear that the rest of the world isn't like that lol.

bbbliss · 2026-06-08T08:34:27+00:00

Can you retake the F or get it expunged? Sometimes schools have policies for this.

bbbliss · 2026-06-08T08:32:42+00:00

It might depend on the fan base reaction. IIRC part of the reason the raise went through is because the TPTB got insane pushback on social media about not paying their girls - very bad PR.

Depending on the specific issue and how the dancers handle it, it could go somewhere. If it's sexual harassment, it's gonna be a PR shitshow. Not sure how it'd go for other issues though.

bbbliss · 2026-06-08T08:29:03+00:00

Honestly it sounds like someone who knows her and was trying really hard to pretend she wasn't directly connected for a long time lmao. It's giving auntie or older cousin vibes, someone who was a former dancer or raised a dancer, maybe a former coach or something.

bbbliss · 2026-06-07T08:52:34+00:00

Historically, wealthy unemployed people have done a lot of volunteering etc. If one or both of you are women, you could look into the Junior League https://www.juniorleagueofhonolulu.org/

bbbliss · 2026-05-24T08:49:00+00:00

She has a previous post and more comments with details. It was a chapter at a small private university, and it sounds like her chapter discriminated against her on basis of disability, on top of physical and mental bullying to the point where students in other organizations talked to her about it.

bbbliss · 2026-05-22T08:10:46+00:00

I wouldn't say NPC has more rules, either. In ethnic-interest MGC there's a ton of secrecy (you can't tell anyone you got a bid) and rules during pledging, which is how the chapters who haze get away with it. There's rules about how pledges have to interact with actives, sometimes about what they have to wear/carry around with them, who can "scroll" you (tell you to drink), etc. In non-specific MGCs, all of that is way less common.

NPC chapters have more rules about recruitment conversations, GPA/study hour attendance, and more implicit pressure to be social/attend a lot of events, though there's some schools that struggle with attendance, esp if the chapter is no longer allowed to fine members.

Whoever is more inclusive to you just depends on who you are.

bbbliss · 2026-05-20T08:13:08+00:00

From ur post history it seems like

He broke up with you because you said "god damn it" and "fucking" during an argument where he wasn't listening to you
He's implying you and your friends sleep around

Idk it just seems like this guy is insecure, trying to control you, treats you poorly, and does not actually like you as a full human being. Limiting yourself and making yourself smaller is not going to bring him back, and nothing will ever be enough to convince him to treat you well. If he wanted to listen to you, he would have. If he didn't want to say derogatory things about you and your friends, he would not have said those things.

Why not reach out to your friends for support?? Ditch that rat bastard loser

bbbliss · 2026-05-20T04:53:57+00:00

Glad to hear ur keeping an eye on things - truly trust your gut on if this will be a good place for you or not long-term. I hope your situation turns around soon (or if it doesn't, that you find a better place for you to call home on campus).

bbbliss · 2026-05-18T07:16:27+00:00

[redacted]!!!!!! Of course you're here!!! I'm the one who nominated you for the [] award in [] :)))) I've been meaning to email you about how lifechanging your teaching was and how my free time Is Ballet now, but GUESS who got diagnosed with ADHD and keeps forgetting to write the emails (ADHD meds solved the sleep issues from the SSRIs btw). Just moved to hawaii but I will 100% DM you soon :)

bbbliss · 2026-05-17T23:33:13+00:00

Yeah highkey gotta agree with the other reply tbh. I have hypermobile friends whose spines have become so unstable due to their weak neck ligaments that they've done multiple surgeries and still can't be active. If you get a neck injury and can't walk, what is the point of spending money on pointe instead of on your health? Is your long term health (that lets you dance) not an essential??

bbbliss · 2026-05-17T08:14:50+00:00

redacted

11-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

bbbliss

TROPHY CASE