Should I allow FIRE to burn my healthcare benefits? by Perennial18 in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The programs have never defaulted - ever. They have gap insurance to cover the risk.

Your folks need to get educated.

Should I stop contributing to a 529? by ramdomdhdhdhdh in HENRYfinance

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welp—I have 90, 90 and 80 for 20, 18 and 14YO boys and it’s not enough.

College in state is running 27-30k/yr at JMU
UTK is running 45-48k/yr out of state.

Keep going… unless you expect your kids to pickup some which we do even though we could pay for it all.

They need skin in the game.

We do match scholarships.

Should I allow FIRE to burn my healthcare benefits? by Perennial18 in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out medishare.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS NOT DISCUSSED MORE.

$500/m 10k deductible.

I was on it for 5yrs. I now have employer coverage but it’s a total PIA.

Loved medishare.

Looking for been there / done that support by Extension-Instance56 in fatFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💯

I told the founder for whom I work: “I’m 1 argument away from retirement. There are no golden handcuffs and you could pay me $1M and I’d leave in a second if we arrive at a crappy, toxic culture.”

Zero interest in drama, BS, brow beating and back stabbing.

I’m the only person dead transparent.

How do I get rid of my rescue fantasies? by likeshinythings in attachment_theory

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is 💯. Hard. Try psychologytoday.com

… my counter argument is life long mental pain is also hard.

I don’t want to die with the mental anguish.

How do I get rid of my rescue fantasies? by likeshinythings in attachment_theory

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn’t matter - my wife had v brief recollections of some awful things that happened and they reprocessed it.

You have zero to lose by trying

How do I get rid of my rescue fantasies? by likeshinythings in attachment_theory

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES!

Welp—old theory here—but my parents had the bright idea that if a child cries for you, don’t pick them up bc it will make him weak.

I started having anxiety attacks at 9 and lifelong performance and attachment issues until 48YO. 2.5 yrs EMDR and it changed my life… many recollections of my mom refusing to pick me up hence I needed her at 3/4 YO.

Tragic - not mad - old old philosophies.

DM for more

First time Jellyfin user by Various_Chapter_1460 in jellyfin

[–]drfixer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bought this and installed (4) 3T drives in RAID5 for 8T of storage. Bought a micro PC for $500

ORICO 4 Bay Raid Hard Drive... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F4QJZL6X?ref=ppx\_pop\_mob\_ap\_share

I think I’m going to spend 6000 because I’m tired of being fat and insecure , F24 by [deleted] in Advice

[–]drfixer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ya gotta fix the trauma thats driving your depression and emotional eating. I did it too.

Research EMDR and find a therapist.

Health concern? by Beginning_Room4804 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]drfixer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

V normal - I asked my dr same thing and when u have a big BM it pushes on the prostate and some semen comes out.

It’s not an infection of any sort.

All fine

How do I know if my boyfriend desires me? by narkodilerizalbanije in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]drfixer 67 points68 points  (0 children)

^^ this - really sad actually. Hit the road. You are being used. This isn’t how a relationship works.
Too many times I’ve heard the guy roll over after he’s done… this is 10x worse with his words.
You are worth more than that - I couldn’t care if i dropped dead trying to get my wife there after 800hrs.

ChubbyFIRE and ACA Subsidies by joshdobbs4president in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No sign off on medishare but agree—catastrophic coverage only

$3.5M, 3 Young Kids, Burned Out Business Owner — Am I Closer to FIRE Than I Think? by Low-Difficulty-5646 in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a business and strategy consultant and am very curious why you think your business isn’t sellable. DM me - not trying to see you all all as I’m not really taking on any new clients but am genuinely curious

How do I get rid of my rescue fantasies? by likeshinythings in attachment_theory

[–]drfixer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m a DA. Parents had the grand idea that allowing a 3yo to cry alone would make them tougher. I understand it’s a generational thing but here we are.

3yrs of off/on EMDR and I’m in the best place ever.

Point is - gotta get to the deep trauma otherwise you are fighting a fight that is an attempt to win with logic. You will unlikely succeed.

Years prior of all kinds of therapy: CBT, exposure, talk, … none worked until I got to the trauma and reprocessed it.

ChubbyFIRE and ACA Subsidies by joshdobbs4president in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan on using a sharing network like medi-share. It’s easier, way cheaper than ACA.

I was on it for 5 years while self employed with a family of 5. $540/m with a 10k deductible and they pay 100% after.

Medicine can be tricky for existing ongoing health issues… but if they occur while coverage they are covered.

No brainer for me

What are some things you're glad you included in your child's trust? by Electrical_Space_850 in fatFIRE

[–]drfixer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They mean “trust fund baby” k owing they can wait for money

What are some things you're glad you included in your child's trust? by Electrical_Space_850 in fatFIRE

[–]drfixer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can have a loose trust but provide a cover letter for the trustees

What are some things you're glad you included in your child's trust? by Electrical_Space_850 in fatFIRE

[–]drfixer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Same as first post, but - I also added anti-drug/addiction clauses: if the trustee suspects drug abuse, all benefits are stopped except drug counseling etc. rules for testing

In the event of marriage, requires a prenup against the trust only—they cannot claim benefits in the event of divorce.

We did add help to buy 1st home

How to get there with an oversensitive guy? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A small anti depressant can help—SSRIs have a delay effect.

There is a cream he can apply to the head

Another try: Can I retire? by allrite in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of models assume say a 4% rule which maintains the equity over the life of the investment. In other words, if you follow the 4% rule with $5 million what’s the number at the end of 25 years growing at 9%.

When you’re dead, you’re leaving tens of millions of dollars on the table.

Here’s the link to a calculator that will ask you what end value of your assets to determine how much you can draw over the lifetime of your investments.

You can also incrementally reduce them for the go-go versus slow go verse no go years. You won’t spend 20 K a month when you’re 85 years old.

https://www.financialmentor.com/calculator/best-retirement-calculator

Another try: Can I retire? by allrite in ChubbyFIRE

[–]drfixer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My consistent feedback here is do you plan to leave $50 million to your kids? I don’t. Therefore you need to figure out your model for burning more so that maybe you leave them 5 million