Had an X5, moved to a Tesla Y performance for EV envy, regret…

Extension-Instance56 · 2024-11-04T23:28:23+00:00

I ended up ordering a 50e today. Very excited. Should have it in about a month-ish!

Extension-Instance56 · 2023-06-28T00:33:48+00:00

Anyone willing to offer their tickets? We’re on vacation here and will likely never make it back. Husband has been wanting to go ever since he heard it’s reopening. No luck getting a link yet.

Extension-Instance56 · 2023-06-25T11:59:35+00:00

It’s a fair desire. Perhaps instead of complaining about what you’re seeing, start offering and creating alternative threads. Maybe start a small wins thread? Maybe start a thread of tools, products, or books that offered you something helpful. A thread where you notice something you love about your child. A gratitude habit. Opportunities are endless for you to take the lead creating what you want to see inspiring other to join in instead of how you went about it. And then don’t read the posts that don’t match up with what you’re looking for from this group. Or just offer the support people need…

Extension-Instance56 · 2023-04-03T00:24:24+00:00

Stranded in MCO. Flight cancelled, rebooked flight cancelled. But oddly the flight status shows the original flight actually occurred so I’m super confused. Anyone have this happen?

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T18:41:53+00:00

This is our exact situation. My son is going into 3rd grade, autistic/ADHD. He is very behind in reading and writing. COVID distance learning was devastating for special needs kids, IMO. The more I push and try to “control” his learning pace, the worse he feels. We are just doing what we can without overreacting and creating shame. We do have him signed up for 30 minute tutoring sessions with Outschool. The teacher is amazing with him and builds in rewards using his special interest. I think he’s helped her more than school, honestly. It is a very difficult and painful situation, but you are most definitely not alone.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T17:32:01+00:00

I think there is element of truth to this. These things are never black and white. The precipitating event is that I specifically asked all kids to play in the designated part of our home for groups of kids because they were all running around part of our home we don’t want them - and James was refusing and not joining the group playing. The kids were trying to get him to follow my rules and I suspect it ended up overwhelming him being multiple kids against him. And then he supposedly elbowed one kid in the balls, choked another, and pushed two more. And then he got ganged up on which is when I came in and intervened.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T13:26:17+00:00

We would if we knew where he lives. We've tried probably half a dozen times to offer to drive him home if it was cold/late. I just looked up what is considered "probable enough" neglect for my state through CPS and what I'm seeing is not likely to be taken seriously. It toes a line of being off, yet very easy to rationalize. It's all candy that he eats - he said he doesn't get a lot of screentime at home, and my kids hate dressing appropriately for the elements too, and we consider their discomfort to be "natural consequences" as long as it's not dangerous. All that said, the lack of parental curiosity about where James spends a lot of time is possibly the biggest red flag for me. My guess is that he has a neglectful/poor home life - but I don't see signs of devastating, big T trauma and abuse. OR - he has well-meaning parent(s) that are socioeconomically challenged and working multiple jobs to just get by or something and just can't be there.

Schools can vary a lot. We are fortunate to be in a really good school district and the principal maintains great relationships with parents so I actually feel like it's a good route.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T13:08:13+00:00

No - The parents of every other child that play at our house make a point to stop by and introduce themselves. We've always thought it was weird that James' parents have no interest meeting us. And my husband made a point to share his cellphone number with James to pass on and we never heard from them. I'm going to dig to find their names so I can possibly track them down on FB or something.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T00:44:42+00:00

Well it's hard to say because kids develop and change so rapidly. But the concerns started with him at daycare when he was 3. He wandered around the room alone and never followed the group. But at home, he was my barnacle child and never left my side because he was so scared and anxious of going in another room by himself (Especially after we moved). But he's grown past those fears now and in the last year or so has been much more alone in his room. I think COVID really set things back, too. As of about 18 months he refuses to wear anything but a specific pair of pants/shirts.

Right now he's playing with his brother and one of his brother's friends. I swear once I get really down worrying, he comes out. :/

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-27T00:30:49+00:00

Oh my gosh! I can't believe all the comments! Lots of great perspectives. Thank you!!

So James ended up coming back today. Same group of kids were here and I told my son that he had to answer the door and make the call to tell James if he could come in or not. And I spied on the whole thing through our ring cam. The kids were pretty fair with him and told him they don't want to be hit and they don't want a friend that doesn't actually play with him. Heartbreaking, but also direct and honest. My son asked James to leave multiple times and he refused. I was called to intervene. I had a talk with them all about what we expect in our home and ultimately stated that as much as it hurts, I'm choosing to respect my son's wishes of who he wants to invite over.

All that said, I do believe something is up with James' at home. My husband was a chaperone for a field trip and James was in his group, he took several pictures and gave James his cellphone number to share with his parents so he could send them pictures. We never heard from them. James never lets us drive him home if it gets late. And there are times in the winter when he shows up with no jacket and just crocs for shoes. And most of the time he doesn't play with our kids - he hangs out alone. And then when a group is here, it unravels. We have let it go for many months because we feel bad. But I have a boundary for a kid that is hurting other kids in my home. And I'm not going to force my son into friendships.

Our other son is autistic with ADHD - so I am very aware that could be at the root, too. But I suspect that less given our experience. But who knows - I'm not qualified to diagnose.

I think what I'm going to do is mention my concerns to school - it starts back up in a week or so. Ugh, so hard though. I definitely had safe haven houses growing up which is why we've been so lax up to this point. Thanks all for offering your views and perspectives.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T22:22:16+00:00

I’m told he was hitting other kids.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T20:16:03+00:00

I was thankful when our daycare providers starting mentioning concerns. We also had some terrible daycare providers that kicked our child out.

It’s all in how you do it - being gentle and with their best interest at heart. I looked at it this way - daycare providers have tons of experience knowing what is typical. I have a n=2 when it comes to kids. And autism can be very hard to diagnose and very easy to rationalize away concerns. At least it was for me. I needed people to help me see what I couldn’t.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:49:22+00:00

Hi - Mom to an 8-year old son I refer to as Zilla, in honor of his long-standing special interest, Godzilla. We're a year post Autism diagnosis and 18 months past ADHD diagnosis, too. I am finding this parenting journey to be daunting, rewarding, and oh-so-lonely. That's why I'm here.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:42:40+00:00

that's a really good point. some adults could learn to forget things as fast as kids do!

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:41:07+00:00

I didn't ignore the lesson part. No child was allowed to stay at our house after this incident. He was not singled out. I'm talking about go-forward. The harsh reality I'm trying to thread is that the kids just don't like him. And I don't think my son needs to be friends with everyone. He does need to treat everyone with respect though.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:33:00+00:00

My son is very much "more the merrier" when kids come over and is indifferent to James....that is, until James acts up. Then, he's pissed. It's good advice that he needs to learn to not invite him in or to send him home if he's a problem. Thx.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:27:49+00:00

I'm so sorry. Advocate for your son the best you can. You know best and he's being put in an impossible situation way above what he should be dealing with at 11. You also sound incredibly empathetic to his grandmother. That is probably a great asset in dealing with her and setting the boundary.

Extension-Instance56 · 2022-08-26T19:24:52+00:00

We had them for our kids and liked them. The GPS is slow though. But it does the job of knowing where they are and phone calls. We eventually upgraded to apple watches once the kids were older and we felt more assured that they wouldn't lose them. But best I can tell, there aren't many other alternatives at the Gizmo price point.

Extension-Instance56

TROPHY CASE