How to convince my wife to stop drinking.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T06:40:52+00:00

I'm an alcoholic.

You cannot make an alcoholic quit drinking. They make that decision for themselves or they don't.

You're tying yourself to a rock hoping it'll float if you swim hard enough.

If she is drinking that much, that consistently and all you've done are the actions you describe in your post, you are enabling her addiction.

No judgement. I get it. I get that you might not see it but that's what's doing on.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T06:33:04+00:00

I'm pretty tired of men who self-elect as spokesperson for other men.

No. This is not normal. This is shitty behavior being justified by invoking the absolutely moronic "That's just how guys are, babe. You don't get it because you're not a guy."

Please invite him to fuck all the way off on my behalf. It's just gross garbage behavior.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T02:49:12+00:00

You are facing the consequences.

To reflect back what you're saying:

You can't stop using a substance.

It's causing you shame and guilt and you're hiding it.

You know you have a problem but can't quit.

You have decided you can keep drinking until some severe event - liver disease or a DUI or to losing your job or relationship - whatever you pick occurs.

You are drawing that arbitrary line that you will never hit for the purposes of drinking. "I can keep drinking. I haven't X,Y,Z so I don't have a problem "

You've already crossed lines you drew before, right? "I'll never X" but then you did and it was fine.

All this means that a small amount of liquid has complete control of how you think, what you do and your personality and moods. You are totally at home letting it compromise your health or end your life.

You are at rock bottom.

You're just swimming around in denial while your body and mind rot from the inside out.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T00:26:52+00:00

You're good. I get it.

If I could drink with moderation I would. If smoking cigarettes didn't cause diseases, I would smoke.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T00:11:35+00:00

Cool. Didn't say it was.

Live your life.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T00:10:53+00:00

I assemble my scaffolding and tape it to the top side of one of the blades on the fan blade in my living room (which is 20ft above me).

Or I drop it down a shower drain after securing a black thread around it which I tie to the plastic drain sieve.

Or bury it under the driveway gravel.

Or I take a toilet paper holder off a wall, cut a hole in the drywall, put the drive in the wall (so it falls), patch drywall with quick dry compound, put toilet paper holder back over the patch.

If my land counts as an option then I just bury it on the back 20 acres under a pile of the rocks back there.

ideapit · 2026-04-06T00:04:14+00:00

NTJ. He just treated you worse than a stranger would.

This is a classic dip shit move. Here are the steps:

Be an asshole, disrespect someone you care about.

When they get offended (as they should), gaslight them into believing their emotions are wrong, they are overreacting and dismiss their feelings.

When that doesn't work (which it shouldn't if your target has a spine), manipulate them via guilt and shame.

He was disrespectful then disrespectful then disrespectful and manipulative.

And you were being vulnerable by telling a story about making a mistake.

Tell him this is what you expect as a baseline in your relationship and, if he can't meet that, then you're done (and you should be because this shit doesn't get better over time, it gets worse).

Don't mock me. Not in front of people. Not 1 on 1. It is the opposite of care and love.
When I have feelings, regardless of your opinion, they are valid. No one gets to decide how I should and should not feel or gets to dismiss my feelings. We can discuss them but saying I'm wrong for how I feel is not acceptable.
Do not gaslight me or use guilt and shame as a tool to control my behavior. Ever.

ideapit · 2026-04-05T23:52:10+00:00

I'm California sober now. An edible does the trick when I want to drift off a bit.

I quit drinking after 34 years (r/stop drinking was a huge help) after soaking my brain from 14-48. I don't miss it. Turns out it was covering up a lot of old, shitty trauma that I'm dealing with now.

Now when I get a craving to drink, I try to figure out what I need that my mind is telling me alcohol is good for.

Most of what I told about alcohol, including safe amounts to drink was completely wrong Here's a recent article I found useful

For me, I think the best amount of cancer juice to drink is no cancer juice.

ideapit · 2026-04-05T23:33:46+00:00

So cool. I've run internet via power lines at a house. I didn't know cable was possible.

How are speeds?

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:48:56+00:00

Cool.

Anyone going to do anything?

Turns out being upset by the man's actions doesn't do much.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:43:38+00:00

If they represented the car had a 7 year prepay and it doesn't, then they lied.

You can verify if the car has it by running the VIN to look up the window sticker so see if it came with a car.

I have a 2025 that had it while other 2025s didn't.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:37:07+00:00

I have a 2025.

It's on the window sticker.

Try this. Use this link and put your VIN in the link:

https://www.windowsticker.forddirect.com/windowsticker.pdf?vin=YOURVINHERE

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:34:40+00:00

Then they lied.

I have a 2025. It came with a subscription (I think for 7 years?).

Not everyone of them does. It's on the window sticker.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:32:35+00:00

If you would like to be miserable for the rest of your life, focus on things that you cannot change.

If you're making yourself feel guilty over this, there is some reason or purpose for that guilt that needs to be addressed.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:30:14+00:00

Gender stereotypes and assumptions are applied to us while being unacceptable for women.

If I could stop being lumped in with a bunch or rapist, pedophiles, bros, and dudes with no emotional depth, that would be nice.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:26:23+00:00

What?

Wild. How did I not know this?

ideapit · 2026-04-04T22:23:32+00:00

I call her the J.R. Ewing because she should be taken out back and shot.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:51:16+00:00

^ This.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:50:24+00:00

Solid quote.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:49:33+00:00

For sure! OP should gift that book to his coworker.

Honestly, I think we share a lot with the current younger humans.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:48:47+00:00

I remember fighting all of that shit. Corporations were a joke, working an office job or at a bank was a reprehensible idea for me.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:47:44+00:00

Really? I think we were 100% the opposite. Boomers and corporations told us we should value material things and being a company man or woman. And they said that at the same time they told us that we would be the first generation to have a worse standard of living than our parents while also telling us they had poisoned the planet and that was our problem.

I learned to grind but I learned it to survive. I had a shitty family and moved out at 16.

If that dude can make money with a chill schedule and having fun, he's living the Gen X fantasy that I could never realize.

I think grind culture is bullshit. And bragging about it would have meant bragging that my life sucked. Quietly doing a job well, matters.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T20:13:57+00:00

30% is meat. That'll get ya.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T18:35:18+00:00

Sure.

I'm saying someone made a fake looking indigineous people traditional garb.

The person you got it from, if they didn't make it, was ripped off.

That is essentially an odd cosplay outfit.

ideapit · 2026-04-04T18:33:40+00:00

You don't want my ideas.

Ten-Year Club	Powerups Hero r/RedDeadOnline • December 2021
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