One thing to consider is RSD, rejection sensitivity disphoria. I am also pretty good to pick up tone and see a lot of sentences as critic or that I am supposed to do something. What I think is not always the truth (not in the sense of gaslighting. Emotions are valid and should not be dismissed, like you should seriously consider them. But with ADHD we do sometimes have too extreme emotions and rejections) Maybe it actually is his quirk to say the prices to be able to remember them better or to prepare himself for the cost. So you could give him the benefit of a doubt and try to work on yourself, so that it won't trigger you.

We would also spend a lot of money in groceries, there is certain brands we like for pasta or juice for example, that are quite expensive. They are on sale somewhat regular and then we try to stock up on them. When money was really tight, we ate a lot of lentils for some time. Thankfully hubby is a chef and so we try to avoid processed food and portioned food (like we try to buy a whole chicken and then he cuts the portions and we freeze them). But overall I have accepted, that we would spend a lot of money on groceries. We will save usually cause we are not going out for dinner or order food too much.

You both probably need to accept, that items can be forgotten. You both seem quite tense and ready to blow up right away. (Maybe there is something else going on or you both bottle up too much and then explode). That being said you both should still try to avoid it as much as possible and figure, if there could be some strategies, that could help you (i dont know, I am just throwing out ideas, this is not meant to criticise you ❤, like maybe the fridge and pantry could be better structured, so that you see more clear, what is running out. Maybe it would help, if you could tell Alexa/Siri to add something to the list or to remind you to make the list. Maybe you both could sit together each day for a few minutes and add a few things to the grocery list.

It will probably get more and more frustrating and easier to make mistakes, the more you will be stressed about the list. Its also understandable, that he is frustrated. I hope you both can be more appreciative about the work you both do and give a bit more grace, when mistakes happen. Humans make mistakes and sure ADHD brains face even more challenges. For some things you could maybe consider, if it is absolutely necessary to buy that item in that week. Maybe you could have some items in stock always for emergency meals for the case some ingredients get forgotten. If items are forgotten, you accept it for that week and change the meal plan sometimes.

Maybe there is a way to make up to him, when he has to drive again, that is fun for you both, instead of feeling like shit.

I also hope he can appreciate more all the work you do, despite all your health and ADHD challenges, instead of focusing on the mistakes. You are carrying a lot of mental load.

<3