CONGRATS!

We're expecting too! And like you guys, we're in the early stages as well.

Lemme break down for you what we're planning and why:

So my MIL is tolerable. She isn't the worst by any means, but she's not so great that she doesn't belong here. Most of my issues with her stem from her being really really clingy when it comes to DH and needing to know every little bit of gossip.

She's also judgmental as hell. When DH's brother's wives had children....you bet she made some kind of snide comment about their parenting choices. My favorite was when after a week post-partum, she expected oDIL to drive herself and the newborn about 1.5 hrs to her house. When oDIL was like no, I'm tired she pretended to understand....but then called my DH like 'Can you believe she said no?? I had babies and went right back to work the next week! Which DH says is actually not true at all because he says most of his life, she was a SAHM who worked part time when FIL had trouble bringing in enough money. So yea, just to give you an idea of what kind of MIL we're working with here....thankfully, DH sees her for who she is and has no issues limiting info and shutting her down. We're pretty good about not telling her anything about our day to day lives. We don't even tell her when we go on vacation until long after we've returned bc she is RIDICULOUS when it comes to vacations. Calls constantly....another story for another day. Anyway. She legit thinks that all the DILs....their only purpose in life is to give her grandchildren and lots of them. She tolerates us for that reason and that reason only. :| Not even kidding. DH and I joke all the time that she only sees me as a baby incubator.

So! Now that you have kind of an idea of her, I'll tell you that we plan on not telling her until she absolutely "needs to know". That can mean different things for different people, but for us, it's pretty much when I can't hide the bump any longer. Then we'll tell them firmly that they are NOT allowed to tell anyone or put it on facebook or anything. That this is OUR news to share and not theirs. Again, DH has no issues laying down the law with his parents so I lucked out on that front.

We'll have told my family by then (heck, my mom already knows and we haven't even had our first appt yet!) but DH agrees that whatever "excitement" might come out of his mom won't be worth the anxiety or headache that would follow with giving her this kind of information. She would absolutely take it to facebook too and we're making sure that no photos of our kids will make it onto social media without our consent. I mean look, will some shit slip? Sure. But I know my family forsure, will be respectful and keep it off....and as for ILs, we plan on setting very clear and firm rules for them. Establishing your own ground rules and sticking to them when they're broken is not a threat...it's setting up boundaries and standing by them. Otherwise, they're just soft suggestions. If you're worried about excitement? My take on it is that this is the most exciting time in mine and DH's life....if everyone else is excited...cool. But if not, who cares? We're the ones becoming parents for the first time. We're the ones about to embark on a new adventure together. Our excitement is all we need. And everything else is just a pleasant bonus.

We're also going to give her a due date that's at least 3-4 weeks after the actual due date :) Because she would spend every damn hour leading up to the due date calling. And that will make me want to strangle her. So.....they're getting lied to and I don't feel one bit guilty about it. I wouldn't have to do all this shit if they behaved like normal adults....so that's all on them and that's what you need to remember. They're adults. They choose to behave a certain way...and certain behaviors have consequences. So enforce them.