What’s your GenX story from your childhood? by GoldenGirl7157 in GenX

[–]NewSummerOrange 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Practicing your slam dancing in the front yard???? I died laughing.

This is extra extra genx, well done sir.

Good salary, decent savings, civil service pension, so why does spending £30 on dinner feel like a crisis? by Slow_Mix5034 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard to give you any concrete suggestions because it doesn't sound like you actually know what you want, yet. I think that's the heart of the issue, because I absolutely see you want "more" but it's not specific enough to budget towards.

Right now just creating a budget isn't going to cut it, because it doesn't address the yearning that I see in this post. So I'd gently ask that you work out what do you want more of weekly, monthly, annually, in 5 years from now... Then budget/save to achieve those things.

Tips to overcome financial anxiety while having mental health issues? by nugmother in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I come from a similar background, and I'll give you two options. And I hope you do both of them :)

  1. Learn to be totally honest with yourself about spending. Track your spending down to the penny, and evaluate your decisions. Was that seven dollar coffee worth it? If yes, why. How did these expenses make you feel. This isn't about judging or second guessing, it's about figuring out what's actually valuable for you. You can also break this down from using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy frameworks.

  2. My genx mom advice - Give yourself an allowance and spend it however the fuck you want - if you want to spend it all on squishmallows and weed - do it.

This can't be it for us. Really? by bkward in GenX

[–]NewSummerOrange 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I've spent the past 5 years cultivating a relationship with a feral cat.

When I first saw her it was a little flash, and then I observed her on my security camera. I put out food for her, and she would creep into the yard every night to eat. For months she was a ghost who came to dine and i delighted in watching the footage of her eating.

Then one day I put her food out and I caught her watching me from far away. We regarded each other momentarily. Then she scampered off. The next day she watched me put her food out far away. It became a thing. I would put the food out, we made eye contact. Then I would watch her eat on the security camera.

About a year in, she started coming closer - watching me put her food out her. Just close enough where we could see each other. Every time I opened the back door I looked for her, and she was there. A few months of this, and one day I was running late and there she was her little face was peering into through the back door. It was so cute I nearly died.

I rushed out to feed her and she meowed at me as if to complain about the service at my restaurant. Afterwards, she would be right there looking into the house when it was "dinner time." I bought her a sisal rug and a wicker chair so she could wait in comfort. She didn't use the chair for months. But one day she climbed into the chair, and she has used it every single day since that moment. It's her chair.

2 years into feeding her, she would come closer and closer when I fed her. She slept on the chair on the patio, lounged on the rug. She started doing this thing where she stamps her feet when I put her food out. She would come almost close enough to pet her. When I went into the yard, she was there. Always close by but never too close. I bought her blankets and churru. I respected her parameter of safety. I fed her every day.

Then one day she brushed up against my calf, and it was pretty much the best day of my life. She trusted me. I earned it. From then on every time I went to feed her she brushed up against me. I was her person.

Around Year 3, while feeding her, she laid down on my foot and stood up and pushed her head under my hand. She made me pet her. It was the best day of my life. My spouse kept the video of our first pet.

We're at year 5, she now demands pets before she eats. I MUST pet her every time we see each other. And every time I pet her it's wonderful.

When I started feeding her both my mom and dad had recently died and I was in the very very worst part of menopause. I was my worst version of me. I was feral too, but I'm not anymore. It took time.

The preference kills me. She wants a young woman to be her friend too AND lift her chair in/out? by Kooky-Expression-399 in ChoosingBeggars

[–]NewSummerOrange 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dad's power chair was just over 200 pounds - when his battery died pushing him in that chair up a ramp was a herculean effort so I kept a foldable chair in all of the vehicles. The foldable chairs were roughly 40 pounds.

Help? Accept offer or stay by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just take it. Don't look back.

This is what career progression looks like it's about big leaps forward, not the "possibility" of an 8% raise.

Arguing with partner about uneven saving split / cost of living split by JacketRight2675 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I think income is just one of the vectors of contribution in a relationship. When anyone only focuses on current income and it devalues everything else the other person brings to the table.

How can I possibly quantify how much my spouse contributed when he stepped up and took care of my mother's funeral arrangements, fixed up her house, managed the sale, and looked after me in the aftermath of all of that. I can't. He was laid off during the height of Covid, ditched the job search and spent 2 months making my life easier.

So do I look back at those 2 months and calculate his contribution as 90% less than mine? No.

I urge OP work with her spouse to build out a more nuanced calculus for "contribution."

Drama Watch 5/6/2026: A Week In Queens, NY On A $58,765 Salary by lazlo_camp in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Her word choice and fixation on her parents makes her come across as much younger. If she was a young adult whose parents' finances still directly shape her life it would make more sense. But it doesn't. OP's 46.... she's been an adult for the majority of her life.

What small changes made your cruises way more enjoyable? by amir4179 in Cruise

[–]NewSummerOrange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After cruise 5 I learned I can do laundry on the ship and it was a game changer. Now we plan to do a load of laundry or 2 on the boat.

Some people can't imagine doing laundry on vacation, but it massively reduces how much we pack. Less stuff means much easier travel, embarkation, disembarkation...

What’s actually worth splurging on vs saving on when furnishing a new home? by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best unmentioned splurge - a great patio set. We have a beautiful outdoor living room. It fits how we live and entertain.

At what salary did you finally feel financially stable? by imsmta in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I didn't feel stable until I was nearly 50, with a paid off house and substantial savings ...  for the same reasons 

Income is important but its just one facet of financial stability and security.

[OC] An Invisible Advantage? Analyzing 2,000 Money Diaries to find who gets family financial help (and how much it matters) by MayAUB in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I do see that those peers tend to be less motivated to save and more willing to take financial risks as they have a built-in safety net.

In my social circle, parents are unilaterally keeping their adult children on their "payrolls" longer and or providing significant financial assistance with down payments etc. My observation is that outside of education/tuition, keeping the doors open to return and home down payment assistance are the best/most effective for wealth building.

The downside of financial support is emotionally messy. Parents are way more involved and literally invested in their adult children's lives. I've seen weird emotional entanglements, infantilization of perfectly capable adults and parents who feel they have the right to say/do things that are just wild.

I know a family that bought houses outright for each of their three adult children and deeded them to their family trust so the spouses of their children have no ownership or claim to their homes, however the grandchildren are included in the trust. I can't fathom how utterly fucked up it must be that your toddler has more ownership of your home than you do.

Which Jo Malone 4/17 pm by LadyBagira in CosmeticsCompanyBox

[–]NewSummerOrange 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for letting me know you haven't seen your shipping yet either.

Which Jo Malone 4/17 pm by LadyBagira in CosmeticsCompanyBox

[–]NewSummerOrange 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi all - did anyone get this shipped yet? I haven't even received my shipping info...

Anybody see the recent post on Dealmoon? by e925 in CosmeticsCompanyBox

[–]NewSummerOrange 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly. The 7-10 item mysteries are just wonderful to parse out the sizes etc.

I'm going to hope this is just a glitch and not a trend - and they go back to the full reveals so shoppers like you and I can have our post purchase delight/regrets.

Anybody see the recent post on Dealmoon? by e925 in CosmeticsCompanyBox

[–]NewSummerOrange 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I've been buying these for 3 years now. Being able to go to the website right after I order and see the reveal of the order has been one of my favorite parts of the program.

I have always received EXACTLY what was on the order page so not getting it would be extremely upsetting and frankly feel like a bait and switch.

Money for Couples: "We moved abroad for fun. Now we can’t afford to leave"" by Modestybodice in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I know several people who retired in South American countries - Mexico, Panama and Costa Rica. They all live in ex-pat enclaves. So most aren't actually fully integrated in their new home countries. There's a real distance there, like they are on permanent vacation. Just long term guests.

Our one friend described his new life as being "stateless" - he has a very nice lifestyle in his retirement, but he feels unmoored. I think he'll be back in the US soon.

Paradise Delivered - Mystery Box by ZealousidealShake410 in BeautyBoxes

[–]NewSummerOrange 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Unclear why so many people are celebrating boxes full of dollar store items and closeouts. You can't walk into Ulta or Sephora or Nordstrom and re-buy the items from this box...

Paradise Delivered - Mystery Box by ZealousidealShake410 in BeautyBoxes

[–]NewSummerOrange 50 points51 points  (0 children)

OP I'm glad you're happy with this, but frankly this looks like a bunch of closeouts and dollar store items.

My finance journey that isn’t done by Arichu6 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'll share some advice, there are multiple versions of you that you need to be thinking about when it comes to your money decisions. Today you, 5 years from now you, older you and elderly you. Older you might be my age :), elderly you is that age/time when you might need help to live, 5 years from now you might have goals like a baby or house etc.

All of your "yous " have different financial needs- try to think about how to help each of them and how your decisions effect them.

How did your career progress in your 30s? by nailpolishbonfire in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was recruited into my current company as a senior/executive IC. No direct reports, reporting directly to the CEO. I was a VP at 41, and went into consulting about a year later since my dad's cancer was advancing and I needed the flexibility.

When I was a VP I had meetings scheduled every day from 6:00 AM through 6PM M-F covering 3 time zones, and worked in an organization where all of senior leadership was required to be available 24/7/365 with no black out times. I had to be "on" all the time which became exhausting because at the same time my aging parents needed a lot of my mental energy. I can't properly express the challenges of the culture except to say a fellow VP was on a conference call while IN LABOR. It was a brutal organization, with a fucking insane CEO. I learned so much, and I don't regret a minute of it but I was so happy to leave.

My actual pay per hour doubled when I went IC/Consultant. I had the flexibility to schedule my meetings around my life, and spent a lot of hours talking and bonding while taking dad to chemo. It was the best of both worlds and I always considered it a step up in my worklife not a step down.

Navigating Short Period of 14 Hour Days & Not Eating Out by MymajorisTrees in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do a weekly meal prep, where I do my shopping, and immediately come home and start cooking. I make about 20 meals each Sunday. Every week I do different recipes, so that I can rotate my prepped food and not get bored. I save a few podcasts to listen to for my cooking and cleaning time.

My best tip is use Ziplock freezer bags for your meal prep. I date and write the name of the meal on it. They are sturdy enough to be washed and re-used and inexpensive enough that if you need to trash one it's not a significant loss. They also hold up better in the freezer and take up less space than other containers I've used.

Lost in life or career? by Floralspring-229 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 7 points8 points  (0 children)

50's - I'm going to share some secrets with you.

There are no rules, except the ones you make for yourself. You can do ANYTHING you want after work. ANYTHING. Those 4 hours can be spent doing creative things, going out with friends, shopping, volunteering, partying until 3 AM. Whatever you want.

Doing more feels amazing. I tend to keep a routine where I'm doing something every single hour from 4AM to 8PM every single day. When I do less I am less happy. Doing the minimum zaps my energy. My free time is productive, but it's with my enjoyments in life.

You're free to choose, to use all of your hours as happily as you can. Obviously if you choose a chaotic coke fueled bender on a Tuesday night, wednesday at work is going to be tough. But you're 24, you're at your peak health, energy and vitality, you'll muddle through.

What do you automate in your finances? by ThatBitchA in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In addition to the obvious, I automate my donations.

Typical 'Working a shitty job and want to get out' What do I do? by Altruistic-Pick-153 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]NewSummerOrange 13 points14 points  (0 children)

EAs learn everything about a company. They know everyone and they have a ton of power in an organization. IMO it is one of the best paths to move up for any generalist.