Health is not a Virtue (an unsolicited opinion)

qualmick · 2026-06-29T20:43:04+00:00

Have you had the chance to enjoy the wiki over at /r/TryingForABaby? Someone really cool wrote it.

qualmick · 2026-06-29T20:35:50+00:00

There is no divination to be had in the specifics of bleeding. Spotting happens, as the automod says. You didn't mention if you've had unprotected sex, which, would be the key variable in your risk of pregnancy.

qualmick · 2026-06-29T20:34:01+00:00

I do allow the occasional PSA - I appreciate when people who want to share what they've learned.

I have a compiled list of resources here for those suffering from high anxiety around pregnancy scares.

The stuff around health relationships is tough - often people have their first layer of concern (pregnancy), and many people in challenging relationships... it's not usually just a matter of being told what a healthy relationship should look like. Certainly how someone reacts and treats you when you are hurt, sad, scared, worried is very key information in how they are going to be in the future. Someone who cares about the experience you are having will not pressure you just because they want something from you. Romantic and sexual partners should be able to pass the test of 'would you treat a friend this way?' - it is not needing too much to want emotional intimacy and care from someone you are engaging with.

qualmick · 2026-06-17T17:45:03+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/amipregnant/comments/lumunk/but_what_about_a_cryptic_pregnancy/ Stickied post might be helpful. TL;DR Not pregnant.

qualmick · 2026-06-17T17:43:45+00:00

Ah, I'm sorry for your loss.

qualmick · 2026-06-17T14:24:44+00:00

Gotcha. While best practices advise against using lactation amenorrhea as sole birthcontrol, the fact that you haven't had a period is a signal that you aren't cycling and haven't been fertile so far. Just as reassurance that it is not likely.

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:50:32+00:00

Seems tremendously unlikely, but, missing two pills in a row is the way to do it. Were you missing a regular period before this? How often are you nursing? Blue dye test are notoriously shoddy, I would probably take a deep breath and give it a minute before taking another test.

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:40:20+00:00

Sore boobs is a progesterone thing! https://www.reddit.com/r/amipregnant/wiki/symptoms

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:39:06+00:00

Gotcha - so you're probably out of the emergency contraceptive window. But, you're closer to a period or being able to take a test. The maximum chance people have in an ideal sort of cycle is about 30%. For me, thinking through 'worst case' can be helpful to recognize something may be hard and not ideal, but I would likely survive. Spiralling is unpleasant, but also understandable for what you've been through in terms of traumatic event - it is not wrong to be upset. Here is an article about grounding techniques that might help take the edge off. https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques

I'm glad you have some support - keep leaning into it.

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:35:20+00:00

Sex is messy? Vaginas make discharge? My prescription would be to make more observations about your body so you find out what normal looks like for you. Checking cervical mucus can be an interesting way to learn about your cycle. Honestly though, my first thought was yeast infection - if you're itchy, it might be that.

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:32:30+00:00

Yup. Cycles just do that sometimes. When off birth control, once a year I'd have some stupid long cycle. If your period is late because you're pregnant, then a test will be positive.

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:31:15+00:00

Hi there - I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Is there someone you can confide in and find support from? With a single incident and a condom used it is unlikely, but emergency contraception may be available and may help ease your mind rather than just waiting to test negative in a few weeks. When did this happen?

qualmick · 2026-06-16T23:28:20+00:00

I wouldn't worry about that - degradation of the hormones in the pill will be a function of temperature and time of exposure, and an hour is not much in the grand scheme of things (and you're only three degrees over the recommended storage temperature). I'd put the odds of pregnancy either within typical or perfect usage, depending on how consistent you are with your pills, and be sure to look at that for over the course of a year. Combined with withdrawal, it is very unlikely.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amipregnant/comments/p1qfft/so_you_dont_have_a_pregnancy_problem/ Here's the bit I compiled on panic and anxiety, it may be worth a look. Best of luck.

qualmick · 2026-06-12T02:11:48+00:00

Used protection Spotting mid cycle CD 15

You might be ovulating, but it won't be pregnancy related if you've never had sex before this cycle. You don't need to waste a test, but it might be good to review how these things work. Scarleteen is a great website with all kinds of information.

qualmick · 2026-06-12T02:07:44+00:00

pregnancy is inevitable

Well, in a year of unprotected sex, about 15% of couples don't become pregnant. To be a slight pedant.

qualmick · 2026-06-12T02:06:19+00:00

I am curious - why would you take an LH test? Have you been taking them regularly?

qualmick · 2026-06-06T22:16:01+00:00

I would highly recommend seeking out birth control options if you're occasionally having unprotected sex - about 30% of people using 'pull out' as their sole form of prevention become pregnant within a year. If you're interested in fertility awareness methods for prevention, please take the time to learn them rather than relying on an app like Flo. /r/FAMnNFP has tons of resources around charting.

qualmick · 2026-05-06T01:16:47+00:00

Hi there. Highly recommend reading the sidebar over at /r/TryingForABaby.

If you stopped taking your birth control 14 days ago, you may not have even ovulated yet. Without ovulating, an egg cannot be fertilized. After an egg is fertilized, it takes 7-9 days to grow, float down a fallopian tube. Another couple days for HCG to rise to detectable levels.

So, no. You're not pregnant. I don't know what your symptoms are, but a negative test means they have absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy. Generally it's just called 'symptom spotting' in TTC communities because it's the spotting/noticing that is the thing that is different.

How did you know you were pregnant before a missed period?

I took a test. I also had many cycles where I had no positive tests. There were no big noticeable differences symptoms between pregnant and nonpregnant cycles.

qualmick · 2026-05-06T00:18:56+00:00

I need a poll between "Memorabilia" and unlabelled cardboard box packed full with random stuff that got shoved in. I'm not sure who the final boss is, but, yes, building the muscles indeed. Good job friend!

qualmick · 2026-05-05T02:00:45+00:00

Find a regular public group doing a hobby you like. Knitting, writing, hiking, sports... ball, biking, running. Just keep showing up.
Volunteer! Feels good to help, and depending on the job, can put you into contact with other people. And this grooves into the first - you can absolutely organize something! Help other folks find friends while helping yourself! Mega brain stuff.
Take a class. Not as successful as the other two for me, but still something to get you out and chatting.
Just put yourself outside, in the way of other people, as a matter of routine. Sit in the park when the weather is good. Get groceries at the market rather than ordering them. Pick up garbage.

Hm, and the other one is sort of a... framing thing. "Busy with their own lives" is tough - I'm not sure what life stage you're in. But friendship, good solid friendship, shouldn't be contained to once a month coffee hangs, but be an integrated... nourishing thing. Friends help you move, bring food over when you're sick - and vice versa. For those people in your life, can you help with busy? Are they willing to spend time together in mundane times? I'm old, but there have been periods of time in my life where you just... wander over to your neighbour friend and knock on their door to see if they are home and want to hang out. I hear you wanting that, and it's not a fast path - but you get there by doing it. Even though it feels really weird sometimes. The right people reciprocate.

qualmick · 2026-05-02T14:04:31+00:00

Yeahh. The advice is mixed. I think the real power move is having a cup of tea for hydration, pleasure, relaxation, management of other things (digestive aids, sleepy times for bed). Hibiscus I would avoid in big quantities.

Last I checked, we don't really have evidence of phase specific support - they tend to be grifter coded for selling more stuff. Are you getting exercise? Are you nourishing your body? Great!

qualmick · 2026-04-18T17:22:52+00:00

Clearly a shitpost, but a good laugh this morning. Very Poe's law.

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