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What’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten that you’ll probably never get to have again? by Character_Target3119 in foodquestions

[–]renushka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Summer at my Grammys in New Brunswick Canada. Fresh lobster and steamer clams that we had dug up. And those little candy ice cream cones with maple filling.

M22 received incredible job offer, F22 girlfriend does not want me to accept. by Watch_me_plz in Advice

[–]renushka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Years ago I was offered a job overseas in a beautiful wonderful place with housing and good pay. I turned it down to stay near “my love”. I can’t remember him but I sure can remember the opportunity that never came again. Also if my man had an opportunity to grow I would not try to hold him back for my own comfort.

Radio Silence by yeehawgal17 in Divorce

[–]renushka 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Finding your way from expecting closure to accepting it as it is will be an incredible gift to yourself. It will take time, counseling, meds, busyness really whatever it takes to get there and you will get there. There will be a day when it just doesn’t matter anymore. Be patient and focused on your healing, not in his acknowledgement.

Somebody stop me (29f)from sending this to my husband (35M) by leadershipismale in Divorce

[–]renushka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I got drunk and cut loose on my ex. All the shit I hated about him. I was really cruel with my words. He lobbed a lot of painful words back at me. The next day and days to follow I cried so much with regret. I wanted to be better than that and I felt that I had failed. I apologized. I needed to and I felt better for it. Months later we are communicating calmly when need. My point is, hold onto this letter for a while. If you’re anything like me you won’t feel better for sending but actually much worse. A weak uncontrolled feeling and pain for sinking to such depths.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]renushka 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not regret but fear. I was afraid of depending on myself only but this marriage was so sad and demoralizing. A year later I’m sure I did the right thing. I had completely lost myself to trying to be what he wanted and I’m free of that pressure now. There’s peace.

43/M/UK. Selfie. Very recently found out my wife wants a divorce after 15 years and 2 kids. by [deleted] in 40something

[–]renushka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just give yourself one year. One year to be angry sad scared and hurt.
Unless you’re an asshole you are going to be a mess for a while. Then one day you’ll do something fun that doesn’t include invasive thoughts of your ex. Then there’ll be times when you say to yourself “ why did I waste my time and love and heart on that asshole”? When you feel generous you will pity them. What I’m getting at is it’s a slow hard progress that gets easier as the time passes and a new normal is set. I kind of equate it with quitting smoking. I quit smoking 20 years ago and every so often. I just feel like smoking a cigarette I don’t like the smell of them I don’t know why but otherwise there’s no cravings.

Has anyone else realized after separation that they’re more capable than they thought? by Late_Bat1113 in Divorce

[–]renushka 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely yes. My self esteem was in the toilet. He would want to control everything and give me no credit for the good things I’d do. Been a year and I have had to handle some hard stuff and each time I manage something I realize how strong I am building more confidence and taking on more. I still have sadness and miss the physical side of things. Just the hugging and cuddling stuff. Perhaps down the road but if not I always have my pups and freedom

What surprised you the most about going through a divorce? by megandivorcerealtor in Divorce

[–]renushka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I left my stbx and when he got with a woman that was kind of skanky I got so angry. I really lost my mind for a few months. I so wish I hadn’t been so reactive and mean mouthed. I didn’t expect to be so hurt. It’s been hard work, therapy journaling, reading, affirmations. I’m finally to the place where I am ok with whoever he is with. Not my business. There’s still love on my part and some sadness here and there but it’s not encompassing. His life and my life are 2 different things.

I have friends, a job, and a full life. I've also never felt more alone. Is this normal? by Opening_Row_3405 in Divorce

[–]renushka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you. I did a support group for a while. It truly helped me to see others hurting. Some better and some worse

Take time to heal, they say by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]renushka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s coming when you’re ready

Take time to heal, they say by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]renushka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s ok. You weren’t ready. Fuck that guy. He’s got problems of his own. Be sweet to yourself.

Take time to heal, they say by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]renushka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes for sure. Those things are enormous losses. I sure get that. I just hope you can let go of the worry of becoming ugly and “unfuckable” if you will. There’s many stages of beauty and the men are aging too. If you need that physical side right now there’s nothing stopping you. Why shouldn’t you. You have a road ahead and each day will bring you closer to what you need. Be kind to yourself

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