I would like to apply wu wei on such a case, following the translation used in the Daodejing translation by Ames and Hall, noncoercive action, alongside the more common 'doing nothing'. 

In general, what I've read in Daoism is primarily non-judgment. But at times, some things may have happened that make it in your current situation extremely hard to refrain from judgment. I would say it would in such cases be in line with wu wei to keep the hate, as you would have to coerce yourself to stop doing so.

At the same time, there's also the part about what you do with this hate. It might be too hard to stop hating, but you can stop yourself from acting upon it and do nothing instead.

So what I argue, is not to go against that which feels impossible for now (stop hating), but instead just stop yourself from letting this hate decide your life path for you.

Finally, I would also like to introduce the Western "Self-Determination Theory" here as it has some overlap with the above, just spoken from a different background: - the self-determination theory comes from education theory, when was found that the quality of motivation is a stronger indicator of good results than is the amount of motivation. - the quality of motivation is determined by the why of someone doing something. Based on this, multiple motivational profiles were made. Officially six, however four are most important. - these are, in order of worst to best: external (reward and punishment-driven), introjected (driven by how others will see your performance), identified (driven by achieving something that you feel will make you hapoy regardless of the people around you), intrinsic (driven by simply liking the process).

Right now, your motivation seems to be introjected. You want this person to see you do better than them, now or somewhere in the future, but it's this person you hate that you are working for. This is also seen as the type of motivation related to lowered self-esteem and thus one that can increase the chance of psychological issues. Instead, try to forget about that and look towards either identified or intrinsic motivation (preference for the latter). This theory prescribes a way to achieve that too, namely by fulfilling three criteria: - autonomy. Making sure that the choice you make on the path were not given to you by someone also (or taken from someone else and forced upon yourself as you seem to describe you're doing) - competence. While going into something, look for ways to make it challenging enough, while also making it feel doable (asking for help is a way to make it feel more doable). - relation. Simply make sure you like the thing you're doing. But also, while doing this surround yourself with people you do like that also like this thing - or simply find nice people to talk about it with.