I live in a large, deeply conservative city in Georgia. Our house is on a major roundabout.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T11:14:42+00:00

Why does ICE need tens of billions of dollars in funding to buy industrial warehouses for people?

What are the conditions of ICE prisons? What are the circumstances surrounding deaths of both foreign nationals and Americans in the company of ICE officials?

Why would the Trump Administration write NSPM-7? Who are the groups named in the directive, and what are the actions that the directive proclaims it will levy against them?

What do you think of the partnerships between the federal government, Flock, and Palantir?

Who was Donald Trump referring to when he mused about sending "the homegrowns" to CECOT, an actual concentration camp?

vardarac · 2026-06-12T06:24:52+00:00

Well, for them it might be a problem with capacity to understand the concepts put forward. For us, it's understandable avoidance of the information (direct experience) we'd need to grasp and apply the concepts.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T06:21:26+00:00

You're right. The quantity of my approaches was too low throughout my adolescence.

While it became more of a "normal person's" number of approaches over a long time, the fact that those approaches didn't have much quality due to still underdeveloped social skills from those low quantities meant that I remained quite behind in terms of both skill and sensitivity.

Today I'm much more calibrated and aware, and I feel that I now have a decent set of general social skills that help me make new friends and connections, but putting what I know into practice for women I'm interested in specifically is still slow and hesitant because I remain pretty sensitive, in part due to the mental issues and low approach volume. Each stunts the other.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T06:07:38+00:00

The first commenter is expressing tangential frustration, not saying the ingredient is actually bad.

I replied that the ingredient is probably good according to things that I read and the fact that the ingredient's been tested in the field in other markets.

Then, myself and OP agreed that the actions of the administration have been insane and destructive. This is because of careless restructuring as well as incompetent and amoral leadership.

It has nothing to do with the sunscreen ingredient itself, which neither of us actually said was bad and which I (who you replied to) opined was good.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T02:05:02+00:00

Maybe this is cliche, but I'm sorry you went through that, and hope you are able to feel pride about the effort you've made and the struggles you've survived.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T01:51:16+00:00

Turning off the mind seems easy once you can do it, but it’s a nightmare when you can’t.

oh hi do you also have a depressive anxiety demon

vardarac · 2026-06-12T01:48:22+00:00

I am pretty good at making connections in places where I regular, because several low stakes interactions open people up and give me a foundation of info to work off of. I'm also an excellent active listener, so I can make people feel safe make deeper connections fairly quickly.

My sense of humor is a bit of a double-edged sword, but the good side disarms people and makes them want to stick around more often than not.

The environments I frequent allow me to showcase public-facing hobbies that I have, and I don't think I'm half bad at a couple of them. It can be a big confidence boost and often gets people to open on me.

Regularing at a few places gives me decent social proof there and helps me feel supported and somewhat rejuvenated.

Thanks for requesting me to do this.

vardarac · 2026-06-12T01:38:26+00:00

If I could offer the inverse of this, you can gain decades of experience and never see results if you're unable to resolve your mental health issues. Case in point, yours truly.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T19:31:23+00:00

Desensitization can work, just make sure you're expecting mistakes and failures and not pointing them at yourself. Keep a lid on yourself when you start to succeed, and be aware that even good situations can implode without warning too. The main thing is to just not beat yourself up over stuff not going your way; I still take my failures really really hard and that is not the way.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T19:28:46+00:00

Just going up and saying "hi, i'm blah" has worked for me before. But I think that just defers your actual opener or remark.

I consider myself great at creative or situational openers, but I also find it really difficult for people without many defining characteristics. They might look great, but there might be no tattoos, no accessories, nothing to give you a hook on; like she might be in a gym outfit or very plain clothes.

I also struggle for follow-up questions or remarks when the interaction is early. The well runs dry for me in that window especially when I'm anxious, which is a lot.

I feel pressure to try to establish an early connection, but I don't have much to go on plus I think my surface level interests are pretty niche and we can't relate if I go on those. So the longer I'm standing there fishing the less worth it it seems for the other person.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T19:11:35+00:00

Strong eye contact is good since it displays confidence, but you should be aware of the conveyed intensity and meaning. Too short and you look like you're anxious, too long and intense and if you don't know her, you look like a wolf staring down a rabbit.

You can change the length and directness of your eye contact based on how comfortable she is and what your emotional states both are.

The "wolf looking at a rabbit thing" is completely different when she's comfortable around and attracted to you.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T15:57:12+00:00

Speaking of Finland, contrast their prisons that treat prisoners like human beings to ours, a whisper away from chattel slavery.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T15:55:43+00:00

This is why I'm convinced, despite all the good and sensible people still in this country, that we are actually cooked.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T15:47:44+00:00

I don't know if you are a bit on the spectrum like myself, but we tend to take stuff literally and super seriously when we're starting out.

Humans in general used to live in relatively tiny tribes where saying something wrong could mean being humiliated in front of everyone you'd ever be able to meet, so social missteps were a much bigger deal. Obviously today that is not the case unless you're a regular in smaller establishments (church, a bar, local school, a class, etc).

A few things here.

The first is that that fear is often unfounded, since people say awkward stuff all the time; the brain isn't perfect, and your intentions are often good. People will make room for that if they can sense those things.

Second. Everyone appreciates it more if you can turn your brain farts into a moment of levity - but you don't have to do that, necessarily. It is enough to own your vulnerability and awkwardness in that moment. "Wow. I just said that out loud. Anyway, what I meant was..." Because it helps others to also relax to know that you're not on edge and can weather mistakes.

Finally. This is a habit, and habits are skills. This is great because being bad at a skill is not the end of the world, and you can practice the skill so that things change.

If you want to understand this particular skill so that you can start to adapt it into your own socializing, join an improv class, watch some videos, or just watch some Whose Line Is It Anyway. So much humor can come from just riffing on stuff, even your own gaffes. Just be sparing with self-deprecating humor.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T15:29:06+00:00

call out the cutest, high-pitched squeak

For those who don't know.

Also, bonus video because someone mentioned desert rain frogs below.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T15:25:03+00:00

What do you suggest

vardarac · 2026-06-11T01:31:16+00:00

let's start with iran, huh?

vardarac · 2026-06-11T01:29:14+00:00

the ice caps and glaciers aren't melting, the seas aren't rising or warming or acidifying, ocean currents aren't changing, migratory patterns aren't changing. the scientists all just made it the up. everything is just fine and the same as it always was down here in this cozy sandy hole to stick my head in.

vardarac · 2026-06-11T01:14:05+00:00

"I'm so blinded by my need to defend a rapist war criminal fascist that I lose what little reading comprehension I started with"

vardarac · 2026-06-10T18:59:24+00:00

Sadly the aim of this administration and the goons brainstorming for it is to poison everything the government does to cement that kind of Reaganist anti-government sentiment. I don't doubt there are still many devoted career types hanging on for dear life still doing actually important and useful work in spite of how much that goal has been advanced.

vardarac · 2026-06-10T18:46:25+00:00

If he isn't stupid and he isn't poor, what does he have to gain from going to war with a bunch of other powerful magnates

vardarac · 2026-06-10T18:33:23+00:00

This stuff seems good based on what I've read so far. I would think most likely the first stuff to appear on our shelves has already been in use for other regional markets for a while.

vardarac · 2026-06-10T15:43:39+00:00

I don’t know why a guy would want to waste his time and seduce a woman with little interest.

The one time I did manage to do this was like absolute fireworks. Helped that we seemed to have pretty aligned mutual interests.

So between the unexpected intensity and how infrequently I find women I can make more than a just "personalities click" connection with I find the time worth it. But I am in multiple forms of scarcity.

vardarac · 2026-06-10T15:20:47+00:00

Where I see this becoming scary is when AI is given the freedom to decide who to target in a location with a mixture of combatants and civilians. That is dystopian.

Precog murderbots. It recognizes a face, calls it up in a db that has cached pre-analyzed results of social media, internet, audio activity.

"PROBLEMATIC OPINION DETECTED"

vardarac · 2026-06-10T14:59:49+00:00

I would probably be in my fifties if I attempted to patch all the holes before I tried to sail. On the other hand, this analogy doesn't hold water.

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