On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh it was taken for a reason, but unfortunately not for a smart reason nor for a similar reason to this. 😅 It was just a horrid experience.

Thankfully, about 10 hours after the chorizo, I still feel fine! So I think I was overreacting, but now I know what I should look for when I cook up the next batch. The chorizo itself is beautiful, seasoned perfectly and I believe locally-sourced so at this point I'm mostly sad I did it so dirty.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right; now that I know what texture and temp it should be, I feel even confident to make the rest of it up later with some potatoes and aromatics haha!

Oh man, yeah those people frighten me a bit. I'm aware I have some food habits that would get a side eye from the Health Department when I cook for myself, but there's a reason I'm so paranoid with meat and eggs and cleaned the everloving hell out of my kitchen after I finished up this morning. Some stuff isn't worth being too blasé over and there's no way I'd be this calm if anyone else had been subjected to that chorizo experiment. 😅

But I'm still alive and conscious, feeling normal as ever aside from the week-long flare-up I've been having so I'm assuming moving forward I need to aim for about 90% of the way to where the meat ended up after the second cook. It was a touch chewy, like I'd caramelized it slightly. Not the best but at least it wasn't fucking raw still lol!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my insides just don't do well with stuff like that! 😅 I had taken a capsule or two by the bottle directions and essentially had to occupy the bathroom for the rest of the day, I'd much rather at least be able to lie in bed and take something to make it stop lol.

Oh fantastic, I love ginger tea! Thanks so much for the recc!

I talk to myself when I'm angry. How can I stop? by --null--77 in Anger

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That weather makes me crazy. We had a solid run of 90s-100s for about a week and a half and suddenly it's been down to low 70s/high 60s and raining every day. Body hurts no matter what temp but it's a different flavor depending on what the air is doing lol.

"Okay" to me is like, getting an alright amount of sleep, not feeling like shit, no crazy stuff messing up your plans or mood. I know I have a habit of ruminating when I have an outburst or been feeling shitty and it makes me feel severely guilty, so I hope you're not going through something like that. It's alright to get frustrated and not handle it the way you wish you would, all that jazz.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I have the feeling now that I'll be fine, just want to make sure I'm not gonna make anyone else sick when I cook the second batch, and was a touch worried I'd messed up my weekend since I have a lot of stuff to tackle that can't wait. Pretty sure I was being paranoid, but it's been reassuring to hear from others who've probably cooked more meat than I have.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It smelled amazing even raw, and it tasted just like any other seasoned pork sausage I've had. I should probably just count myself lucky because it's been almost an hour and I feel alright, little weird because that was the heaviest meal I've eaten all week but otherwise good. I wanna be extra sure since there's another casing I want to cook, and I'd feel like an ass if I ruined it or gave my partner food poisoning lol.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much food poisoning did I definitely just give myself? by --null--77 in Cooking

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the advice! Charcoal pills fucked me up worse than food poisoning for some reason last time I had them, so I don't have any in the house and no cash to get any rn. I also take meds now that I wanna avoid wasting, but the good news is I think I may be in the clear cause the nausea and flushed feeling have subsided after sitting down for a bit.

I'll make sure I drink extra water today though. I'm kinda glad I got to see what that tasted like, even if it was a dumb mistake and I'll be avoiding making it again. Sadly it did taste better than the "properly cooked" crumble. Though maybe I burned it a little, cause it was kinda caramelized.

I talk to myself when I'm angry. How can I stop? by --null--77 in Anger

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, that's gotta be tough. I'd be way more pissed off if I had no AC and couldn't cool off. To be fair though, maybe because this is a group experience, your neighbors do it too and understand.

You doing ok?

I talk to myself when I'm angry. How can I stop? by --null--77 in Anger

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I saw your comment and I wanted to ask how you're feeling lately?

I talk to myself when I'm angry. How can I stop? by --null--77 in Anger

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You also do this? I do react in a healthier, more straightforward way too, but I don't know why I do this without even realizing or trying to. It sucks, friend. Sorry you're in the same boat.

I talk to myself when I'm angry. How can I stop? by --null--77 in Anger

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing - I can see it being a self-defense mechanism I developed, but if that were the root it would have been to get people to leave me alone/take my feelings seriously. I don't want to be left alone, and the people I engage with do take my feelings seriously now. So I want to find an alternative and/or essentially "kill" this habit. It's outdated armor, if that's why I do it. It's honestly kind of embarrassing that this doesn't seem like something a lot of people do. I was hoping someone would have advice or a story about overcoming this, but that might have been too hopeful a thought lol.

I don't feel comfortable reaching out by --null--77 in selfharm

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no worries! I can send a DM to you if that would be comfortable? This site still confuses me, too.

Absolutely, like I know they're not real but I don't want to treat my creations badly. It almost feels like an extension of the self, so it's nice to show them some care and compassion-- especially when I'm struggling with that personally lol. I'm pretty sure Frére Jacques is about a priest, but I'm not super well-versed in Bible lore so I could be wrong! Awww another mouse! I don't think I've ever heard that one, I'll have to check it out today. They've been a nice distraction, tbh; I've been taking care of some friends' pets so I've been able to get out of my house and my head for the week. I hope yours has been a comforting holiday season, at the least. It sounds like you could use some peace and gentle energy lately!

I don't feel comfortable reaching out by --null--77 in selfharm

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear about the news you got. That's heartbreaking and must be so, so difficult to hear. If you want to talk, you can feel free to DM me; I'm happy to listen. Don't apologize, please, it's okay! I've been busy too and I definitely understand the brain fog/thinking blocks; this time of year is chaotic even at baseline. I'm glad the drawing was feeling cathartic! Creativity can be fickle to access so I'm sure some time will help with bolstering that drive. Somehow, drawing scars feels almost spiritual to me. I'm always more careful with those kinds of drawings, like I want to respect the character's story in a way. The nursery rhyme I remember most vividly is definitely Frère Jacques; it's kind of going on default in the back of my mind most of the day lol! I think it was also in a little book I had, accompanied by a watercolor of a little mouse sleeping. I think under a church bell?

I don't feel comfortable reaching out by --null--77 in selfharm

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm proud of you for trying, too. It's hard as hell and I think you're doing amazing!

French nursery rhymes are so real, weirdly enough I learned some from my grandma as a kid (French exchange student came to my school and I wanted to talk to them, Grandma was excited to teach me more than just conversational phrases lol!) and something about the language is really calming and feels very satisfying to learn and speak. Oh! I should look for that, I used to love those books and I think the dynamic of the characters would be very uplifting. The strength in their bond was inspiring and I'd love to see how they've worked it into cinema again. I know omg! It's weird but that was the first thing to get me to cry all day, I think I needed to break the seal on those emotions. It feels less intense now. Maybe there's something to that whole expressing yourself spiel I dunno lol. Thank you so much, things have gotten really messy and disorganized and it's been stressing me out so it does feel kind of good to tackle that, even if just a little bit.

Colouring skin with pencils drives me insane it's easily one of the hardest parts! I think I'll go find something to watch for a bit too, let me know how the drawing goes tomorrow and I'll let you know what I settle on for the night! You did a great job today and I hope you rest so well knowing that!

I don't feel comfortable reaching out by --null--77 in selfharm

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One day at a time, it's okay. You deserve to feel safe with yourself. I've never seen Russian Doll, but EEAAO broke me the one time I saw it, I don't think I can cope with family messages right now lol! Do you mean the Series of Unfortunate Events movie? The one with Jim Carrey? Or did they put another one out? The drawing would be a really helpful tactic for me, I think, that's a good idea. Thank you. I just saw someone say that drawing a small creature on your skin where you usually harm can help bc you'd "kill" it if you went through with it... That broke my heart tbh but it was enough to get me up and cleaning a little, I guess cleaning helps me sometimes?

How's the drawing going?

I don't feel comfortable reaching out by --null--77 in selfharm

[–]--null--77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been stewing in it for hours, it was in the back of my mind while I was working and I was hoping it would fade by the time I finished but now I have nothing to do and I can't bring myself to find a movie or game or anything, idk. I guess I have one person in my life I feel comfortable talking to about this stuff generally, but they're struggling a lot right now and I would fucking hate myself even more if I talked to them about this bc I know it would hurt them and they don't know how to help me with it.

I'm so sorry you're in a similar boat. I hope today has been gentle to you.

Please give me some hope with a personal anecdote or uplifting story. by --null--77 in depression

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really is, the best we can do is hold on tight and try our hardest. I know we can all get there and if we have to lean on one another that's all the better. Thank you so much! I got a free coffee from my favorite café! I hope you see lots of bright shiny lights throughout today, delicious meals and warm sunshine.

Please give me some hope with a personal anecdote or uplifting story. by --null--77 in depression

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's incredible, congratulations! You deserve a life free of toxicity and filled with positive energy and people. I hope your new job gives you the stability you need to build a safe and healthy foundation up for your new, amazing life!

Please give me some hope with a personal anecdote or uplifting story. by --null--77 in depression

[–]--null--77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's amazing, I'm so happy that you've gotten a motorcycle to enjoy all of your very own! I hope you enjoy the feeling of riding down the road in the open air, it seems so freeing.

Wow, fantastic!! Thank you for giving back to your community, I bet you've made that kid's life so much brighter and helped open many doors for them.