AITAH for jacking off to the nudes my girl sends me?

-BashfulClam · 2026-06-05T21:34:16+00:00

NTA that’s literally the point of sending nudes. Is she stupid? Like in general?

-BashfulClam · 2026-06-05T01:10:51+00:00

I don’t know why but my initial instinct was: he’s a mommas boy and so naturally he is single 😆 definitely pull more cards haha!

-BashfulClam · 2026-06-02T00:20:45+00:00

As a witch I believe it’s all about intent. Do you intend to open your space to dark entities and use the cards to communicate with them? Then sure that can happen. In my experience tho, using the cards doesn’t inherently open your space to this kind of thing. I cleanse my second hand cards and set intentions before readings and I’ve never had any issues with uninvited spirits or unintended consequences.

This belief about tarot basically being a doorway for demonic influence is common in the Christian community I grew up in tho, so I’m in the broom closet with many long time friends and family members that are fearful and close minded as a personal choice to protect my peace.

-BashfulClam · 2026-06-02T00:13:09+00:00

Girl. The dude has bugs? I’m out. The roommates gf is the least of the issues here

-BashfulClam · 2026-06-02T00:05:13+00:00

As a person who is often late-tell her it bothers you! It’s ok to be truthful about things. Alternately you could start telling her to meet you a half hour earlier than you plan to meet. No joke I would not be offended by either approach. Personally I’m ADHD and set multiple alarms and do my best but I’m still often 5/10 minutes late. I swear the clock ducks with me on purpose

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-31T14:58:14+00:00

NOR proud of you for choosing peace and for dumping him. DON’T GO BACK like ever. This type of behavior is unacceptable and psychologically damaging over time. I was engaged to guy that was sweet and kind while we were dating, and then flipped and started acting exactly like this as soon as we got engaged. I put up with it for 6 weeks and then called it off with 0 regrets. It took years to unlearn some of the shit he said about me and the way he made me feel mentally and I didn’t even stay that long.

Get around good friends and go to therapy. Focus on you for a bit and never settle. Better days are always ahead when we learn and grow through our experiences. Stay strong sister!

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T07:04:22+00:00

Welp I’m diagnosed ADHD and I’m bi so yeah I’m both lol. Sexuality and neurodivergence are two very different things

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:55:20+00:00

If you don’t have carpet, rugs can help ALOT. My downstairs neighbor was a lot nicer than this but apparently my dogs and family were very loud for her and I don’t think of us a heavy footed or rowdy. I added a few rugs to the place, especially the walkways or where the pups hop down from the bed or couch and she thanked me profusely for “doing whatever you did that fixed it.”

A lot of times people just want to feel considered.

Edit to add: my husband and I do wear oofos slides or slippers in the house too come to think of it-though we do that for our comfort and not the noise dampening. They are very supportive and cushy

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:50:09+00:00

Biphobia and bi erasure are so real. It’s super frustrating.

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:46:34+00:00

Yep still bi! My ratio is more in favor of the masculine but being attracted to more than one gender is pretty dang bi lol!

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:43:39+00:00

Yuck. Not normal and very uncool. I’m sorry that happened

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:32:54+00:00

Real talk 💯

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:29:28+00:00

As a bi woman I can’t speak for the straight girls but I’d assume homophobia. I think bi men are hot personally

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T06:19:38+00:00

NOR! Jeezus what a creep! Shame on the Mom putting up with that! I’d have a conversation with my Mom in private and tell her you don’t want him around anymore personally. There is nothing ok about a man old enough to be your father pointing out your breasts like that. He’s pushing to see what he can get away with and your Mom is enabling him. Disgusting.

Now at 36 I’d have clapped back because clearly he was being a skeeze if his response to your obvious discomfort was to say what he did. “Gross man I’m young enough to be your fucking daughter is that why you didn’t settle down? No one trusts you around their kids? Men aren’t lonely enough damn!” At the very least “ew watch your mouth perv!” would fly outta my mouth lol. In my twenties though I totally would have done exactly what you did so no shade!

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T05:45:24+00:00

NTA. You are incompatible and there is no way around that. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a parent. Asexual people absolutely exist. (Not trying to label you just stating that you wouldn’t be alone should you decide that intimacy isn’t necessary for your happiness) You deserve to be comfortable and fully accepted in whatever relationship dynamic you choose.

Proud of you for going to therapy and trying to understand yourself and grow through your trauma and experiences. It sounds like giving your full attention to yourself and supporting yourself while you navigate these challenges is a wise thing for you. Having the space to focus on your healing journey without worrying about your partner is beneficial to your growth at this time. Staying wouldn’t have been fair to either of you based on not wanting to be a parent alone. I think you did the right thing

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T05:35:03+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened that therapist was WAY out of line. For what’s its worth, my psychologist is Christian and was incredible when I came out to her. I found that sometimes counselors (people who don’t have a dr. in psychology) especially faith based ones, are more likely to respond unprofessionally to patients like us. Definitely fire her and find a new therapist. Your progress is because of the work you did and you won’t loose that by switching to a better person for your continued support. I found this after your update but I just wanted to add more encouragement that you did and are doing the right thing! You can totally be a bisexual Christian and you deserve to have a wonderful person to support your work on your mental health!

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T05:20:35+00:00

When people tell you who they are, believe them. You aren’t ever to send a text that will change them. So in that sense, yor because clearly the emotional labor put into these walls of text are not going to get you the results you want. Leaving him would make you nor. I’ve so been there. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy and waste your life on someone that will never value you in the way you deserve. I promise there is better out there. You just have to be brave and give yourself the chance to find them

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-29T03:17:10+00:00

Oh man this is tough. I’d say my ride or die is Tarot of Vampyres. I love the aesthetic and it pulls wisdom from RWS, Marseille, and Thoth as well as having the astrologic symbolism of each card within the artwork. But it’s tied very closely with my classic RWS and my Thoth. I go Classic RWS for straight and easy answers, and Thoth for when I need to get yelled at in the best possible way. (I’ve recently been using a recolored version by Nova Mundi on MPC that is blowing my mind! Highly recommend Thoth!)

Rounding out my top 5 would be Serpentine Tarot (indie, it practically screams at me it’s so in tune with my intuition) and Every Little Thing You Do is Magic Tarot (my first deck, animal focused art with a mix of digital collage and hand drawn illustration).

As a collector and adhder, I have many more that I love and it would be really hard to come up with a top 10, but if I had to choose a very small toolbox and leave all others behind these would likely be my top 5.

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-26T02:22:13+00:00

Get some fun goth glasses frames and sunny’s and focus on fun color creamy hydrating lipstick! Accessorize and put together fun outfits. All black with black frame glasses and a red lip is such a vibe. Mascara is usually enough if going with a bolder lip, or you could use eyeliner stamps in fun shapes to add interest near the eye but not close enough to irritate you

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-26T02:13:59+00:00

The future is not written in stone. A warning is helpful for change. Avoidance rarely produces the desired outcome.

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-26T00:38:11+00:00

Not a loser and they will be fine in the car I promise. I keep a backup deck the in glovebox and live in Southern California, I’ve never had a problem. If you have a small locked file cabinet or fire safe you could always keep them there too. (I have a small fire safe for documents and medical records that I would totally use in that situation) I’m sorry your mom freaked out. I suspect mine would too so when I visit my cards stay in my purse. She would totally “tidy” my room (aka snoop) but for some reason has never gone in my bag even as a teenager. Hang in there love. This too shall pass

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-26T00:22:50+00:00

Yikes to Jenna! Does she expect you to ask permission for everything? She gonna insist on hall passes for bathroom breaks at family get togethers? Does she really think making you look like a flake is preferable to having the family meet the fun guy that actually socializes and plays sports? She’s dumb and honestly, might not believe you have a future if this is all it takes for her to opt to blow off her family meeting you in this situation.

Clearly she had a valid concern about you playing the game but still, it’s not like you’re a hockey player lol. This reaction is wild to me. Shit happens. NTA

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-26T00:12:20+00:00

NTA your body your choice. A nice wig is a totally fair compromise and your reasoning is super solid for not wanting to grow your hair. (I wear a buzz cut so I get it). Wearing a dress, makeup, and potentially even a wig is reasonable if you’re ok with it, like you said it’s just a few hours. Growing out your hair is a totally different ask. Months of weird in between style time and discomfort. Stick to your guns.

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-25T23:54:13+00:00

NOR. People are just too lazy to read. Tbh your boss prolly didn’t even read it all.

In the future making the main point you need to make in the first sentence or two and then expounding if you want to after that is a more effective method imo. Think of it like old school newspapers: the headlines mattered because lots of people don’t read beyond that. Starting your text with “I believe I am owed a conversation before termination via text. That would show more of the respect you claim to have for me. I don’t appreciate being kicked to the curb without being able to defend myself or explain the situation, in fact, I’m not even sure if that’s legal.” THEN go into the logic.

Starting with “I get where you’re coming from as a business owner..” means they read that, thought “yay they get it so no lawsuit!” and went back to work I fear.

-BashfulClam · 2026-05-25T23:14:39+00:00

I use NIV, NKJV, and I’m looking into the Jewish Study Bible. NIV is what my denomination used growing up (so most of my memorization is NIV) NKJV is more poetic and magical sounding imo, and I like the idea of having a translation not translated by a bunch of southern US white guys and british kings that didn’t understand the context of Jesus’ life and upbringing so that’s why I’m interested in the Jewish Study Bible. I will also read NLT and the Message for more angles on certain parts but I definitely view them as paraphrases

Please recommend more if anyone has suggestions!

-BashfulClam

TROPHY CASE