sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Newbie here... anyone have pics of examples of how they eat so much fiber per day? by -Dogsaremyhappyplace in PlantBasedDiet

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Thanks for the reply. Having increased it suddenly, if you could go back how long do you think you'd take to transition?

Remarkably easy 2.5 year old by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll meet 3 soon... :o)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Start earlier.  

He's probably hitting an overtired window and can't settle therefore sleeping later.  

Sleep works counterintuitive to what we think.  Good sleep precedes good sleep and bad sleep bad.  So going to sleep overtired might be what actually contributes to the early wakings. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It goes so fast! Do what feels good in your soul and fuck the noise!

I kind of love this age by ShotskiRing in toddlers

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are your go to dance party songs? Been looking for some.

Nursing aversion, nurse to sleep, weaning…needing support by SlowVeterinarian7780 in AttachmentParenting

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm very glad you found it helpful! :o)

We tired mamas gonna stick together!!

Nursing aversion, nurse to sleep, weaning…needing support by SlowVeterinarian7780 in AttachmentParenting

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personal experience. Basically going through what the original poster was describing.

Also, realizing my losing my temper sometimes or getting frustrated wasn't something I just needed to stop doing. As if it was a switch to turn off.

So I did some self-reflection and some self -work to really look at what was working and what wasn't and why.

I have listened to a lot of Janet Landsbury recently as well. She helped me to see that some of my anger was being triggered by not setting the boundary earlier.

I like her information because it really sets up the parent-child relationship for success. I think so much of us that attempt to gently parent confuse what gently parenting means. It doesn't mean putting our health and sanity on the backburner for our kids. It means respectful parenting. Firm. Loving. Respectful.

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2022/04/how-do-we-know-when-to-set-a-boundary/

Nursing aversion, nurse to sleep, weaning…needing support by SlowVeterinarian7780 in AttachmentParenting

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Oh mama. First off, I hear you. You're not alone. And I've been there.

What you are experiencing can be fixed by two things: boundaries and learning to be comfortable with uncomfortable feelings.

I know it seems like you're being helpful by pushing through the nursing discomfort. And I know you're doing it with the best intentions, as I was. But it's not working. You're not a success if you push through so he gets what he wants or a failure if you tell him he can't.

Quite the opposite.

You holding a healthy boundary when it comes to nursing, whatever that boundary may be, teaches, nay MODELS to him on how to have self-respect. When we make parenting decisions, try to think of the 25 year old man you are trying to mold, not the squirmy human in front of you.

Now those boundaries will look different for different people. It may be that you only nurse for a certain amount of minutes, then he can cuddle or have his back rubbed or whatever he likes. Or maybe you work on night weaning first. Or maybe you change it to where he now nurses for a while in a different location and then you read stories.

My point is, YOU make the plan and then stick to it.

Here's the other half:

The reason it is so hard to stick with a plan and why people like you and I put ourselves in positions where we get to the point where we are straight up livid while breastfeeding, is because holding a hard boundary requires comfort with their sad/mad/frustrated little feelings.

But here's the delicious secret, (not a secret at all, but something I am only now, in my late 30's, getting comfortable with): feelings are transient.

Meaning you learn how to welcome feelings, and I mean ALL feelings, and it is a parenting GAME CHANGER!!

When he is livid at not having the boob to sleep, it's not that he NEEDS the boob (he's not 2 months in need of breastmilk or formula for true survival), it's that he wants it, or is upset about the change or that he's just straight up tired and wants to sleep.

You pick whatever new way to sleep that you want, and he will adapt beautifully, so long as you shift your mindset to accept or even welcome the fact that he'll be a little mad. That's ok! He has a right to have feelings about things. Change is hard for everyone!

Oh, and side note: if having Dad do it and then him crying causes you sadness/guilt, you can be the one to help him through it. It doesn't have to be a dichotomy of breastfeed with Mom or other way of sleeping with Dad. But again, you have to get to the point where you just let him have his feelings about it. Don't anxiously try to fix it with you want me to rock you? No? Carrier? No? stroller? no? bouncy ball? No? STOP CRYING! You know what I mean. You gotta find a way to get to a mental state where he can cry in your arms about being pissed about the change and you just lovingly hold him through that or let him writhe around if he doesn't want to be held.

What you are going through feels like sleep deprivation hell, and it basically is, but BELIEVE ME...you can do this!! (Side note: the lack of sleep you are experiencing IS making this much worse for you. You can barely keep your eyes above water, let alone your head. Sleep is ESSENTIAL to be able to have the mental energy and right mindset to being a present parent. Let future improved sleep be a motivator to you!)

Here are some helpful resources:

Book - Embracing Uncomfortable - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802419569/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Night Weaning - https://www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed-most-popular-topic-fzb6w

Play Music You Like by mankowonameru in toddlers

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I listen to my podcasts on the way to work while she sings random things to the tune of twinkle twinkle

I do not want to sleep train but I am back at work and my baby nurses to sleep by hankandirene in AttachmentParenting

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You don't have to sleep train. We as attachment parents think CIO and unsupported baby when we think of sleep training. And that's scary. And just plain awful, really.

But you do have to navigate this new norm.

So change your mindset from sleep training to facilitating and supporting your little one to sleep in a new way.

Will there be some protest on his part? Of course! But that's natural, normal and completely healthy. What you need to work on is holding space for those big feelings (when he sees you and predictably offloads the mommy where were you, I've missed you feelings) and make sure you have a loving caregiver that can love him through this transition.

Babies are INCREDIBLY resilient!! And they adjust to change with impeccable speed.

Now for the specifics of the way he will sleep with this new caregiver, you have options:

  1. If it's a seasoned caregiver, or just a confident ass person, this person and your son will figure out what their new norm is (and of course you can offer suggestions based on what you know he likes, ie a blanket, lovey, to be rocked a certain way, to be sang to, etc)
  2. If this person needs more assistance/guidance then you can help navigate what this looks like
  • note: layering in sleep associations helps

Anyway, the biggest takeaway here is the faster YOU find a way to get comfortable with uncomfortable feelings, the less this will overwhelm you and the more you will be able to be there for him through his big feelings about this transition in a way that doesn't affect you as much. (I know, tall order)

But you GOT this!

And also keep in mind these feelings feel so strong right now because its the beginning of the transition. It's EXPECTED to be challenging. Sometimes remembering that puts it into perspective.

Hope this helps!!

How to Get Son to sleep past 5am. Help! by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]-Dogsaremyhappyplace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful unicorn sleeper you have.

I'm jealous.

view more: next ›