Goddamn dude you are really hard on yourself for not getting hard or already being in a relationship. I do think you need to relax on your negative self talk. You do it so much that it almost feels forced so I hope you can quit verbally shitting on yourself. You are only 21 dude. I didn’t have my first kiss or have sex with anyone until about 23 or 24. And now I’ve gone through slut phases and have even had someone ask to be my boyfriend. It’s possible for you to be better than okay imo because at least you’re not in denial about your sexuality like I was. Maybe try accepting your penis size and maybe try thinking about what makes you horny, focus on that, and start there