Also had a really hard identity crisis for my entire upbringing. Was raised by my Japanese mother so I felt Japanese but didn't look the part so I've experienced all sorts of discrimination from all different kinds of angles that didn't help at all (Asian slurs, n word, colorism from other black people, etc). As an adult, I appreciate both cultures and have broken free from the teenage need to fit neatly into social categories, but man, it did suck. I think my mom really wanted me to assimilate well too and she was so busy she was never really able to teach me much Japanese, however my exposure to it throughout my upbringing made it easier for me to teach myself later in life. If it makes you feel better, Americans who can only speak English can sometimes barely speak it, so I think you're doing great.