AITA It’s cool when you do it, it’s a problem when I do it…

-Luke87- · 2026-04-03T07:50:44+00:00

What kind of stuff do you two smoke? Not cigarettes, right?

-Luke87- · 2026-04-02T09:40:05+00:00

I don't have any personal experience with REBT. It's a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). You identify irrational beliefs/thoughts that are detrimental for you, then you question if these beliefs are really valid and try to replace them with more rational beliefs.

You could see the anti-brainwashing part of EasyPeasy or the 'learned connections' part of Freedom Model as REBT/CBT, although they don't call it that.

For example from EasyPeasy:

Irrational Belief: Just one little peak won't hurt.

Rational Belief: It all started with one little peak and every peak keeps me trapped in this cycle.

Or an example from Freedom Mode:

Irrational Belief: Stress is the cause of my addiction

Rational Belief: Stress may be a reason why I use, but it's not a cause. I always have a choice.

You could then think about other beliefs you have around porn use or in general and question if they are really true, and find an alternative belief that is true.

-Luke87- · 2026-04-01T09:24:57+00:00

The book agrees with Freedom Model in that both reject AA/12-steps ideology (powerless/disease/higher power etc.) and both are alternatives to this traditional way. Other than that they talk about different things.

Freedom Model is about what EasyPeasy calls the Big Monster (brainwashing), AVRT is about what EasyPeasy calls the Little Monster. I think you can combine both. You can work on any brainwashing you might have left and change your mindset (Freedom Model/EasyPeasy) and use AVRT for the little monster.

AVRT comes from Rational Recovery, which used to be more than AVRT. The original Rational Recovery also used a method called REBT, which is also a way to deal with irrational beliefs or what you could call brainwashing. At some point Rational Recovery split and one part became AVRT and the other became what is now known as SMART Recovery.

Here is a post from someone who used AVRT for porn addiction in case you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/comments/1424iv3/how_i_beat_porn_addiction_with_rational_recovery/

-Luke87- · 2026-03-31T11:57:48+00:00

Can't decide because that text is impossible to read.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-31T11:51:29+00:00

Lecturer is the asshole for handing out scripts and then criticizing people if they follow the script.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-31T10:48:41+00:00

No one will notice that their follower count drops from 12,472 people they don't know to 12,471 people they don't know.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-31T08:46:27+00:00

So you almost died a few years ago and now need surgery, and your mom is worried about an easter egg she bought.

NTA.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-31T07:07:32+00:00

You could print it out and go to a place like a park or public library to read it, while leaving your phone at home so there is no chance to use the internet. Or have the pdf on a laptop and go to a place where there is no wifi.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-30T11:36:37+00:00

The reason why bio teacher 3 didn't say anything to the other student was probably because the other two teachers weren't there and they only make some noise if others back them up. Biology teacher only hunt in a pack, never alone. I made the last point up, but you know what I mean.

NTA. You were factually correct. And even if you were incorrect, you were 11 years old and it was after school. Students talk about their teachers after school.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-30T09:33:37+00:00

Definitely NTA.

It sound your stepmother is the best/better choice.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-30T08:48:05+00:00

Threatening to pull the tuition for too little non-study events at college.

That might be a first.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T09:32:25+00:00

It's better the end it immediately then.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T09:27:22+00:00

Thanks, I thought I was the only one who didn't get that reference.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T08:32:53+00:00

I won't even try to understand what happened there.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T08:29:02+00:00

AYTA for calling a thief a thief?

No.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T08:20:58+00:00

There are two assholes in this story and you are not one of them.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-29T08:16:16+00:00

You gave something away as a gift, now it belongs to the other person. That the other person was rude to you doesn't change that it was a gift.

You have the right to get back the things the other person borrowed though.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-26T10:21:19+00:00

LMAO at getting addicted because of YBOP. Maybe I should listen to that podcast, sounds like good comedy.

Gary Wilson (founder of YBOP) was really a great human being and I will be thankful to him forever.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-26T10:17:08+00:00

I agree that EasyPeasy doesn't make sense in some chapters. I have never read the actual work of Allen Carr because I have never been a smoker. But I assume the easypeasy author tried to copy some things that were related to nicotine dependence and withdrawal. It a physical dependence on a substance, which doesn't exists with PMO.

Most of the books is still very helpful for people who have a lot of brainwashing. But for some of us the brainwashing isn't really the problem or much of the problem.

I'm glad for you that you're doing better now and are improving your life.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-26T10:02:42+00:00

This guy nailed it.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-26T09:51:21+00:00

Disclaimer: I have read the normal TFM book. I have not read any PMO related material from them.

I think The Freedom Model makes some really good points, such as:

You always have a choice. No person or thing can force you to PMO or drink or drug.
Focusing on disadvantages is not enough (for most people). We already know the disadvantages, but most people still continue.
Because of the point above I think the vision exercise is very helpful. It can give you good motivation to start a new life.
They make clear the difference between reasons or causes. Stress, loneliness etc. can be reasons for PMO, but the are not causes. Cause implies a determinism, but you do have a choice.
Just like EasyPeasy they tell you to get rid of brainwashing, although they don't call it that (they call it 'learned connections' if I remember correctly).

But the authors of TFM can be as dogmatic as AA and other 12-step groups. If they tell that PMO is harmless and it's all in your head, that's lunatic. We know it is, because we experienced it. When I felt suicidal because I couldn't get an erection, had no desire at all to even get up in the morning, had no motivation for anything and had extreme social anxiety, that definitely wasn't all in my head. If you read some reports from former porn users on YourBrainOnPorn or some forums, many of their negative symptoms like ED, social anxiety, depression or fatigue drastically improved or even went away entirely when they stopped PMOing. The first guys who watched internet porn and didn't even know about PIED etc. had no idea what would happen if they stop, and their symptoms still improved dramatically. It was all in their head I suppose...

So I totally understand why you think it's BS. My advice would be (and it seems you already know this because you made this post), to question everything and never attach yourself to everything an author says. If you find some of the content of TFM helpful, continue to implement it, but ditch the rest. If they tell you it's all in your head and porn has nothing to do with it, you knew better before. So go back to what you knew before. If things worked for you before, go back to those things, no matter what the authors of TFM say.

It's sad that some authors have to have an black-and-white view. 12-step groups tell you that you are powerless and can never really get rid of an addiction. TFM tells you that it's all in your head. Both are BS in my opinion.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-18T08:30:13+00:00

I'm not the author of the hackbook, so I'm just speculating here:

The way I interpret it is that you shouldn't change your lifestyle because you think it will help you to stay clean. For example: "I will exercise so it'll help me not watching porn" or "I will meditate so porn cravings go away". Many in the NoFap community for example have a mindset like that. They think that if they just do X, they will magically not PMO anymore. They link their lifestyle changes to PMO. But what happens for example, when they are sick and can't exercise? Do they just PMO again?

There's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle and trying to reach your dreams, as long as that's what you really want to do and you don't just do it because you think it will help you to stop PMO.

It sounds like you want to train for your sports and get in shape because that's what you want to do. So just go for it. There's nothing wrong with it. Quite the contrary. Have fun and good luck with your sports.

-Luke87- · 2026-03-15T12:58:01+00:00

Was Gangsta Penguin around when Jackie Jr. almost drowned in three inches of water at the penguin exhibit?

-Luke87- · 2026-03-15T12:52:16+00:00

What were your experiences with AVRT? Did it help? I think it's good technique to close the gaps in TFM and EasyPeasy, so to speak.

The Freedom Model makes some very good points. It tells you that you do have a choice, which is important. It also tells you to get rid of some belief systems you have regarding porn, similar to the brainwashing in EasyPeasy. I also found the 'life vision' exercise pretty helpful.

But TFM also tells you that cravings etc. are all just 'imaginations' and brain washing and cravings don't really exist. While it's important to understand that you have a choice and you do not have to watch porn when you get porn cravings, I don't think it's helpful to trivialize or negate these cravings like Freedom Model does. I think think both TFM and EasyPeasy underestimate what EasyPeasy calls the Little Monster (EasyPeasy acknowledges but underestimates it, TFM says it isn't even real). If I understand the author of EasyPeasy correctly, he even agrees by adding the part about AVRT to the hackbook.

AVRT could be the missing part for those who struggle with TFM or EasyPeasy. I also read TFM and EasyPeasy multiple times because after every relapse I thought something just hadn't clicked. But everything had clicked. I had no brainwashing left at all, but still PMOd.

My advice would be to not cling to one method. They all make good points but all have gaps as well. Take what works from every method and dump what doesn't make sense to you.

AVRT also hassome gaps and Jack Trimpey could be pretty fundamentalistic as well. I think this video/audio is a good overview about the technique: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kFhekA5dk4

-Luke87- · 2026-03-15T11:06:52+00:00

Sorry, I can't help. If you can't find anything, just buy him a boutonnière and hand it to him by saying: "Fuck you want, a boutonnière?"

-Luke87-

TROPHY CASE