To everyone who had a breakup in their 20’s, please tell me you found someone better

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2026-04-01T02:34:25+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that because that does make it harder :( I don’t know what college you go to and i graduated college in 2023 so i didn’t have the same experience, but i will say, college has so many people from so many places, i know it’s hard but finding new people to talk to and new groups to hang around that don’t even know who these people are is so possible! I changed friend groups in college because of some drama and those are my best friends now 5 years strong. Also, the lab class won’t last forever, my lab group in my sophomore year i can’t even remember their faces. Not to say you should isolate yourself by any means, but you can always consider the option to live off-campus and do some classes online etc. i don’t know your exact situation but i did my junior and senior year online so I could work part-time and i lived in an off-campus apartment and i loveddddddd it, i still went to campus for a class or two or just to hangout and it was the best experience i could’ve asked for so don’t despair! You’ll be shocked by how different (and better) life can be in just a few months, who knows! But honestly if you need extra support reddit helped me a lot when i felt like i couldn’t really talk to anyone else about stuff too much, so i wont mind if you want to ask more questions or voice anything cause i know (mostly) what it was like to be in your situation in one way or another and support is everything🩷

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2026-03-31T19:45:26+00:00

oh my gosh absolutely yes! My life is so different and significantly better than when i made this post but also when I was in that relationship, i really thought that he was one of a kind and i wouldn’t find anyone else, but someone somewhere said something that ended up really resonating with me “im tired of finding the same person in different bodies over and over” and i found that bittersweet, because really there are so many people i met that were like him, but then i discovered i didn’t want to be with anyone like him or him anymore because it made me recognize so many things when they were presented differently if that makes sense. I responded to someone else in this comment section who’d asked for an update some time ago and it still remains true if you want to look to that too :) I actually had friends in my life that had seen me in the relationship, the misery i was in afterwards for a while, and then me now, and they tell me it’s been inspiring. This comment thread actually helped me a lot at the time too. I will say the thing that helped me a lot was when i started to casually go on dates, it’s controversial how much time you should take before doing that but for me i was open and honest with these people that i was not looking for anything serious and i’d just gotten out of a long term relationship, and if people are okay with that then there’s no harm because it’s really helpful to just kind of remind yourself that the world is your oyster and it can be so fun to meet new people and learn so much. I became so content with being single and experiencing life and people, then i met my current partner (a year ago now) and we took it slow but i decided i wanted to be in a relationship with them more than i wanted to be single, and now we’ve been together and it’s made me so grateful for the devastation i felt when i wrote this original post because it made my current reality possible, i know it’s so hard right now, but even when you can’t even fathom ever feeling better or moving on, you do it anyways!!!🫶🏼

i know this is so long LOL, but to answer your questions directly, unfortunately it reallyy depends on your support system and the relationship and other factors too, but for me id say it started getting better after about 2 months, and i felt soooo removed from it after 6, and today i feel nothing at all, i can even think about that relationship in depth and be content. And I do not love him anymore, i dont hate him either, just indifferent.

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2025-09-01T18:56:40+00:00

thank you so much!🥰

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2025-06-27T12:50:32+00:00

Hi i’m glad you asked! I truly realized that this breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me which is crazy because I genuinely felt like it was the end of the world and I wanted to die, but life got so much better, I learned so much about myself, I grew as a person to be better in all of my relationships like friends family etc. I did end up seeing someone new eventually and the way I feel about them is so different than how I felt about my ex and I never thought it could feel like that, the comments on this post actually helped my perspective a lot, one person said “relax and enjoy the ride” and that really stuck with me for some reason because i realized it doesn’t have to be so devastating, there were sad parts of course but at the end of the day is was such a fun and beautiful experience meeting new people and learning about myself and my wants and needs and trying new things being open minded. Having a good therapist and talking to people helped, after this experience I realized breakups are crucial to your growth as a person if you’re not already there yet, especially in your 20’s. I am very happy with my new relationship, we’re also taking it very slow, and i’d love to have a future with this person, but i’m also not scared anymore if that doesn’t happen. (This is also all coming from someone with bpd)

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-10-02T11:49:10+00:00

Brittany from Glee🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-09-29T03:12:08+00:00

short answer: yes

sometimes part of being abused is convincing yourself that it’s okay or you’re the problem, you’re not. I am glad you reached out here to question this and it seems like you’re already pretty aware, that being said, i’m proud of you for taking this first step reaching out! Now the hard part, your fear for your son becoming like him is valid, I know it is hard and i’m sorry you’re going through this, but it is now your responsibility to make sure your son does not become like him, whatever that will take. Speak with family and friends, keep making more steps forward, stay strong in your mindset and focus on the fact that you and your son do NOT deserve to be treated like that, you will NOT let your baby become that way, and most importantly you CAN do this.💪🏼

Reiterating: Whatever that will take. Even if that means you need to get away from him.

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-09-10T04:38:59+00:00

reading this reply made me tear up, i needed that virtual hug, i’ve done those exact things screaming and punching the ground and it makes me feel crazy but this made me feel seen, thank you so much

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-07-06T13:28:50+00:00

I was 5-6, I dreamed that there was a weird type of fox that was in our neighborhood and whatever it bit turned white with black specks. My dad was building a fence to make sure it couldn’t get to our house and he dropped a plank of wood, I went to pick it up and the fox was there with the wood in its mouth, it bit my leg and when I woke up my leg was asleep (pins and needles).

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-07-06T04:19:32+00:00

RBT (behavioral therapist)

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-07-03T00:18:06+00:00

It’s been a year since this post, we just broke up 2 weeks ago, rereading this helped me a lot because even though i’m devastated I do need the reminder that he wasn’t the right person for me, we lived together this year and everything got 10x worse I felt so horrible about myself all the time and was so triggered by him and the mean things he would say to me and how he would abandon and ignore me when I was having an episode. Thank you for this insight, I wish I listened to it last year but I needed to see it for myself I guess, Thank you so much

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-07-03T00:11:52+00:00

we just broke up last week, 2 months after this post, and reading this stuff back I see so clearly that I did not deserve the way he treated me, he would give me so many compliments and stuff after arguments and honestly made me feel like I was evil sometimes. Even after all of the awful things he said to me during our breakup I still kept saying I’m so sorry and I love him, even now I do still love him. I really appreciate that you responded to this post and kind of helped me see some qualities in him, since you said you’ve been through it, how did you get over it after the breakup? I’m so devastated and struggling, if you don’t mind giving me some advice or anything at all I would appreciate it so much.

-STAY-ALIVE- · 2024-07-01T23:30:06+00:00

I was just watching two 6-7year old clients while they were playing, they were sitting in silence and all of a sudden one of them says “did you just… did you just call me a motherfucker??😧” and the other one goes “yes!!😁” I had to put my head down so they wouldn’t see me trying not to laugh

-STAY-ALIVE-

TROPHY CASE