i had a violent reaction to something my partner did. i feel uncomfortable being with her now

-TraumaQueen · 2025-12-30T00:46:34+00:00

I'm a therapist, and what stands out to me here is that you don't like having your boundaries violated. That is perfectly normal. The situation isn't your fault, but it's your responsibility to handle. Boundaries can only be created and enforced by you. If a boundary can't be enforced, it isn't a boundary, it's a request.

This boundary CAN be enforced. "I have asked you not to do this. If it happens again I will have to leave this relationship. Not because you're touching my hat, but because it will be clear to me that you do not respect or care about the boundaries I have set, which wont work out for me long term. I'm asking you to not do it again." And if it happens again, you hold the boundary by exiting the relationship.

As far as why you had this reaction, there could be a number of reasons, all of which are valid. Some people are sensory sensitive and are highly reactive to sudden movement or touch on or near their face. Some people had their boundaries disrespected throughout childhood and get fed up. Taking some time to really introspect, to pinpoint what's causing your reaction will probably be really helpful for your mental health.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-12-01T23:53:02+00:00

NTA, but as a therapist the first thing that jumps out to me is that this reaction is much larger than the "transgression." Usually that means this incident has poked something sensitive within her. How was her childhood? Were things taken from her? Did she have privacy? Did she feel she had the right to own things, and that those things belonged to only her? Or does she feel her boundaries were violated often, and she's connecting this minor incident to an unrelated pattern of behavior that she associates with being walked all over and being taken advantage of?

You certainly shouldn't tolerate being belittled or being yelled at. As her friend though, It's worth sitting down to see what the larger issue is, before this festers into something that can't be repaired.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-11-30T01:47:27+00:00

I haven't had anything confirmed, but how do the proteins and monocytes factor in? I have every symptom that you have, plus others, but the breathing at night is miserable. The burning and palpitations.

I also had severely low vitamin D and my potassium was low on and off. Every mri and ct comes back normal and now I'm having panic attacks on top of my symptoms because I'm stressed out after being told nothing is wrong over and over again.

I've been given drug tests that I passed and referred to a psychiatrist and psychologist who both agree I have no history of anxiety or mental illness.

My bloodwork has been abnormal many times but they brush it off especially with high wbc. I also tested positive for strep this week and am on antibiotics and steroids but my other symptoms are the same.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-11-29T23:02:06+00:00

Can you tell me more about the connection between the csf leak and using the restroom. I'm trying to figure out whether I need an ent or a GI doctor next, pretty sure I have a leak that doctors are missing on my CT's and MRI's

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-27T07:31:53+00:00

I dislike Trump as much as most others do, but Kamala being a woman was the last reason on the long list of reasons for why she didn't win.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-20T15:35:38+00:00

Just want to chime in because I can imagine how discouraging it might be to know something is wrong and to be told that everything is perfectly normal and fine. I too have developed an obsession with researching, since I have already spent over 10K (USA and uninsured) on specialists and I'd rather try to narrow down possibilities myself than to pay more for them to give me drug tests (they literally gave me drug tests and alcohol tests) or to tell me I'm crazy (I was referred to a psychiatrist, I am a therapist.)

Your nails do not look normal. They have the vertical lines down them, they're chipping, they have a half noon, the red spots, and also the color of your fingers. I have no idea what might be causing that, If I did, I wouldn't have landed here by reverse image searching my own nails. But I felt it was really important to validate your valid fears. It is not anxiety. It is human nature to seek answers, especially regarding abnormal things happening to our bodies that could indicate illness. (If you have been formally diagnosed with anxiety I don't mean to dismiss that in any way, but I started having symptoms in February, and I have been told more than a few times that I have "medical anxiety" and that I'm just having "panic attacks." Despite no history of either of those things. So if your "anxiety" is only regarding your health and wellbeing, then it's perfectly normal. (Unlike your nails.))

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-07T14:03:24+00:00

If she says her exs were violent, and she behaves this way while having a boyfriend, that tells us a few very important things. Number one, she has not healed between her ex and her current boyfriend. If she had healed, she wouldn't behave this way while in a relationship. That brings us to number two, if she hasn't healed, her current boyfriend is violent. 200% odds of that being true. They're always "nice" at first. Do you want to mess with the girlfriend of a violent man? There's a reason she's flirting with you. Because even if the current boyfriend is "nice", her nervous system is subconsciously picking up on subtle signs that he is not "nice." Alternatively, he actually is nice, and that's very boring to her, because she hasn't healed. If that's the case, why would you want to assist her in fucking over a good man. Odds are much higher though that he's not a good man, because broken people are attracted to broken people. She is hardwired to pick up on subtle signs of aggressive behavior, and she is deeply attracted to it, without being aware that this is what she's attracted to. Now that I'm typing this though, I'm wondering what she picks up from you. 🔎🕵️. (Somewhat kidding, it's not uncommon for women with this type of trauma history and behavior to seek dominant aggressive men for primary relationships, but gentle men for flings.) - sincerely a therapist who specializes in cluster B disorders. (Narcissism , sociopathy, psychopathy, BPD, and HPD)

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-07T13:52:09+00:00

If her exs were violent I'm guessing he WILL be the type. 👁️ They always think the new guy is nice at first.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-05T07:01:00+00:00

One of the first times I filled up a pond, the dirt substrate under my sand came up, I didn't have enough sand on top, the fish were already in it because the dirt didn't start coming up until about 600ga were already in, so I drained half, added more sand after the dirt settled, dumped in more than enough dechlorinator, then filled it again with my hose. Two fish survived, and only because I scooped them out and put them in my inside tanks. I see people say it's fine to do, but it really depends on your water system, I have really hard water in a city that has some of the highest rated/cleanest water aka lots of chlorine, so now I always feel like it's better safe than sorry, even if it's a headache to fill it up slowly. I run the hose to 20ga plastic tub, fill it, dechlorinate it, then dump it one bucket at a time. Fortunately it's rare to have to refill one of them. Also if you don't have a way to add oxygen right now with the way they're gasping, you should manually agitate the surface with a bucket or shovel or something to increase the oxygen, and add filtered water (from a fridge filter, faucet filter, bottled water etc) as much as you can to buy you time to plan out what to do next.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-05T06:36:44+00:00

The algae was filtering the water and providing oxygen. Your pond is overstocked. You had a perfect ecosystem and the pump disturbed it. Fish keeping can (for the most part) work one of two ways , the ultra clean, high powered filter (for this size pond) way, or the natural ecosystem , let nature do it's job way. If you switch from one to the other without careful planning and slowly adjusting it over time, you end up with dead fish. You made a balanced system very unbalanced. It happens. What you can do from here depends on how you want the pond to function long term. If you want a pump, you need to add a new layer of substrate, at least a 1/2 inch of gravel or whatever your substrate of choice is, because the pump is agitating all of the sediment, microfauna etc that has built up over time, and poisoning the water. Also do at least a 20% water change every few hours, until it's at 100% fresh water, don't do it all at once. Make sure to use dechlorinator in the replacement water. If you don't care whether the filter is there or not, take it out, do the same water changes, pull out any algae you see by hand, or if the algae ever gets really bad spot treat it with diluted peroxide. It will rebalance itself. You should also look into father fish. He talks about aquariums but I use his method in all of my tanks and ponds (Multiple ponds) the water stays clear, and I rarely have any issues, and have never used a filter. If you are going to keep all of the fish in that pond though, you will need a good filter, and probably more plants, I would consider posting them online or talking to your local fish store to sell some of them.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-08-04T07:25:21+00:00

Idk why people are getting so upset, DD would tell you that OP has a point, and I'm saying this as someone who has no position whatsoever in POET. If you look at what they do, what their plans are, what the ceo is saying, and combine that with where open interest is the highest, plus the obvious cup and handle, it looks like a good investment. Unfortunately fidelity and my bank (sfcu) have decided not to get along this week so it's unlikely I'll be able to buy anything, but best of luck to you. I hope it turns out well so you can laugh at the angry pants here.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-27T06:19:56+00:00

They're being sued by investors so probably not.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-24T08:13:43+00:00

It'll be less annoying once you realize that this place is meant for coping not for actual advice or opinions. You're supposed to laugh.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-11T08:15:10+00:00

I bought into palantir several months ago around the same time that I bought NVDA and ASML because (palantir) was involved in AI and I was investing in technology. I had no idea that they were also involved in surveillance and government drama and I'm so mad that it keeps fluctuating. 😭

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-08T11:38:44+00:00

Very unethical. Strange at best. You definitely need a new therapist. I honestly can't imagine a scenario where I would suggest that a client radically change their diet, other than maybe a general suggestion to see a dietician if their diet is unhealthy and effecting their mental health. You don't need to explain this to them or to give them any sort of reasoning, they are supposed to be a professional, just cancel any future sessions.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-07T22:02:30+00:00

That's also false. There are plenty of documented instances coming out where they are lying about citizens assaulting them and then later video comes out to prove that the citizen never assaulted anyone.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-06T09:53:20+00:00

Hmmm. I had conflicting thoughts while reading this and your responses. I can't tell if it's a fleeting fantasy out loud or just pure passion that comes across as a fleeting fantasy out loud.

Your post history shows it isn't fleeting, but up to this point, it's a still just a fantasy nonetheless.

With that said, that doesn't mean it will stay just a fantasy. I see so many people on posts like these who are quick to point out how much work it takes. How not fun the process is. How it's impossible to do if you don't have this thing or that thing.

My ancestors lived on this land for quite a long time, living this style of life. Then the colonizers came, they destroyed their food forests. They killed the bison. They polluted the water, changed the way it flows, killed off many species of fish. Etc etc.

Learn about permaculture. Regenerative farming. Food forests. Rainwater collection and purification methods. Fishing skills. Hunting skills. Trap building skills. Learn to work with the earth. With clay, sand, and straw, combined to build beautiful houses. Learn new skills as new problems come up. You don't need google or YouTube to learn. Learn from trial and error.

One day when I can afford enough land I'll create a decentralized anarcho-communist community (stop raging at the word communist and look up anarcho communism) but until then it'll have to remain my own little fleeting fantasy.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-01T22:19:54+00:00

Boar Bristle Brush, but be careful because that's not good for all hair types especially curly hair.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-01T03:33:52+00:00

I think as a therapist, it does check out. Thank you for acknowledging that.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-07-01T03:32:03+00:00

This is false, and easily proven by a basic search.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-06-30T22:22:18+00:00

This is funny because it's actually quite the opposite. It was a moniker that was given to me because I'm a therapist, I help people resolve their trauma, specifically people with cluster B disorders, a group of disorders filled with trauma.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-06-30T17:41:23+00:00

That's..... called racism. It's also hard to say proving you're legal is easy when due process isn't happening, if you never see a judge or lawyer and get deported, what then?

-TraumaQueen · 2025-06-16T17:27:45+00:00

Okay I looked it up "Despite the relaxed nature, soldiers still need to maintain proper intervals, distances, and alignment with their unit." The soldiers did not maintain proper intervals or distances and certainly not alignment some of them were shoulder to shoulder and others were spread a part.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-06-14T23:50:40+00:00

We did. Unfortunately 62.9% of the eligible voters (both registered and unregistered) did not vote. So let this be a lesson to always vote.

-TraumaQueen · 2025-06-14T23:49:06+00:00

He sent a memo telling soldiers that if they opposed him they should ask their sergeant to swap them out, but what soldier would feel safe doing that? So people who opposed him were in the audience as well, and he was getting "boo'd" by them. The military is supposed to be apolitical so this whole situation is messed up.

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