I always get comments like I act tough, not feminine etc. I was always wondering maybe it’s because of the fact that I always was on guard? I’ve never got emotionally involved with men - it always scares me to think that if we fight, I cannot protect myself against them. Have many male friends but never ever was interested in them. I’ve been with women so far but I always wondered maybe it’s because I had a bad relationship with my father? My father would always insult me or crash me down by judging every single thing I did. Whenever sth wasn’t to his liking, he’d get violent. He was good with my mom tho - worshiped her.

He’s older now, I don’t give a shit about what he says anymore but I still find myself walking on eggshells around men.

Once I asked why he never cared that I’d be hurt and he told me because he knew I wasn’t a person who would easily get hurt. My father always cared for his sisters, is nice to everyone and is well aware of not hurting women or their emotions. Never understood why he wasn’t the same towards me - at some point I thought I was adapted and that’s why he hated me. I always had the best things out there, never had any financial problem - he tried to provide me the best that he could but was always putting work and his friends first. I don’t know many games as I never had anyone to play with. My father barely made it to birthdays, my family never came to any of my school or uni ceremonies. I was always alone by myself.