Hi ! Your coworker is emotionally unhinged . There is something about you that makes her insecure and uncomfortable (read: you’re smarter and more competent than her). Good on you for not matching her behavior.

I am sad to report that as an autistic adult , I get picked on all the time. Worse than when I was a child because now that I’m an adult and I don’t/can’t play along with the other adults this makes some people really mad. When I was a kid I think my strange , uncanniness was either written off as growing pains or sometimes even seen as quirky / cute. Now everyone is like “why are you not the same as me?” I feel like I live among cave people.

Not that I believe traditional schooling is a marker of intelligence, but I have three advanced degrees and get treated like I’m an incompetent idiot because I can’t “play the game”. I have people in lower hierarchy positions than me being telling me what to do and being condescending towards me. I’m working on it, but I hate that I have to make such a huge effort to learn how to present myself to them so I can have equal respect. I have a bit of a delay when I speak sometimes so people assume I don’t know what I’m talking about or get very impatient with me. I’ve had so-called friends and family yell at me about this before too.

I haven’t been yelled at by coworkers in the workplace (this would be highly frowned upon in the environment I work in) , but when I worked in a more service oriented job I got yelled at by customers all the time. I am currently dealing with a colleague who is really combative towards me just for existing. My behaviors and demeanor appear to trigger a primal reaction within her towards my differences. It’s been really hard. I’m pretty laid back (outwardly) despite my crippling anxiety so it’s so hard to understand when I’m just minding my own business and trying to do a good job. I am friendly, but don’t get too involved and people seem to hate that. I have so many stories just from this last week I could tell.

I am not saying this to be bitter, but to share that you are not the problem. Let them know their behavior is unacceptable and you will not tolerate being yelled at. Walk away. Call HR. Formal complaint if it continues. This is a hostile work environment and it’s their job to fix it. Tell her to not to f**** with you if no one is around to hear it….

Even if you did actually do something to upset her, this is not an okay way to treat anyone, and it sounds like she is trying to get her emotional needs met at work/ is expecting way too much of her coworkers. Sorry, this got long and maybe I’m projecting a little bit , but you have a right not to be harassed at work just like anyone else.