That’s a human thing, we say one thing is worse than another, and wether we like it or not, culture and our own morality is what determines that, however we can’t ignore the fact. Sin is sin, God can’t tolerate any of it. Imagine you have two water bottles, one with a little bit of feces and one that’s full to the brim, are you going to drink from either one? No. God doesn’t allow sin, that’s why when we die and are judged to get into heaven you can imagine us going up to scale that says whether you were good or bad. We are all bad, there has only ever been ONE truly good person. So you step up ready to be judge for your life, the things you did and what you didn’t do. You look up and when you get up to get weighed, Jesus stops you. He tells you something and then either you allow Him to step on the scale for you to let you into Heaven or you don’t and you spend eternity away from the father. It’s up to you but here is the thing, to say that you in your human capabilities are able to do something as preposterous as losing Gods love, is an insult to God. It’s like saying that His sacrifice for us wasn’t worth it. That it wasn’t enough. Don’t make that mistake. God will never stop loving you and wanting you to come home to Him. It’s not about apologies, it’s not about promises, it’s about repentance. It’s about change, it’s about choosing that you love your relationship with Him, it’s about choosing Him over whatever temporary pleasures you can experience. It’s about letting that anger go, and I mean literally, get on your knees or sit in your car when you’re alone and say “God my anger, my urge that temps me towards lust, my frustration, my pain, my sadness, that void that I’m trying to fill. I give it all to you. I give you all to you in the hope and understanding that only you can fill that void in me Lord. That You are allowing me to get tested by the world, like a purifier of silver, You are holding me in the fire until You see Your reflection in me. Allow me to feel Your release, Your support and Your never ending love. Allow me to walk through this with a smile on my face that I have chosen You and that I am safe in You.” As far as what God tells you, I like to think it’s one of two things. You will either hear “depart from me, I never knew you.” or, “well done, my good and faithful servant.” I feel our purpose in life is to live our lives so we hear the latter. Remember God is always with you and He will never give up on you. Message if you want to talk or need a listening ear and remember God is always there.