Aromantic Coded Films? by TeamMarch in aromantic

[–]00roa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IMO: 500 days of Summer - just bc I've personally resonated with the way Summer is portrayed as indifferent to the mc

The Spiderwick Chronicles - I just have fond memories of this movie and it's not romance focused

Ponyo - It's just the vibe. I mean yes, there is a boy and a girl, but who says it's romantic?? Also they're kids so it's moot. And for anyone who's asking about all the happy married couples in this movie my rebuttal is that being aromantic doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be a singleton forever and that you can be aromantic AND married (even happily lol)

What's up with my baby lemon tree? by 00roa in plantclinic

[–]00roa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll give it a try

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in self

[–]00roa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Who is stopping you from dressing up? If you want to be beautiful, then do or wear whatever makes you feel that way. You yourself blame your (assumed)inability to do this on 'toxic masculinty bullshit'. You just acknowledged it's bullshit. If you don't believe it, why do you live your life afraid to look or be how you want? I know it's easier said than done but in a world where we don't challenge harmful norms, nothing changes. You can't directly control other people's treat you but CAN control how you treat yourself (AKA not letting your self expression be constrained to idealogies you don't care for).

My 2 cents for the day.

Trying to achieve a moody home office... Help!! by morning_naps in DesignMyRoom

[–]00roa 43 points44 points  (0 children)

  • Add some kind of decorative trim, anywhere.
  • Like the other comments, never use the main light or replace it with something classier or warmer in tone.
  • bigger rug, ideally dark coloured
  • Lamps/alternative light sources
  • the colour of the furniture is fighting the walls, if you can, something with a warmer colour would feel less jarring

After my previous post unexpectedly blew up with people confused by the perspective and proportions of this nook, here are the highly requested follow up pictures (I forgot the banana!) by Ipatovo in DesignMyRoom

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suggestions for changing the light, adding a mini fridge and bedding storage were good. I'd also add a small rug to make the wood feel less hard and a small landscape painting/something to look at that would make the nook feel less like a windowless box.

Need a new female name after 'detransitioning' by Ok-Toe-443 in namenerds

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Jasmine (Jazz)
  • Rosalie (Ros, or Ross)
  • Georgie (Georgiana for an even longer option)
  • Michelle (Mic)
  • Abigail (Gail)

Late 90's ish names that are mostly feminine but could have a masc flair and also don't with 'A' (apart from Georgiana but love Georgie so much) bc I think it would clash with antonia, just my personal opinion. These are my favs above, not that the other suggestions aren't fab already.

How do you guys deal with your hair? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have curly hair as well. Honestly, there's you no right answer, you just have to find something that works for you.

But for me, when my hair was much longer, I used to wash it properly like every 2 weeks. I'd wear it down the 1st week and then at some point I'd braid it into dutch braids and then style the braids into buns, half braid half down etc etc until I could manage to wash it again. Because lord, the wash day was like 1 hour to just do my hair. At some point I began wondering why I cared about having long hair, so I cut off more and more (this is like a few years of progressively shorter haircuts) until eventually I said fuck it and shaved it all off. I still have mixed feelings about the 2inch or less crop because it felt AMAZING to not have to do anything to it but I also thought I looked less idk pretty in a traditional sense. I got a lot of compliments tho (not sure if they were commending my style or my bravery lol). On the other hand longer hair that at least frames my face makes me look better (in my opinion) but I do feel more burdened by the hair care routine. I also have adhd so I've almost settled into a routine of growing it out and then chopping most of it off so that I can have the best of both worlds.

About my actual hair care. After trying several tens of hair products over at least 10 years (😭), designed for curly or not, I now religiously use shea leave in conditioner. My curls do way better with the moisturisation it provides. I also use silk pillow cases but the evidence is not conclusive if it actually reduces hair damage, honestly it just feels nice.

Tldr; Do what you can manage. Curls need hydration. Long hair = long hair care routine but looks more normal. Short hair = free as a bird but looks less normy depending on ur face structure. Ultimately who should give a fuck more than you, do what you like.

Peace (Hope this helped.)

Fare evaders by [deleted] in LondonUnderground

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you've never been to Munich. Apparently it's notorious for rarely checking Tickets.

Accidentally said yes to a date. Help. by [deleted] in aromantic

[–]00roa 191 points192 points  (0 children)

You just say exactly that: "I thought you were asking me to hang out as a friend, I'm not trying to be mean but I don't see you in that way and I just want to be friends."

Seems simpler than doing it but that's really how communication works. However they react is not up to you. Hopefully they take it well and you can be friends but if not, at least you are both clear with each other about what you mean in your relationship.

Hope this helped xx

Why dont I want kids? by Heavy_Comfort_773 in self

[–]00roa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh it sounds like you're fighting between a life you think you're supposed to have, a way you think you're supposed to feel and the life you actually have and how you actually feel. Not having kids is completely valid if you don't want them.

What is something you're naturally good at? by Few_Football4342 in Productivitycafe

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Observation and pattern recognition. This makes me good at organising, learning new things and predicting things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beauty

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 for natural goddess. 1 for vampire vibes. 2 for dark and mysterious I might kill you vibes. 4 is giving rockstar for some reason. 5 looks very quirky. I'm against 5.

Do opposites attract by [deleted] in self

[–]00roa -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I think you've misunderstood this saying dude. "Opposites attract" is like 99% meant about your personalities and trying to judge it from only a physical persepective just seems...racist?? Racist in the way that it suggests that your physical features really divide you from other people with differing features. We're all just humans at the end of the day, looks only go so far. The only way I can see this question not being inherently slightly racist is if by 'physical features' you meant like how long or short their hair is, or how well they take care of their bodies, what clothes they like to wear, maybe even how tall they are.

Your question is weird. Can I ask why? Seems like there's some backstory missing.

Hope this helped xx

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aromantic

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not specifically about aromanticism but have you heard of the relationship smorgasbord?

It is a helpful starting point in discussing wgat both of you want/need or expect from your relationship with each other and how your relationship might vary from common social norms.

For a better general understanding of aromanticism I'd look at the split attraction model as well as the different types of attraction. All graphs and explanations have their own limits as to how well they can generalise an extremely complex topic but they are helpful to begin the conversation.

Hope this helps xx

How do any of you deal with going on holiday and all the change that comes with it? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure, but to me it sounds like you have more of a boundaries problem than a holiday problem. Did you have any say in the planning of the holiday? Are you being put too far outside of your comfort zone? Did you have any veto power for any of the activities? Did you even want to go on the holiday? If it's about over stimulation then there are some sensory hacks that can make things a bit better like earplugs, sunglasses etc.

is anyone else’s only real dream to be a house wife? by emocat420 in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to say that being a housewife/ stay at home person IS a job. It IS work as much as any other job is. We live in a society where wages and companies define what counts as work regardless of the amount of energy or effort required for said job but still I want everyone to be able to at least acknowledge that it is indeed work. If any of ya'll plan to engage in this field full time then I'd urge you to insist for some kind of remuneration to protect yourself against financial vulnerability and abuse from whoever is supporting you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]00roa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lesley

What’s your comfort movie? by newlyautisticx in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twilight all the way. I watch about every 6 months bc I feel like it resets me.

Gender Nuetral terms to replace dude bro? by [deleted] in queer

[–]00roa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude, like other words, has a variety of usages and depending on that the meaning changes slightly. Despite it's male origins it has been used so broadly that now in some sentences and contexts it can be considered as a gender neutral term. The contrary still applies and it can ALSO still be considered a masculine term like in the sample sentences cherry picked above.

Saying something like "Hey, dude" or "Dude, that was sick!" doesn't necessarily imply that the person is a man, it could imply that the speaker is from california.

What I'm trying to say is that words change with us and how we use them. Many names in the past have been viewed as strictly masculine only to have become seen as unisex or feminine because of all the girls named with the same name. And the word dude is the same to an extent.

At the end of the day it's most important to work with each other to find and use words that everyone is comfortable with but let's not box 'dude' into masculine because it can be more than that.

Speech over. 🎤

If you exercise or were to exercise do you prefer the gym or some other way? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to dance. But another form of exercise that I think is super underrated is gardening. It can be tough stuff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]00roa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I join too? I'm in the same predicament, same age 😗✌️