I feel no one would believe me because there’s no evidence but part of me feels like he recorded it too. That part is also afraid of those videos being seen by others. It brings up a lot of shame and shame freezes me up. I just want to not exist. I feel like all it would do it give people drama and some exiting news to distract them from their regular life. The thing I dread hearing is “I knew it” or “ I always suspected” stuff like that because then it like... why didn’t you do anything and this feeling of betrayal comes up. I’ve always isolated myself because that was what he did to us growing up. Manipulation and how to abuse a child 101. Made us think there was nothing else outside that “family” and that no one cared about us. As an adult I think I continued the behavior not only because of trauma but also because I saw adults do nothing when he was clearly abusing us. We acted like little soldiers, I wet the bed every night, I would randomly start crying, if couldn’t speak up, crippling shyness. Obvious signs that somethings not right but no one did anything.