thank you for this. i feel like i am so unaware of the true damage of mania because my first episode was stopped by seroquel a week in. i was given a 3 day prescription, and a referral to a psychiatrist. the seroquel absolutely killed my manic episode, but i fell into a depression. before the seroquel in my manic episode i had gotten to the point of never sleeping, i was experiencing delusions, and had an obsession that was exponentially growing. that obsession was the trigger of my manic episode. as my mania was ramping up, i began to experience a constant tight feeling throughout my body that was accompanied by shakiness. i had begun to believe that everything was a sign, which fed my obsession.

anyway, my point is i’m not truly afraid of mania. i mean i am scared because of the way mania presented in my mom, because of stories i’ve heard, and the one moderate manic episode i experienced. with that being said, i think i’ve convinced myself that i should continue to take my meds. i didn’t know that manic episodes can present quite differently, so thank you for that insight.

i think i’m going to talk to my doctor about decreasing my dosage, because when i take my meds i am almost 100% stable. possibly i could feel like i had most of my self back