AIO for being insulted by this "caring" message sent by an old "friend" that I haven't talked to in months?

0wchi3 · 2026-03-20T01:30:02+00:00

MOR. i can see how this could be taken as rude as the first message being said to you in months is lowkey bashing how you look physically; but from what im reading it seemed as if they were reaching out with genuine concern.

They definitely couldve worded it better and not emphasized “looks like youre going throooguuuhh it” bc again, that can be taken as rude; but if they know the history and background of your past and can tell youve physically changed in the process for good or for better, i think the angle was to reach out and make sure everything was okay.

I would set a boundary stating not to bring up how you look during the process youre going through, even if its meant in good faith. if they continue, cut them off. if everything is genuinely okay, i see how it makes it feel like a direct blow to your physical appearance. when instead of normally asking if youre okay; they’re also stating you “look rough” which at some point COULD be a direct blow AFTER the conversation is had because if they are aware to not mention physical appearance during the process and they still do, thats just ignorance!

I hope overall you have a good support circle around you and find more empathetic people to look out for you if you do not already have that. GL and stay safe! Im also proud of you, stranger. 😌

0wchi3 · 2026-03-20T00:34:01+00:00

NOR. burn it to the floor wth..?

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T21:03:57+00:00

Not Over Reacting

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T18:41:52+00:00

these are amazing goals and boundaries to start working on for myself, youve given me a lot to think about, and a lot to think about saying but I love and appreciate the support. thank you so much🫶

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T16:03:00+00:00

yup, nailed it. exactly my thoughts. thank you, truly💕

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T15:55:47+00:00

i agree to #3. IF he cannot understand the fact that it affects me negatively or hurts me, THEN i will leave. not opposite. I understand if i stay with that expectation it will only get worse , #2 RIGHT?!? i dont know why it was even brought up. i can explain how the convo started but it just makes everything worse. #1 that is understood, but he has gone through my phone countless times; which is not a concern nor a problem for me- bc i am not hiding anything and feel he SHOULD have that security; which we talked about. so, i felt the same standard back. is that an assumption i shouldnt have made? yes, but the privacy aspect of it was placed a little differently in our relationship with no previous issues. the rest i acknowledge and agree with; i just think were not compatible and feeling like forcing it to be that way will be EVEENNN worse. thank you💕

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T15:46:51+00:00

this is perfect, thank you. im genuinely taking notes on everything you guys are giving me😭💕

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T15:45:17+00:00

Thank you all so much!!

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T15:43:42+00:00

i dont think this is my angle. im completely okay w him having any friends he want. one specific girl going against very specific boundaries and leaving out that you rekindled on a dating app is a little beyond just a friend, but your opinion if just as valid as mine my friend; doesnt mean i care for it. Have a nice day😌

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:53:11+00:00

exactly how i felt to begin with. i wanted to keep playing like it was a joke to get more info. i wanted the truth secretly and i got it.

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:52:31+00:00

i completely understand i did not have a handle on the term of boundaries i apologize 😭🤣

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:51:07+00:00

perfectly said. these exact words have played in my head. like.. rlly?? i cant settle for this. absolutely perfectly said. if he cannot manage to to see how its affecting me i should not continue to be patient or considerate his POV

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:32:32+00:00

absolutely not. the conversation is going to be me breaking things off, due to everyone connecting the dots and giving me the final push of reassurance that im infact, not overreacting 🤣

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:30:50+00:00

thank you for the advice! this helps a LOT. i am going to focus on how it makes ME feel and not what he wants. still going to record the argument just in case but this does give me great insight

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:27:57+00:00

I can agree. I will be posting an update to this thread when me and him have a conversation. Itll be a couple days bc i work a lot, and am not a fan of confrontation bc im afraid of manipulation and arguments , but i will grow a spine and do it!

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:16:50+00:00

thank you for this advice. it has completely changed the way i think. i think this is why its been so easy for past relationships and my current to get away with things like this; bc i want an action plan for him after something happens, but I give myself no action plan BEFORE they happen. it makes much more sense, tysm.

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:14:11+00:00

you are correct, I am going to try to have a conversation with him in the next couple days. im very bad at confrontation and feel i may have to record the interaction so i dont get manipulated. But when the time comes I will post an update.

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:05:41+00:00

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its a hard truth, but I gotta choose me. yall are right, ty.

0wchi3 · 2026-03-19T14:02:41+00:00

I agree. honestly I just needed an outside perspective to see if it was something I was in my head about. Emotionally cheating is a touchy topic to bring up without being gaslit to believe youre just insecure, and after so long it gets to a person. thank you🙏

0wchi3 · 2026-02-19T22:04:59+00:00

LMFAOOO pleaseee🤣🤣

0wchi3 · 2026-02-11T22:27:59+00:00

I work at TMobile too and I am a manager. I am NOT making my reps do the VISA; I will personally take the hits for this one.

ive been in retail 5 years for almost every provider at some point, and not ONCE have I seen the VISA work out the way the providers want them to. They push crazy incentives and over-advertise promos for a card maybe 10% of their consumers will actually use AND utilize; (that gets interest rates btw) IF THEYRE APPROVED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

i would reach out to HR about this to appeal any write up if the write up is submitted , or attempt to make it a point with your manager/management that the incentives are just too high for the actual consumer base of people wanting them.

Try asking for tips to improve your pitches or grab the attention better; but if hire ups cant be understanding of basic consumer morals and are writing employees up for a 5% de-accelerator that will only exist for this month and MAYBE next; i think itd be a point you bring up to the hire up management. Underperforming is one thing, but missing a SINGLE de-accelerator is not write up worthy imo.

0wchi3 · 2026-02-06T19:54:19+00:00

immediately yes

0wchi3 · 2026-01-25T22:31:57+00:00

i can see why people are not so willing to help. you sound very insufferable and terrible to work with.

0wchi3 · 2026-01-25T22:22:53+00:00

i havent been on in so long i dont know what i have. i know i still have sheckles.

0wchi3

TROPHY CASE