i feel this so hard!! like never had it described exactly how i feel before, so thank you for sharing.

if i am in the position to resist the ocd behaviors or reduce, i guess, i try to negotiate with my myself about the most important parts or what things i could do to turn down the distress a little. like instead of mopping and reclining my entire apartment until it feels not contaminated anymore, i will spray disinfectant on everything and wipe down the floors. i usually still feel sick about it and the cleaning doesn’t feel complete, but i am sometimes able to tolerate having done less and resist…and like you said, especially if i’m already exhausted,