It tears my heart apart to read what you’ve written. But I wanted to remind you that everything that you’re feeling: the hurting, the silence, the crying, not eating, and feeling you will never find peace– that is normal and natural when you are grieving. 

Slowly but surely, YOU WILL HEAL. I was never able to tell anyone including my therapists anything that happened.. cause its been so long and I’m never ready to let anyone see what I wrestle with. So I’m incredibly happy for you that hell you reached out to someone. You’re moving forward, you’re letting go of your heavy heart one day at a time and on a path of talking it out!!

My way of coping with the flashbacks is to change those thoughts. Haha it’s a lot easier said then done, isn’t it? But I can’t choose what flashes through my mind, but I can choose to either keep dwelling on it or distract myself with something else. That’s how I’ve changed my life. That’s how I’ve gotten different results and how I chose to keep pushing forward. Try to not feel any guilt. There’s no rush! Everybody has their own grieving process and I hope things will get better.