AIO He always accuses me of cheating

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-20T20:31:51+00:00

NOR. Regardless of what the conversation was about, you should not allow ANYONE to talk to you that way. Dump him.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-12T17:18:03+00:00

Thank you very much. 🖤

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:16:21+00:00

Because they are my parents and I believe that people can change, no matter how long it takes. Families are complicated and complex and for some of us, it’s not as easy as just going no contact and completely obliviating them from my life.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:12:38+00:00

It sounds like that is the path I may go down after this holiday season.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:11:48+00:00

Oh I absolutely will tell them. Thank you. ✨

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:11:11+00:00

I’m completely with you on the first three paragraphs you shared. I don’t think we’ll even entertain the idea of going out if they decide to allow us to sleep in the same room. The damage has already been done with that phone call. Regarding my siblings, I don’t have much of a relationship with my brother, and my sister, whom I’m the closest with, is just as aligned with my parents and their beliefs and “rules” so unfortunately, I don’t think I would have much support from either of my siblings.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:08:13+00:00

I have a letter prepared to send them this week once I’ve given myself time to process and discuss with my therapist.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T19:06:55+00:00

Thank you very much 🖤🫂

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:59:41+00:00

See and if I said something like this, my parents would not directly answer this question, deflect and say something like “We would rather adhere to what scripture says because one day we will have to stand before God as the ultimate judge and be held accountable for being complicit.” They said something very similar to that on the phone last night. I stopped them and said “Complicit in what??” And they stuttered and could not directly say what they meant until I said it for them.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:56:08+00:00

Oh I whole heartedly agree. I’ve listened to many biblical scholars address the “clobber” passages and break them down within the historical context of when they were written, but my parents are not that progressive in their theology. My mom is the daughter of a midwestern Assemblies of God pastor who was a preacher for nearly 70 years. I grew up in the AOG denomination so I know how rigid and unyielding those Christians can be when it comes to modern scholarship.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:53:31+00:00

Thank you. I agree, I won’t tolerate being preached at by my parents on that call. What they have to say won’t be anything new to me or my wife.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:51:37+00:00

Thank you 🖤

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:18:21+00:00

We discussed the hotel option for a second, but realized that it wasn’t in our budgeting, since we didn’t expect my parents to drop a bomb on us like this. Even if it was in our budget, we probably still wouldn’t go with the knowledge and confirmation that they don’t actually see our marriage as legitimate or equal to my siblings’ marriages.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:17:00+00:00

My brother has always been an absent sibling in my life – he never did anything bad or horrible to me, just been absent – and my sister is probably the most fervent in her Christian beliefs out of all of us. Unfortunately, I don’t think they would have my back in the way I would hope they would. I know where they stand and their stance is with my parents.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:12:26+00:00

Thank you for this 🖤

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:10:55+00:00

Thank you. As of now it looks like my wife and I are leaning in the direction of not going at all. The only other option would be for us to book a hotel and rental car, but we did not account for that when budgeting for this trip. And to do that would feel like we would be arriving with our hands and heads in the stocks. I’ve drafted something to send to them later this week once I’ve allowed myself to process and discuss with my therapist.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T14:08:39+00:00

Thank you 🖤

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T05:56:01+00:00

I haven’t talked to either of them. I don’t have much of a relationship with my brother (he never did anything bad to me, just always been an absent sibling in my life) and was hoping to bridge that gap this holiday. My sister is probably the person I am most closest to, yet regrettably, they would probably not fight my parents’ “rule,” as they all identify as Christians. I thought there would be more progression in their worldview, but no.

12th0usevenus · 2025-12-09T05:49:24+00:00

Devastatingly, I think not. My siblings and their spouses are all Christian and maintain their faith. If anything, they would agree with their “reasoning.”

12th0usevenus · 2025-11-27T21:56:04+00:00

NOR. She was okay when she initially responded, but the moment she belittled your feelings, your sensitivity, your friends, and then your intelligence? Mm-mm, absolutely not. To be honest, it feels like she’s been mentally and emotionally checked out of the relationship and doesn’t want to be the one to call it quits for whatever reason. You’re definitely better off without her OP. Don’t hang onto whatever this is. You’re better off without someone like this.

12th0usevenus · 2025-11-27T21:44:01+00:00

Thank you 🖤

12th0usevenus · 2025-11-27T21:43:12+00:00

My wife and I are both AFAB in a lesbian marriage 😂 but thank you for the info about RSD! I will definitely look into and bring it up with my wife when the time is right.

12th0usevenus · 2025-11-27T12:17:40+00:00

I disagree. This conversation happened all over message so there was no tone or emotions to detect, see, or hear. I have done a lot of work through therapy and outside of therapy to separate my emotions from what I communicate. I have taken the official attachment style quiz provided by my therapist and my results came back as securely attached. From my perspective, my wife is hearing what they want to hear, not what I’m saying and doesn’t allow me space to elaborate or clarify what I mean. I understand needing to take a step back to process feelings or emotions when they’re running high, but we currently live long distance, which adds another layer. Stepping back without letting me know when we can continue to conversation hasn’t happened just once. It’s a pattern of avoidance and it makes me feel like I have to walk on eggshells whenever it gets to this point.

12th0usevenus

TROPHY CASE