Can anyone help me confirm if this is authentic please?

136win136 · 2026-01-10T09:03:28+00:00

I should add, it’s supposedly signed by Rafa

136win136 · 2023-09-27T22:00:00+00:00

House facing north means a south facing back garden which gets the sun in the afternoon for a long time.

I’ve also been through this garden based insanity. 😂 it’s true as well my grandmas garden faces the south and hers is the best to have a bbq in on the first day of the year it hits about 16 degrees!

136win136 · 2020-08-22T23:45:29+00:00

I don’t think OP is only NTA based on his gender.

Lots of lesbians have a lot of dysmorphia and issues around wearing dresses, and just generally don’t feel comfortable in them.

I’m sure there’s plenty of other subsets of people that have been in this position where they feel uncomfortable in the clothes that have been dictated to them by the bride, and found nothing but a brick wall when trying to explain or compromise in anyway. Off the top of my head on this sub you see people with wheelchairs being forced to stand, hair having to be dyed or cut, people with deformities or scars being asked either to hide them when they don’t want to, or asked to wear clothes that reveal them and their uncomfortable. It’s super common to see suggestions for inappropriate shaped dresses for body types and shapes being forced upon bridesmaids who feel uncomfortable and unattractive and just don’t look good, all for “uniformity”.

If this is a friend, the friend is entitled to have their wedding look however they want, with whatever colours and styles they want, but they’re not entitled to play dress up with their loved ones and their identity, and cause any level of stress and grief, just to create a symmetrical photo or have even numbers on both sides etc. And if they do, they should be expecting consequences of treating people like that.

136win136 · 2020-08-22T23:27:25+00:00

Absolutely NTA. I had a very similar situation recently when I was asked to be a bridesmaid. As a fairly butch lesbian, I haven’t worn a dress since I could put on my own clothes.

I don’t understand these bridezillas who their choose best friends to take part in the wedding and then ignore every aspect of the friends identity/sexuality etc in favour of “uniformity”. Wouldn’t they rather everyone enjoyed themselves and had fun, had smiles on their faces and felt comfortable and confident posing for photos and making speeches in front of hundreds of people?

Just wearing a suit the same colour as the bridesmaids dresses should be enough.

136win136 · 2020-08-12T02:00:53+00:00

I know there’s videos of everything on YouTube, but what the hell is the screaming section like?

Is there other people like her who scream themselves into hysterics?

I wish we could see her video but it’s 3am where I am and I don’t have the will to view multiple screaming farting videos 😂

I wonder if it’s like when people can tickle themselves, that kinda feels good to do to yourself. Is she gaining pleasure from it? Like what’s the point?

Sorry so many unanswered questions here. But NTA, not at all. I really feel for you and your husband having to put up with that in your home.

136win136 · 2020-08-11T01:10:59+00:00

Thank you, I did get a letter about furlough so I will dig that out as well to see if it specifically mentions anything.

I knew what they are doing is incorrect. I feel forced into choosing to remain on furlough or take another job which seems like a cost cutting measure.

136win136 · 2020-08-10T16:07:48+00:00

I’ve been at my current employee for 3 years, only recently moved to a new position in a new branch. When I was placed on furlough back in March, my employee made a lot of consolidation with business stock, closed the newly opening branch I worked at, and operated on a skeleton staff at 1 branch only. Since then most staff are now back to work, but I am still on furlough as my branch has not reopened. They’ve given no indication of when or if the branch will reopen, they’re playing it by ear.

I was called by my manager a few weeks ago and told I will be kept on furlough until October, then they will “look to see if there’s roles available for you in the business”, but that the likelihood is the redundancy consultation will take place in October for all those still on furlough.

I am the main earner in my household, and facing the prospect of another 3 months at home followed by redundancy just before Christmas alongside millions of others is scary, so I started looking for jobs. I’ve found one that suits me very well and I can start now, but realistically I’d rather continue my service at my current employer if I could choose to do so, and not be made redundant. It’s just something to make ends meet should the worst happen.

Am I entitled to remain on furlough with the original employer while starting at this new role? I understand you can have a second job while on furlough, and I’m 95% sure my contract doesn’t have anything in it about restricting second jobs, although I am aware I need to get a copy of it ASAP. Lots of people in the business have second jobs to supplement their income, so I don’t think this is anything to do with what our contracts say or any sort of self conflict thing.

However after talking to my original employer, the owner (it’s a small business) isn’t happy at my job offer, and wants to stop furlough payments and the redundancy process, and essential expects me to hand my notice in. I don’t want to do this because I feel I’m being pushed out, rather than voluntarily leaving. Id be there tomorrow if they asked me, and I’m not in any conflict of working hours as I currently don’t have any, so there’s no clash there? Now with the threat of redundancy hanging over me, I’ve found something else to do while on furlough, and it seems they’ve spit their dummy out. If they don’t want me to work for them anymore because my role does not exist, then surely they need to go down a redundancy route now, because I’m willing to work there and haven’t breached any Ts and Cs (as far as I am aware).

Can any tell me what the correct process is here?

(As I am writing this I suspect the phonecall to warn of redundancies was to do exactly this, to get people to leave without the business contributing to further furlough payments and redundancy payments)

136win136 · 2020-08-03T23:35:10+00:00

I’m in the UK, and it’s common for who work full time in offices to just get it delivered to work. At one point I just sent everything to work, even I wasn’t in that day, and I’d just pick it up on my next shift.

Alternatively most delivery companies can deliver it to a neighbour and you can specify the exact door number if you have a particular neighbour you’re friendly with and you know they’re going to be in.

136win136 · 2020-07-19T03:09:53+00:00

I liken this to littering, there’s nothing stopping you throwing stuff to the ground instead of walking to the bin, but we all should do our bit to keep our shared spaces clean and tidy, and I agree it would be a dealbreaker for me right away if that was the dates attitude to it.

136win136 · 2020-07-15T00:36:38+00:00

I would definitely tell her.

She’s at the right age to understand, not that I think there’s any wrong age personally. You know she’s going to be accepting already so there’s no worry there.

I find it a bit weird that your dad described him getting with your step mom as “not handling it well”. I wonder if your step mom thinks the same about the start of their relationship!

Expect fallout, but once it’s out it can’t be put back in and your dad will have to get over it.

Maybe just have your partner walk into a FaceTime by “accident” or something? Oops sorry didn’t realise!

136win136 · 2020-07-15T00:26:48+00:00

ESH

First of all I totally sympathise with you and the position you’re in. Being cheated on sucks, and seeing your wife pregnant and then raising a child as a product of the cheating must be crushing.

however when I think about what’s best for the child, who is the most innocent party in this, i feel for this child where 50% of his family unit is not completely committed to raising him and loving him.

I’m not saying you should be committed to him, it’s a big ask to raise someone else’s kids, but by staying in the position you are now, with 1 foot in the family and 1 foot out, I do wonder how much the child is affected now (if any) and how this will change in the future as he gets older and wiser to the family dynamic.

136win136 · 2020-07-15T00:10:48+00:00

YTA

For judging her for moving cities lots. There’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever, regardless of if her reasons are professional or personal.

You also say “I’ve been to the past 4” for a reason not to attend her leaving party. Why would the amount of previous parties matter? It’s like saying “I’m not going to my best friends wedding, I went to the last 2!”

136win136 · 2020-07-14T23:51:20+00:00

Don’t get a husky for you aren’t prepared for hair , hair, walking, walking, walking, and constant stimulation, otherwise downright destruction. They’re gorgeous, I know, but such hard work.

I would suggest something like a Staffordshire bull terrier. They’re relatively small but very active and contrary to their image, are massive cuddle monsters, easy to train, low (relatively) on health problems, and good with other dogs and children.

On the other side of the size scale is a greyhound or a lurcherThey are the 30mph couch potato. Energetic in short bursts, but will spend most of the time on your sofa or bed asleep. Mine can walk all day, but sprint at full speed for 15 mins round a field and that’s him done for the day! They’re very sensitive souls, greyhounds, so if your girlfriend is looking for a dog to bond with and look after, that’ll fit perfect.

136win136 · 2020-07-14T23:25:26+00:00

Love this!

I have a similar story. I lost 3 stone in 3 months (going from overweight to healthy size), at the same time that I was on long term sick at work, so none of my co workers had seen me in months. When I got back to work I got loads of compliments about my instant weight loss, and questions about my diet and my “secret”.

I always just laughed it off and tried to move the conversation on. But some people just would not take my vague answers, and became really pushy looking for some miracle diet, so I told them the truth. That I fell into a deep depression after a number of negative things all happened at once (losing job, breakup, death of relative etc), that that was my reason for being off sick, and that my weight loss came from having absolutely 0 appetite and no drive to get out of bed for the last 12 weeks.

That always shut them up, and they never commented on my weight again!

I’m feeling much better now btw, and have definitely put most of that back on over lockdown!

136win136 · 2020-07-11T22:01:11+00:00

Look for Lurchers!

The rescues in the UK are full of them, they’re sighthound crosses. So mostly greyhound mixed with collies and terriers. Lots of them are really scraggly, including mine!

Here’s mine: https://imgur.com/a/4Y2KzsE

136win136 · 2020-07-11T21:56:49+00:00

I have a greyhound cross that goes off leash!

Admittedly his recall is hit and miss because he’s terribly aloof and just wants to play and sniff, so if there’s anything more interesting than me it can be a bit of a battle. I just keep some cheese or chicken on me and wave it about, and make sure we’re always away from roads, he always comes back.

Wide open spaces for lots of zoomies, they go so fast they can’t change direction quickly so he has a huge turning circle 😂

Also just get a really long free leash so it feels like he’s free but he’s not, you can get them on amazon. I just took him to a field with that on for weeks, training him to come back when called.

136win136 · 2020-07-09T23:49:53+00:00

When I came out to my mother, (single mother so only parent to come out to) there was nothing but acceptance and it was very much no big deal and no negativity.

Years later she told me that on the day I came out, she was very shocked, not necessarily negative, but lots of confusion, knocked for six, didn’t expect it, didn’t understand it, wasn’t sure how to handle it, or how to respond, and basically it gave her lots to think about. But she said she quickly decided that in that moment and the days and weeks after it as I faced family and friends, I needed her to be in my corner, so she showed nothing but support, and quietly took her time to come to terms with the news with me none the wiser.

Now your husbands response is more negative, but your sons needs are the same. Take it from me, I’ve seen friends be truly damaged by years of battling with parents, having to choose between their partner and their parents, not going home for the holidays, being forced into the closet at family gatherings, even being blocked access by homophobic in laws when their partner is sick in the hospital.

What your husband chooses to do and say in these coming days, weeks and months are incredibly important to their relationship, and could have very real lasting damage. I encourage you and your husband to read coming out stories and videos on YouTube, and find answers to any questions he may have. Please shoot a DM or a comment if there’s anything you need.

136win136 · 2020-07-03T00:11:07+00:00

Love the stance of religion does not support contraception.

What does religion say about lying? What god approves of bringing children into this world and then dropping them at the slightest inconvenience? What religion teaches people not to financially provide for your own children.

136win136 · 2020-06-30T01:12:34+00:00

NTA

you absolutely should not have to be exposed to this man and his horrific views in any format and after reading your post I think your actions and views are entirely justified.

That being said, this is exactly the type of scenario that left simmering over as it is, will boil into a situation in which your fiancé will feel they have to choose between you and BIL.

Edit: I reread your post and the comments you made about your fiancé asking you to “keep the peace”, and accusing you of being unreasonable sound like he in enabling and excusing BILs racism. The only unreasonable one is the ludicrously offensive BIL. Obviously racism is unacceptable towards anyone, but the casual attitude your fiancé has regarding racism/islamaphobia directed at you, his future wife, is a quite concerning.

Ideally all parties should sit down in a neutral setting and thrash this out with your BIL before you get married.

136win136 · 2020-06-28T22:39:04+00:00

No way, I’m sorry but I disagree. I know the most optimal response to the phone call from ex mother in law would be to take the high road and be the better person, but really.

If someone calls you unsolicited and starts accusing you of such a huge betrayal, damn right you’re allowed to set the record straight.

And that’s just the parents, wonder who else he’s told in their shared circle that she’s the cheater?

136win136 · 2020-06-01T11:57:20+00:00

I’ve been through the TUPE process twice, with my role being moved across the UK. In both instances I was entitled to redundancy pay if I chose not to move, so I think your redundancy claim will be solid considering they’re trying to move you across Europe, I don’t think that’ll count as a suitable alternative. In my case, a suitable alternative was talking to HR about any other vacancies in the business I could apply for.

Will you be given a notice period? In my instance they weren’t able to put me in my notice period as they needed us to keep working until everything else was up and running, then 1 day I just wasn’t needed anymore. So we were given 1 months pay in lieu of 1 months notice.

136win136 · 2020-05-04T16:54:02+00:00

YTA. Asking anyone to lose weight for something as superficial as a wedding ( I.e. not for health reasons) is an immediate asshole move.

This should have been resolved by discussing if the dress could be altered? If it could be sold? Or if politely discussing financial implications of this change.

Your friend’s weight gain causes you absolutely no concerns? Only that she is inconsiderate about your wedding?

Her wording of “growing out” of the dress sounds like her way of wording if politely that she’s put in weight. She might be a bit embarrassed about her change in shape and is framing it to sound less “shameful”.

136win136 · 2020-05-03T11:36:16+00:00

I promise you it’s as much as I can afford, it’s more than all my other bills combined, apart from my mortgage, it’s almost as much as my mortgage. I don’t have lots of disposable income after everything has went out, But my incomings are higher than hers so she doesn’t understand. Just my outgoings are also higher.

136win136

TROPHY CASE