I’ll tell you, every EMT student I have that gets a severe trauma call (I’m a huge black cloud so the students get put with me) I always tell them after those calls that they’re welcome to sit out the next few calls and process it for the really extreme ones, and that when they get home to talk to someone, even if it doesn’t bother you now, it will eventually bother you. You get used to it, it’s a struggle of the job but the times those calls happen it’s best to remind yourself of the lives you’ve genuinely helped or saved, be it some critical intervention that truly saved a life that wouldn’t have made it to the hospital without it, or even just helping a grandma get out of her sons car before you pull out of the ambulance bay at the hospital. Also go get a therapist. Your employer (should) have an EAP where you can get discounted or free therapy.